10 definitions by jeffgannon

Top Definition
Someone who repeatedly whines that homosexuals endanger family values and the sanctity of marriage, until outed as a closet case, desperately afraid of the gay person looking back in the mirror.

Someone who calls homosexuality a "lifestyle choice" but their own biology disagrees. Think about it: did you CHOOSE to be straight? As a teenager did you sit down one day and decide whether to be attracted to boys or girls?
It isn't surprising that stories about homophobes (like Bob Allen, Roy Ashburn, Bruce Barclay, Larry Craig, John Curtin, Mark Foley, Matthew Glavin, Ted Haggard, Phillip Hinkle, Glenn Murphy, Brent Parker, George Rekers, Ed Schrock, etc) often end with "was caught behind the restroom with a cock in his mouth".
by JeffGannon January 04, 2012
Actual: An economic system in between capitalism and communism, advocating collective ownership of the means of production and distribution of goods.

Slang: Anything that a right winger doesn't like.
The national highway system is an example of socialism.

That atheist socialist Hussein wants to impose Sharia Law and gay marriage on America!
by JeffGannon February 06, 2012
Derogatory term for a liberal activist, implying that s/he is a lunatic. The opposite of wingnut.
Conservative Jones, Boy Detective: You're just in time. My colleague, Glenn Beck, has brought a mystery to my attention! The Fasces is an ancient Roman symbol co-opted by the Fascists. Now look at the back of the Mercury Dime, minted by Woodrow Wilson, and what do you see? It's proof that Democrats are historical fascists!

Moonbat McWacky: Actually, the Mercury Dime predates Fascism by several years, and the same symbol can be found in the Oval Office, Congress, and the Lincoln Memorial.

Jones: Good God, Moonbat, do you know what that means? Fascists have been trying to take over this country... since before they even existed!
by JeffGannon January 25, 2012
Barack Hussein Obama II is the 44th POTUS. Considered to be a devotee of Christian Reverend Jeremiah Wright, a Kenyan Muslim and a Godless Socialist, who spends all his time apologizing to terrorists.

Obama's mother mysteriously flew from her home in Hawaii over to Africa to give birth, but presciently knew he would run for President, so she ran baby announcements in two Hawaii newspapers, then snuck a fake birth certificate into a hospital. Obviously.
Obama socialism:
* supporting Wall Street investment banks.
* ObamaCare causing Americans to use private health insurance.

Obama Muslim-ness:
* drinking Obama beer.
* protecting women's access to birth control.
* supporting gay marriage.

Obama kowtowing:
* resuming and completing the pursuit of Osama Bin Laden.
* killing more Al Qaeda members (via drone strikes) in 3 years than Bush did in 7.
by JeffGannon September 13, 2012
A politician whose middle name is Mitt. His lips move but his hair doesn't.
"We have tough gun laws in Massachusetts; I support them." - Willard Romney in 2002.
"I will preserve and protect a woman's right to choose and am devoted and dedicated to honoring my word in that regard." - Willard Romney in 2004.
"I proposed that everyone must either purchase a product of their choice or demonstrate that they can pay for their own health care. It's a personal responsibility principle. ... It applies to people who are excessively using the free-care pool, and some incentive to avoid that is appropriate. But it's not a tax." - Willard Romney in 2006.
"Let Detroit Go Bankrupt." - Willard Romney in 2008.
"There was a fear that the whole economic system of America would collapse -- that all of our banks, or virtually all, would go out of business. In that circumstance, President Bush and Hank Paulson said we've got to do something to show we're not going to let the whole system go out of business. I think they were right to do that." - Willard Romney in 2010.
by JeffGannon August 21, 2012
Hostility towards people who care about facts and education.

The mentality that truthiness satirizes.
Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that "my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge." - Isaac Asimov
by JeffGannon January 06, 2012
Romney's full name. Oddly enough, he didn't like being called Willard, and chose to go by his middle name instead.

His father, George Romney, named him after hotel magnate J Willard Marriott and his uncle Milton Romney (nicknamed Mitt).
Willard Mitt Romney or Barack Hussein Obama. Either way, we'll have a president with a weird name.
by JeffGannon August 14, 2012

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