56 definitions by l.martin

1)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that mysteriously becomes
less reliable for a woman-the wealthier a man is.
2)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that has been available-in
at least nine different forms to women-for now about
50 YEARS.(There's only two for men:Condom.Vasectomy.)This means nine different forms BEFORE you even
touch abortion or sterilization...But "unplanned"/unwanted
kids still get here.
3)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology-available more to women
than men.Yet newsmedia continues to blame men for
irresponsible breeding.Interesting.I've never met a man
who decided when a baby would be born.
SPORTS ANCHOR:"On the day of the draft-the now rich,young QUARTERBACK
found himself served with PATERNITY SUIT papers."

CHICK TO DUDE:"It's okay.I'm on the BIRTH CONTROL pill.My
doctor says I can't get pregnant anyway.I
just want to FEEL you."

SAME CHICK TO GIRLFRIEND 90 DAYS LATER:"I don't know how it
happened.I was'nt planning on this...but I
don't believe in abortion.Sooo..."
by l.martin September 3, 2006
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An upscale strip mall on a stretch of P.C.H. sandwiched between NEWPORT BEACH and LAGUNA BEACH.Twelve dollar hamburgers...Two hundred dollar cooking utensils...Day spa's...Hot milfy's pulling up in Escalades and Bentley sedans-kid in tow-for some shopping at the Gap...40/50 something guys in Astons and Ferraris sipping Starbux-and projecting power via horsepower...2-20 million dollar homes in the hills behind the mall...all overlooking the Pacific.In other words...A WHITE RAP VIDEO...only it's real.
NEWPORT COAST RESIDENT WITH BINOCULARS:"Looks like Jim cashed in some Broadcom stock options and bought a FORD GT.Take a look.He just pulled in to CRYSTAL COVE."

NEIGHBOR:"I'm not puttin'up with that! Time to take the cover off the McLAREN...goin' down for a cup of coffee."

N.C.R.W.B-"My VEYRON was just delivered a coupla' days ago.I'm right behind 'ya.He has to be put in check!"
by l.martin November 17, 2005
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A 20something man who lands a hot female his age or slightly older.(no more than 5 years)He's muscular,pretty,and fucks the daylights outta her.Too bad he's broke.She's out whoring around with "WEALTHY MEN WHO CAN..."but has LAPDOG for emotional comfort and workouts at the gym.He don't really wanna know what the deal is 'bout that nice condo and the Porsche Boxster.All relationships are temporary...and this one's no different:She'll either
dump him when "MR.BIG STAMPS" decides to take her private...
Or when he returns to being ALPHA DOG as opposed to safe LAPDOG.
GYM RAT 1:"Wassup wit'Dylan and that chick he trains with?
He don't hang wit' us no mo'."

GYM RAT 2:"Yeah...Never seen homie play LAPDOG like this
before.Must be pussy whipped."
by l.martin October 30, 2005
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The fantasy of collectors everywhere-(mostly automotive)-that they'll stumble upon a mint condition vintage 'Benz or Ferrari
in a barn or airplane hangar somewhere between N.Y/L.A....owned by someone just happy to get rid of it.Uh-huh.
COLLECTOR:"My 300SL Roadster was a BARN FIND from an estate sale on a river town in Southern Indiana.Family was just happy to be rid of the thing at 90k.Imagine that!"

COLLECTOR 2:"Enough with your fish stories!Even in desperation
nobody let's that rig go for less than 300K.There's photos of you at Barrett Jackson last month anyway."
by l.martin October 14, 2005
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A GAME PLAYED BY BLACK PEOPLE AGAINST OTHER BLACK PEOPLE IN A LAME ATTEMPT TO :
1)APPEAR TO BE MORE IN TUNE OR "DOWN" WITH WHAT BLACK PEOPLE ARE ABOUT.
2)PAINT THE PERSON THEY'RE HAVING AN AN EXCHANGE WITH AS "ACTING WHITE" OR "UNCLE TOM".
SUCH BEHAVIOR HAS HISTORICALLY DONE MORE HARM THAN GOOD.MANY KIDS WHO MIGHT OTHERWISE HAVE FULLY DEVELOPED THEIR ACADEMIC POTENTIAL HAVE BEEN SABOTAGED BY THIS MINDSET.SUCH MINDSET HAS ALSO CREATED A "STUCK ON STUPID" MENTALITY THAT DISCOURAGES INDEPENDENT THINKING OR DISCOVERY OF OTHER WORLDS OR WAYS OF BEING.ENOUGH PEOPLE...ENOUGH.
BROTHA 1: " CERTAIN ELEMENTS OF MODERN CONSERVATISM APPEAL
TO ME"
"BLACKER THAN THOU" BROTHA 2:"RIIGHT...'DATS 'CAUSE YOU WANNA
BE WHITE.'JUS GO ON 'HED 'N
ADMIT IT.ALWAYS KNEW 'DAT 'BOUT
YO' ASS."
by l.martin September 4, 2005
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The overarching theme under which SEX would be re-designed...if men were in control.
TIPSY-ABOUT TO GET SHUT DOWN ON A DATE-LOSER:"Sex is just so poorly designed."(hiccup)

WOMAN:"Oh?"

LOSER:"Yep.It should be free!":
"Pregnancy free."
"Disease free."
"Barrier free."
"Commitment free."
"Drama free."
"Cost free."
"You know...FREE!"
"...And it should come in nice "8" or higher
packaging."

WOMAN:"Check please."
by l.martin September 23, 2005
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The financial number at which you can opt not to work.It's different for everyone...but generally speaking...if you buy into the "American Way of Life"...that number is somewhere around 5million liquid.At that point-you have a barrier against "the unforseen"(illness/injury)...or the fully known. (divorce/criminal children)Hefty appettite for booze,sex,and gambling?Triple that number.
Between his ex-wives,children,and jet set travel-James the attorney has a higher FUCK YOU NUMBER than Joe the plumbing contractor.
by l.martin September 27, 2005
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