41 definitions by john wesley

Top Definition
a jew biscuit is another term for a bagel.
This jew biscuit is hard as a rock.

I've been eating this same jew biscuit for like an hour.
by John Wesley February 21, 2008
A coma-like, mid-afternoon sleep like state resulting from a) "whoring it up" the night before; b) planning to "whore it up" later in the evening or c) a combination of the two.
1: anyone seen Jay lately?
2: he's taking a whore nap, better leave him alone.
by John Wesley February 21, 2008
Having so much extra "granny" panty fabric under your pants, it looks like a bat flew into your ass right before you pulled your pants up over it.
Check out the Bats on the Booty under that girls pants.

She'd be hot if she didn't have Bats on the Booty.
by John Wesley February 09, 2008
Diet so severe and lacking in nutrition, the person on it either has the goal of looking like a crack whore or trying to get back down to their birth weight. Composed of "nibbling" instead of eating, even buffet plates of food look like appetizers. Food items such as tacos and burritos are comprised of a few small pieces of rinsed turkey meat and a single sliver of cheese (if they splurge). The avid dieter even orders small waters to go with their salads to avoid the calories ice contains.
Customer: "i'll have the 3 inch turkey club sandwich with the turkey meat dragged across the bread, a pickle with no juice and a small water."
Subway: "you must be on the crack ho skinny diet."

Dieter: "I like to put lemon juice on my baked potatoe as a butter substitute, tastes just like it"
Observer: "you dumb bitch, lemon makes anything taste like LEMON!"
by John Wesley February 12, 2008
Procedure to remove someone from the face of the earth that is over the age of 18 that you know is unwanted, unproductive, a drain to natural resources or otherwise known as someone that you are pretty sure should not have been here in the first place.
She's such a useless crack head, somebody should really do an Adult Abortion on her.
by John Wesley February 09, 2008
A person so incredibly stupid that if it were not for the conveniences of modern technology and public safety, they would have been weeded out, starved or eaten way before they reached adulthood. So prominent is the unnatural selection that these people not only survive, they thrive and breed more darwin babies.
Darwin Baby: "I decided to change my own oil just to see if I could but I didnt know it would take so long to refill the new oil down that little tube where the dipstick is."
Casual Observer: "Darwin Baby"
by John Wesley February 09, 2008
Honest to God only having a full tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, its night and wearing sunglasses while being at a minimum 106 miles from Chicago or anywhere else. Generally, taking a roadtrip with little or nothing to your name for survival.
I'm headed to Atlanta with a Blues Brothers Loadout.
by John Wesley February 12, 2008

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