2 definitions by joeeeeeeeee

Top Definition
there are about 1,000,000,000 "chav charecterisrics" and a chav is someone who has about 45% of those characteristics or more. about 70% of chav characteristics are ethically bad things, like aggressive behaviour. about 30% are related to tastes in music, fashion, etc. therefore, a chav must have at least 15/70 of ethically bad charecteristics, therefore, they are scum.

chavs taste in music is EXTREMLY limited, and they tend to only listen to the lowest quality of drum and bass, and the most aggressive, unethical forms of rap/hip-hop. their fashion sense is limited to 1. bling 2. stuff that shitty celebrities wear and 3. stuff that other people say is good.

and now we come to the 3rd and final reason that chavs must be exterminated. their attitude is pathetic. they think they can speak english just because they were born in england, but they cant, they use the same shitty insults again and again, they hate everyone who isnt a chav, and have 3 labels for people: their mates are chavs, people that dont like them are gay, and people that are different from them are gofs, even though they dont know the meaning of the words chav, goth, and gay. chavs have sex with the first drunk person they see, dont use condoms, and get pregnant, and dont give a shitt about the baby. they talk on msn messenger in ultra-shorthand "to save time" even though it takes about 20 minutes for the average chav brain to translate what they're trying to say into shorthand. older chavs buy vauxhall novas with their jobseekers allowance and "mod" them with really cheap and really bulky parts, and paint the whole car with a PAINTBRUSH in colours that dont really match at all....

you cant get these terms mixed up:

chavs are scum of the earth
townies are people that dress like chavs
pikeys are people that have SOME similarities to chavs and steal things
scallies are chavs that realize how weak they are and start to build muscle, but are still losers
a ned is someone like a chav that has some friends who are sympathetic to them
a rudeboy is NOT a chav, a rudeboy is someone who listens to a lot of hip-hop and is cheeky all the time
20 year old chav: ey bruds, le's go 4 a drive, init?
7 year old chav: SAFE
12 year old chav: SAFE

chavs go driving in a shitty, over-modded vauxhall nova, and stop outside sainsburies

20 year old chav: le's pu' som moosic on init

drum and bass starts playing very loudly. old lady walks outside sainsburies, notices the chavs, and starts walking faster

7 year old chav: i don' like the look o' 'er init
12 year old chav: le's bea' 'er up init
20 year old chav: YEA! we is WEL' 'ARD! INIT!
7 year old chav: SAFE!

they leave the car and attack the old lady, who beats the living shitt out of them easily

12 year old chav: u is wel' gay init

later, at a shitty drum n bass party

20 year old chav: u is wel' fit init
drunk chavvette: yeh, i wan' your babies!

they go to bus stop and have sex in front of loads of people, boasting during.

9 months later, a baby is born and the chavvette leaves it in a trashcan
by joeeeeeeeee February 25, 2006
rather than deciding for themselves what theyre into, townies decide to "like" what their mates like and what the charts tell them to like. this is for 2 reasons: 1. theyre afraid they will lose friends, and 2. theyre afraid that if they make decisions for themselves they will be uncool.

And then there are emos, who, instead of making decisions for themselves, they try to be as different as possible from the crowd, and end up looking and being exactly the same as eachother.

the only true route coolness is to be unique and decide for yourself what you like, and have reasons for liking that and being able to accept other peoples opinions and not have arguements
townie 1: i like 50 ceny
townie 2: me too!

cool person 1: i like kaiser chiefs!
emo 1: i hate them!

emo 2: i like dashboard confessional
emo 1: i prefer taking back sunday
emo 2: me too!

cool person 2: i like coldplay
cool person 1: yeah, theyre quite cool.

townies and emos have not achieved coolness
goths, grungers, roodbois, etc have NEARLY achieved coolness

people that are unique but listen to other peoples opinions have achieved coolness

if everyone in the world achieved coolness, then people would be able to use the above labels without being hated by people without that label. labels are a way of trying to be unique, but they often fail due to the human obsession with rivalry.
by joeeeeeeeee March 09, 2006

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