12 definitions by iMonkeyBIZ
Recent studies show that after leaving your 9-5, the most optimal way to spend your evening is eating Chipotle and getting a blowjob. This is statistically shown to increase levels of serotonin, endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin.
Person 1 - Hey man, are you executing the optimized weekday after-work game plan?
Person 2 - Of course brother. I'm picking up 2 orders of chipotle at 6. Girlfriend is coming over at 6:30!
Person 2 - Of course brother. I'm picking up 2 orders of chipotle at 6. Girlfriend is coming over at 6:30!
by iMonkeyBIZ February 9, 2020
Girlfriend - Hey baby, I'm excited to see you when I get back in town. Could you clean up the house before I get home?
Boyfriend - Whatever you want. As long as I get a blowjob.
Boyfriend - Whatever you want. As long as I get a blowjob.
by iMonkeyBIZ February 10, 2020
Without having a positive male role model, people will seek validation from powerful male figures throughout their lives and never know why.
by iMonkeyBIZ February 10, 2020
Refers to a situation upon which there is a statistically binary outcome in the opportunity to have sex with an attractive married woman.
Person A - How do I know if there's a fifty percent chance I fuck your wife?
Person B - It's cool with me as long as it's cool with her and I'm allowed to watch!
Person B - It's cool with me as long as it's cool with her and I'm allowed to watch!
by iMonkeyBIZ February 9, 2020
An add-on feature that removes overweight women from the feeds men who use dating apps. The program cross-references a database of more than 1 billion pictures of different women's silhouettes in real-time to remove any profiles outside of your parameters.
Person 1 - Have you downloaded that Fat Chick Machine Learning algorithm yet?
Person 2 - Ya man! 80% of my swipes are on dime pieces. My ratios are through the roof.
Person 2 - Ya man! 80% of my swipes are on dime pieces. My ratios are through the roof.
by iMonkeyBIZ February 9, 2020