6 definitions by jsf87

Top Definition
Perhaps one of the greatest of God's creations, but at the same time the worst. It all depends on the circumstances. When the body goes into REM sleep, capillaries go into hyper vasodilation, and thus the penis becomes goes in one of the most intense and hardest erections a man can experience.
TEACHER: Tommy!? You're late again! Care to explain!?
TOMMY: You want the truth?
TOMMY: OK, here it goes. For the past few mornings, I've woken up with some gnarly morning wood, and to waste something is a sin; so, I took full advantage of the situation each time.

DAN: Dude, what's up? You sick or something?
JAKE: No, man. I slept naked last night, and slept in this morning to the point where my mom came into my room and threw the sheets off of me. I had massive morning wood, dude, and she saw it. AWKWARD!!!
by JSF87 June 13, 2011
Being in a state that is comparable to intoxication after having experienced an exceptional orgasm. Usually results in stumbling around, disorientation, slurring of words/sentences, temporarily impaired vision and a cramp in a foot or a leg.
I fucked her so good she came hard and was cum drunk for like ten minutes afterward.
by JSF87 October 03, 2011
Using condiment bottles as dildos for sexual gratification.
John: Where is the ketchup bottle?
Lisa: It is in my room, I was pepper potting last night.
by jsf87 August 05, 2010
The act of drawing or otherwise rendering the image of a penis or a penis and testicles on something, usually someone else's property, as a means of playing a prank.
Damn, some asshole penilized my notebook.
by JSF87 February 20, 2012
An exceptionally epic '70s Soft Rock Ballad by Gary Wright with some sick and kind of creepy synthesizer effects to start the song off making you wonder, "What the fuck is going on!?" if you've never heard the song before, but sending chills down your spine and getting you pumped for Dream Weaver if you have heard the song before. It then does a total 180 when Gary starts singing the first lyrics, and then he segues into the refrain, which is an 11 on a scale from 1 to 10 of epicness. It is a quintessential '70s song. It's a good song to trip acid to, smoke weed to or do mushrooms to.
Dude, I brought the kush. Did you bring Dream Weaver?
by JSF87 May 21, 2011
A term for a woman who enjoys sexual stimulation. Historically, it has had a negative connotation, and to this day is still confused with the word "whore". Being a slut is a glorious attribute, and an honorable quality for a woman. It means she likes to have fun in an adult manner with herself and/or with a partner(s) close enough to her.
How many people do you think she's been with? She's a total slut!

You mean she's a whore. She isn't, but she is a slut. She loves to have sex, but she won't do it with just anyone. There has to be some manner of relationship whether romantic or friends with benefits.
by JSF87 December 04, 2014

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