40 definitions by john wesley

Someone who has had so much plastic surgery and/or botox, their lips no longer move and they must speak only using the motion provided by their lower jaw.
We saw this hot looking woman, but she had so much face surgery she looked like a muppet when she spoke.
by john wesley February 9, 2008
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The latent energy frustration built up by your mouse by looking at porn in much the same way it gets built up in you.
Thats the worst case of blue mouse balls ive ever seen.
by john wesley February 9, 2008
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Volunteer Firefighter. Characterized by their custom maltese cross back window sticker and general disregard for driving safety while using their "flashers". Can also be spotted easily "off duty" (wal-mart, sonic, dollar general) wearing parts of their on-duty clothes and overtly apparent pagers. Most have a wallet badge and emergency trauma bag in their back seat containing just enough shit to get them in a slightly worse situation than they already are.
I had a fender bender and 2 Vollies stopped and held c-spine on me. Needless to say, I didn't panic and "felt" like I would be OK, mostly because they told me I would.
by john wesley February 9, 2008
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Pootist Holy War. So extreme, no one shall be left standing at the end of such carnage.
Mike the devout Pootist Monk called for a Fartwa to be carried out by all his followers.
by john wesley February 9, 2008
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The untanned area directly under a girls ass cheeks that resemble cat eyes when bent over. Resulting from neither the suns nor the tanning beds ability to shine there.
Shelly bent over and it looked like a giant pair of cat eyes staring back at me.
by john wesley February 11, 2008
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A person so incredibly stupid that if it were not for the conveniences of modern technology and public safety, they would have been weeded out, starved or eaten way before they reached adulthood. So prominent is the unnatural selection that these people not only survive, they thrive and breed more darwin babies.
Darwin Baby: "I decided to change my own oil just to see if I could but I didnt know it would take so long to refill the new oil down that little tube where the dipstick is."
Casual Observer: "Darwin Baby"
by john wesley February 9, 2008
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