mark shackelford's definitions

holysexual

Men and women who completely abstain from even the hint of sex until married and only have sex with their spouse in obedience to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

<pastor> I didn't even kiss my wife until we were married. On our honeymoon, it was about a two hour drive to our hotel after the flight. I was doing all I could to contain myself. We finally arrived and what happened after that is none of your business.
<teenager> Were you asexual or something?
<pastor> No, I am a holysexual.

by Mark Shackelford June 1, 2007

mexican cereal

Corn chip fragments mixed with salsa eaten with a spoon.

When life throws you nothing but the bottom of a bag of corn chips and some salsa, make mexican cereal!

by Mark Shackelford August 6, 2007

Jeep

A term used to loosely describe your SUV when trying to act like you're so full of life that you don't even know what you really drive.

<customer> I need a part for my Mitsubishi Jeep.
<parts man> Is that a Mitsubishi or a Jeep?
<customer> It's a Mitsubishi.
<parts man> What model Mitsubishi?
<customer> A Jeep.
<parts man> Alright, is that a Wrangler, Cherokee or Grand Cherokee?
<customer> No, it's a Mitsubishi.
<parts man> What kind of Mitsubishi?
<customer> A Mitsubishi Jeep.
<parts man> Do you have the VIN?
<customer> No, I don't.

by Mark Shackelford May 31, 2007

monarchbutter

The accumulation of smashed Monarch butterflies on the front of any motorized vehicle. Monarchbutter is a seasonal product with a harvest occuring during the annual migration of Monarch butterflies in South Texas.

<Passenger> Man, I'm starving and I'm broke. Can you buy me something to eat at the next stop?
<Driver> I only have enough money for gas, but I have some bread and jelly in the back. Let's scrape a little monarchbutter off the car and make some sandwiches!

by Mark Shackelford May 27, 2007

waterblogged

To become saturated with blogs to the point of being unable to function normally.

<boyfriend> What's wrong with you tonite, you look like you were hit by a Mac truck?
<girlfriend> Sorry, I spent a little too much time on the computer and I'm a little waterblogged right now.

by Mark Shackelford June 11, 2007

I see dumb people

A famous quote from the movie "The seventh sense." The plot of the movie revolves around a disturbed boy who tells his counselor, "I see dumb people... and they don't even know they're dumb." In the end, the counselor goes back to his home and finds that he is one of the dumb people the boy was speaking of.

I see dumb people... and they don't even know they're dumb!

by Mark Shackelford November 20, 2007

rhoid buffing

In mountainbiking, to descend a hill so steep your butt touches the back wheel.

I was rhoid buffing down that huge hill in Waco.

by Mark Shackelford August 20, 2007