Mission: TSA protects the Nation's transportation systems to ensure freedom of movement for people and commerce, while conducting psychological testing on travelers.
Vision: TSA continuously sets the standard for excellence in transportation security through its people, processes, and technology and envisions a time in America's future when customers entering the Stop 'n' Rob will be patted down by the illegal alien at the counter.
"I'm tired of masturbating; I'm gonna go to the airport an get me a TSA"
"Should I be worried that my boyfriend enjoyed being gate raped with a TSA?"
Heard from a TSA conversation, "they used to not take off their shoes; just how far will they let us go? Maybe we CAN implement the 'strip-n-spread'!"
The ultimate in modern security searches to be performed by TSA officials on members of the public at the entry of all government facilities and prior to those citizens boarding any form of transportation.
Citizens wishing to board an airplane, for example, are gate raped by members of the TSA through a thorough pat down and followed up with the "strip-n-spread", wherein the citizen disrobes, lays back and is fitted into comfy warm stirrups prior to their mandatory cavity search.
Before TSA implemented the strip-n-spread I was so scared of taking the bus to work. Now I can feel secure in knowing that my fellow passengers have nothing explosive shoved up their asterisk