mark shackelford's definitions

holysexual

Men and women who completely abstain from even the hint of sex until married and only have sex with their spouse in obedience to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

<pastor> I didn't even kiss my wife until we were married. On our honeymoon, it was about a two hour drive to our hotel after the flight. I was doing all I could to contain myself. We finally arrived and what happened after that is none of your business.
<teenager> Were you asexual or something?
<pastor> No, I am a holysexual.

by Mark Shackelford June 1, 2007

Jeep

A term used to loosely describe your SUV when trying to act like you're so full of life that you don't even know what you really drive.

<customer> I need a part for my Mitsubishi Jeep.
<parts man> Is that a Mitsubishi or a Jeep?
<customer> It's a Mitsubishi.
<parts man> What model Mitsubishi?
<customer> A Jeep.
<parts man> Alright, is that a Wrangler, Cherokee or Grand Cherokee?
<customer> No, it's a Mitsubishi.
<parts man> What kind of Mitsubishi?
<customer> A Mitsubishi Jeep.
<parts man> Do you have the VIN?
<customer> No, I don't.

by Mark Shackelford May 31, 2007

eggslax

The sudden, involuntary, rapid emptying of one's bowels after eating too many eggs.

<egg eater> I'm about to bingo stamp my underwear in a very big way if I don't find a restroom.
<meat eater> Was it something you ate?
<grain eater> He's got a bad case of eggslax!

by Mark Shackelford May 31, 2007

bingo stamp

To involuntarily put a spot on your underwear with your feces.

<Walmart customer in check out line> Can you speed it up, I'm about to bingo stamp my underwear?!

by Mark Shackelford May 29, 2007

remunch

To chew someone out a second time over the same issue.

An accounting term from the words REMain UNCHanged.

<mother> Did Stephanie remunch or forgive you?
<me> She remunched yet another hole in my rear.
<mother> You need to dump her.
<me> I can't... I love her.

by Mark Shackelford November 20, 2007

numlock

The event that no matter how hard you work on a problem or how educated and tutored you are, you just can't get the right answer.

Did you figure out the square root of 1 yet?
No, I've had numlock all week.

by Mark Shackelford May 7, 2007

R12

R12 was a planet in the Star Wars comic series. R12 was best known for producing a unique gas, also called R12, that was the most potent refrigerant known to the galaxy. R12 gas became obselete when the planet R12 was destroyed by the Death Star.

<Han Solo> Quick, Chewie, grab a can of R12 and recharge the A/C system.
<Chewie> (unintelligible reply)

by Mark Shackelford June 27, 2007