13 definitions by iain1977

The host of the BBC Radio 1's brekfast show, thinks of himself as "the saviour of radio one".

In reality he is an obese, unfunny, drunken, homophobic bully. He once offered to "break in" a girl who was 15 at the time. His show is staffed with sychophants whose job is to laugh at his painfully unfunny, scripted jokes and agree with everything he says despite its obvious idiocy.

To describe someone as a Chris Moyles means that they think that they are wonderful, handsome, clever and the life of the party when in fact they are about as popular as a rattlesnake in a lucky dip, the only reason people hang out with them is because they're rich.

He is paid in excess of £630k of taxpayers money meaning that the great british public are shelling out over a pound a second for his output (including the songs he plays, having been given a playlist as he's not allowed free reign)
a: I heard Chris Moyles on the radio this morning
b: Whose jokes was he stealing this time?

a: Did you hear that cunt Moyles on radio this morning?
b: Yeah, what a fuckmonkey, even with a script and his sycophants he's about as funny as a busted colon

a: Did you see the 2008 Brits?
b: Yeah, that fucker Moyles fell flat on his face, or he would have if his stomach hadn't got in the way
by Iain1977 May 02, 2008
A man who is going out with a lady who is considerably older than he is. So called because he can often be found servicing an old boiler.
That Ashton Kutcher he's a total gasman.
by Iain1977 March 26, 2007
Description of someone extremely slow to pick things up.
Jim's been losing at three-card monty for 3 hours now - damn he's got a learning curve like a spirit level!
by Iain1977 January 29, 2008
CV
1. A Curriculum Vitae or resume is a list of your qualifications, achievements, skills etc that you give to a prospective employer.

2. Tits.
1.
man I'll never get this job unless I lie on my CV

2.
a: I saw you were interviewing for a new secretary yesterday - who the job job?
b: *sniggers* the one with the best CV
by Iain1977 April 15, 2008
1. A résumé is a list of your qualifications, achievements, skills etc that you give to a prospective employer.

2. Tits.

1.
man I'll never get this job unless I lie on my résumé

2.
a: I saw you were interviewing for a new secretary yesterday - who the job job?
b: *sniggers* the one with the best résumé
by Iain1977 April 15, 2008
A UK polytechnic which has recently been defined as a university. Usually offering non-degrees in media studies, criminology, psychology etc
Despite their offical University status nobody takes them, their degrees or their graduates seriously.
Examples include the Universities of Luton, Reading and East London.
Emmy's such a dumb bitch, she keeps going on about her degree and stuff but she went to the Puniversity of East London.

You need an IQ of at least 46 to get into a Puniversity

John was in a coma but still managed to get a place at a Puniversity
by Iain1977 November 19, 2007
1. A marvel of industrial engineering, linking the industrial town of Hull with the fishing port of Grimsby

2. The female perineum, so called because like the Humber Bridge it links a place that stinks of shit with one that stinks of fish.
That girl from Brimingham stank, the cleanest part of her was her Humber Bridge
by Iain1977 February 22, 2008

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