mark shackelford's definitions

captain crash

To 'go down with the ship' when crashing a bicycle, skateboard, tricycle, etc.

My little boy captain crashed his trike but did all he could to land the jump.

by Mark Shackelford June 11, 2007

FAR Tea

Federal Aviation Regulations that are being read at night as a remedy for insomnia.

When I can't sleep I just have a little bit of FAR tea and I'm out in minutes.

by Mark Shackelford May 7, 2007

lung dung

Cigarette smoke byproducts that accumulate in the lungs of smokers.

<doctor> You've got quite a bit of lung dung buildup on both sides. The only advice I have is to quit smoking.
<smoking advocate> No way! That would be infringing on my civil rights.

by Mark Shackelford August 1, 2007

bingo stamp

To involuntarily put a spot on your underwear with your feces.

<Walmart customer in check out line> Can you speed it up, I'm about to bingo stamp my underwear?!

by Mark Shackelford May 29, 2007

holysexual

Men and women who completely abstain from even the hint of sex until married and only have sex with their spouse in obedience to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

<pastor> I didn't even kiss my wife until we were married. On our honeymoon, it was about a two hour drive to our hotel after the flight. I was doing all I could to contain myself. We finally arrived and what happened after that is none of your business.
<teenager> Were you asexual or something?
<pastor> No, I am a holysexual.

by Mark Shackelford June 1, 2007

mexican cereal

Corn chip fragments mixed with salsa eaten with a spoon.

When life throws you nothing but the bottom of a bag of corn chips and some salsa, make mexican cereal!

by Mark Shackelford August 6, 2007

Jeep

A term used to loosely describe your SUV when trying to act like you're so full of life that you don't even know what you really drive.

<customer> I need a part for my Mitsubishi Jeep.
<parts man> Is that a Mitsubishi or a Jeep?
<customer> It's a Mitsubishi.
<parts man> What model Mitsubishi?
<customer> A Jeep.
<parts man> Alright, is that a Wrangler, Cherokee or Grand Cherokee?
<customer> No, it's a Mitsubishi.
<parts man> What kind of Mitsubishi?
<customer> A Mitsubishi Jeep.
<parts man> Do you have the VIN?
<customer> No, I don't.

by Mark Shackelford May 31, 2007