mark shackelford's definitions

monarchbutter

The accumulation of smashed Monarch butterflies on the front of any motorized vehicle. Monarchbutter is a seasonal product with a harvest occuring during the annual migration of Monarch butterflies in South Texas.

<Passenger> Man, I'm starving and I'm broke. Can you buy me something to eat at the next stop?
<Driver> I only have enough money for gas, but I have some bread and jelly in the back. Let's scrape a little monarchbutter off the car and make some sandwiches!

by Mark Shackelford May 27, 2007

FAR Tea

Federal Aviation Regulations that are being read at night as a remedy for insomnia.

When I can't sleep I just have a little bit of FAR tea and I'm out in minutes.

by Mark Shackelford May 7, 2007

holysexual

Men and women who completely abstain from even the hint of sex until married and only have sex with their spouse in obedience to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

<pastor> I didn't even kiss my wife until we were married. On our honeymoon, it was about a two hour drive to our hotel after the flight. I was doing all I could to contain myself. We finally arrived and what happened after that is none of your business.
<teenager> Were you asexual or something?
<pastor> No, I am a holysexual.

by Mark Shackelford June 1, 2007

mexican cereal

Corn chip fragments mixed with salsa eaten with a spoon.

When life throws you nothing but the bottom of a bag of corn chips and some salsa, make mexican cereal!

by Mark Shackelford August 6, 2007

audiopile

A collection of outdated audio components that are not good enough to employ and not bad enough to discard.

Man, your audiopile is to die for!

by Mark Shackelford May 5, 2007

bingo stamp

To involuntarily put a spot on your underwear with your feces.

<Walmart customer in check out line> Can you speed it up, I'm about to bingo stamp my underwear?!

by Mark Shackelford May 29, 2007

hobosexual

Men who date homeless women thinking they will have easy love for giving them food and shelter. The women usually leave the relationship when they find the man is flaky.

<friend1> Why is your your brother always dating those scummy women?
<friend2> He's a hobosexual.

by Mark Shackelford June 12, 2007