4 definitions by joe995
by joe995 October 2, 2023
A medium to large sized house, that is well kept yet vacant - having been bought by banks, house flippers or speculators for the sole sake of investment, like a gold brick, rather than being used to live in. One of the major reasons for the high prices of housing, and also the shortage of 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 housing.
Drove through this nice neighborhood, but noticed a lot of empty homes with no "for sale" signs. But later I found all those houses are half a million each, even though they aren't that big. Seem those empty homes are gold bricked houses.
by joe995 August 1, 2023
Old Maid I'd Like To Fuck
A woman who never married or had kids, yet in middle age she is still very hot - and really gets around. Loves to babysit her plainer-looking sister's kids so she can shower them with gifts and treats just like a grandmother, much to the resentment of her sister - especially when that sister's husband can't take his eyes off her (seeing what 'could've been') when she visits.
Much more rare that an actual MILF, but will be more common soon as more people will choose not to marry and/or have kids.
A woman who never married or had kids, yet in middle age she is still very hot - and really gets around. Loves to babysit her plainer-looking sister's kids so she can shower them with gifts and treats just like a grandmother, much to the resentment of her sister - especially when that sister's husband can't take his eyes off her (seeing what 'could've been') when she visits.
Much more rare that an actual MILF, but will be more common soon as more people will choose not to marry and/or have kids.
Husband (talking to his buddies at work): "Wow, you should've seen my wife's sis show up to see to the kids while me and my wife went to dinner. She was such a OMILF! The kids were pretty happy too, though my wife wasn't..."
by joe995 September 15, 2023
When a guy is naked, lying on his back, and due to extreme excitement, or more likely, extreme fear, he pees a strong stream of urine straight up all over himself.
(Dude, lying in bed naked, wakes up, seeing a burglar hovering over him with a gun to his head)
Dude: "Please don't kill me!"
Burglar: "I might, (cocks gun) just to have no witnesses, hahaha!!!"
Dude: "OOOOHHHH NOOOOOOO!!!!!"
(dude starts peeing like a baby)
Dude: "Please don't kill me!"
Burglar: "I might, (cocks gun) just to have no witnesses, hahaha!!!"
Dude: "OOOOHHHH NOOOOOOO!!!!!"
(dude starts peeing like a baby)
by joe995 July 19, 2023