18 definitions by laserswordofdeath +3

Deathkill

An act of badassery so severe that the term 'kill' does not do the action any justice. Usually inflicted upon more than one noob/victim. Popularised by the likes of Audie Murphy, Alvin Yorke and Simo Häyhä

"omglolwtf I just totally did a deathkill when I saw the six tanks and about two hundred soldiers approaching" - Direct quote from Audie Murphy after he held the Colmar Pocket by himself

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016

chocolate ball cheerleader

A person who deliberately wipes back to front

I love going down on my man, especially after a stomach bug. He is a real chocolate ball cheerleader - adds that little extra!

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016

Emojirotica

A type of virtual sex act where only emojis are used. Common amongst teens and thirty-somethings who are trying to act younger.

John: 💪

Claire: 👀

John: 😈

Claire: 😍

John: 🙏

Claire: ✔

John: 🍆

Claire: 😳

John: 👉

Claire:👌

John: 👉👌

Claire:💦

John: 🔥🔥🔥

Claire:💥💥💥

John: 🚬

Claire:🚼

John: ⛔

Claire: 🙏

John: 🚪

Claire:😢

John: You are taking this emojirotica way too far.

by laserswordofdeath +3 November 6, 2017

Cock shy

Entering a public restroom for a quick wizz and upon seeing other men at the urinal, opting to use the stalls instead. Usually implies one has a small penis.

I really don't want to have other men laugh at my 2 inch dick, it makes me all cock shy!

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016

menstropire

menstropire - a person who engages in oral sex on a woman during her period

I am not fond of going down on my lady. Except during that time of the month. I am a total menstropire, sue me

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016

Mommy Pee break

The time when kids get up to the craziest things, run amok and tear the house down. Usually happens when the mother has to relieve her bladder.
Can lead to rooms being destroyed and/or infanticide.

Candice: "Omfg! I was in the bathroom for ONE MINUTE! And when I came back, the plasma TV is broken on the floor, the ADSL cable had been chewed off, my two year old is covered in body cream, there is food on the ground and the dog is spraypainted green!"

Jacques: "Sounds like your standard Mommy Pee Break. Seriously, if the house was not set on fire and your kids are still in one piece, you count yourself lucky"

Candice: "What?! You think this is funny? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I DO ALL DAY?

Jacques: "Calm down, it's okay, I'm..."

Candice: "DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN YOU SON OF A BITCH! I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH ELAINE!"

Jacques: "Wait, what, who told you?!"

Candice: "I FUCKING SAW YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

Jacques: ...

by laserswordofdeath +3 November 4, 2017

Mommy Pee break

A Mommy Pee Break is when a mother goes to the loo for a second and the kids decide to use that exact moment to raise all sorts of hell and run amok. Usually ends up in the house being trashed or burned down.

Candice: I just left them for a second and when I came back, all hell was loose! The ADSL cable is unplugged, the flatscreen TV has been demolished, my two year old is covered in cream, my perfume has been thrown down the sink and the dog has been painted green! All in the time it took for me to have a pee!

Jacques: Sounds like a standard Mommy Pee Break. If they are still alive and the house is still standing, we are doing good.

Candice: FML

by laserswordofdeath +3 November 4, 2017