51 definitions by hmb

1. To masturbate to orgasm (usually suffixed by "over" something or somebody). This is usually but not exclusively used to describe male masturbation.
2. To lose consciousness (3rd person). Used when describing a general nonspecific occurrence.
3. To lose consciousness (1st person Royal). Used exclusively by members of the hereditary ruling families of English speaking countries to describe what happened to them when they were last playing "Who's the Tampon, Camilla?"
4. (imperative) An injunction given, in the 2nd person singular, to knock out one of whatever is to be knocked out.
1. "Did you see that .jpeg of Madonna with the thong and pickled egg? I was on my way to work but when I saw that in my inbox I was waylaid by the need to rest awhile and knock one out."
2. "Billy, have you been knocking one out over here? The smell in this room is enough to knock one out."
3. "One has been knocking one out, one must pronounce oneself feeble as the strain of so doing has been enough to knock one out."
4. When two Scouse teenagers - wearing Kappa tracksuits and sporting formidable Scouse 'fro hairstyles - are going around smashing windows of buildings, and come across a 14th century church with several irreplaceable Gothic stained glass windows depicting scenes from the life of the Virgin Mary, passersby may often hear one Scouse youth inquire of the other whether the ecclesiastical image is worthy to be spared from their brand of urban renewal. The response is frequently "A-right, we'll just knock one out, then, an' leave the rest, okay Barry?" (HMB's Guide to Liverpool Nightlife, Fodders and Stoughton, 1993)
by hmb April 6, 2003
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1. Verb - to press up against or to jostle.
2. Noun - the end part of a rifle or shotgun or machinegun that rests against the shoulder or pectoral muscles to increase stability during firing.
3. Noun - the part of a human being that knows wind and earth. The buttocks and anus of a person.
4. Noun - the recipient or target of a joke.
Ever since Father O'Malley was caught butting that butt into that young choirboy's butt, he has become the butt of many cruel jokes.
by hmb April 11, 2003
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1. (noun, botanical) A growth process whereby a plant sheath or stem segment grows back on itself, essentially turning itself inside out.

2. (noun, CIA/FBI/NSA) An interrogation process whereby a suspect is bent back on himself or herself, essentially turning them inside out.

3. (noun) An intercourse process whereby a body part or prop (e.g., vibrator, cell phone, TV remote, etc) is placed into the vagina.

4. (cartographical) On Olde Worlde Mappes by Iohn Speede, c. 1626, this term meant "having taken one's leave to abscond to Amazonia". Literally "within a country of vaginas".
1. David Attenborough: "But once the fly trap is fed a piece of meat, time-lapse photography demonstrates a dramatic change in growth. By the third invagination, the Venus fly trap has already offered up two new leaves."

2. John Ashcroft: "But once the Eye-rackie is tied to the rack, time-lapse photography demonstrates a dramatic change in growth. By the third invagination, the Taliban suspect has already offered up three new accomplices. Even better, by the fourth invagination, he was no longer able to speak or make any noise at all. A good day's work for the NSA."

3. HMB: "Dude, your aunt is really starting to freak me out. Last time we made out, she suggested invagination, and I agreed. But she made me wrap a brick in cellophane and stick it up her pussy. You don't pay me enough for this sort of crap. I'm going back to Taco Bell."

4. When the American troops arrived in Hanoi to reinforce the ARVN troops there, they quickly learned the skills to stay alive, including camouflage, mine detection, and most importantly, avoiding the major fighting from the vantage point of an observatory invagination - often in groups.
by hmb February 8, 2004
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In text-only conversations, such as email, IM, or status updates, this word means "looks proud" or "looks smug".

It can often be intended ironically, especially when somebody has done something dubious or unhygienic but still feels the need to tell others about it.
Conversation 1 (straight usage):

HMB: Hey, I got sworn in at the high court this week as a lawyer! Woo hoo!
DTM: Oh wow! Respect! I'd imagine you're over the moon about this!
HMB: Yes. Yes, I am. *prouds*

Conversation 2 (ironic usage):

HMB: I breathed on a kitten once, and it got real sick. *prouds*
DTM: Dude, WTF.
by hmb December 21, 2009
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Shorthand for "Hitler's moustache". This describes a woman's pubic hair when she has shaved almost all of it off, leaving only a thin strip of hair covering her vulva.

So named for its similarity to Adolf Hitler's moustache, which was threefold:

a) It was also narrow and dark.
b) It also "lay above the lips".
c) It can move hypnotically, with a strange effect on the weak-minded.
I asked my first girlfriend if she would shave her beaver, and it turns out she was a member of PETA so I ended up getting slapped.

Then I asked my second girlfriend if she would shave her Map of Tasmania, and it turns out she was an Australian Aborigine so she cut me with a flint-knapped knife.

Last night I asked my third girlfriend to shave her Hitler tash, and she looked at me and said "I'm Jewish".

If the Mossad come looking for me, I'm not at home, okay?
by hmb May 23, 2007
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A play on the term decepticon. In the prostitution industry, "transformer" means transvestite/transsexual, and "decepticon" means any very convincing transvestite/transsexual.

An "e-cepticon" is an online version, especially a female buddy or penpal whom you have known for many years, and who turns out (despite all evidence to tbe contrary) to actually be male.
HMB: I've been using this female username on this public game-related bulletin board for five years now, and people are pretty convinced I'm a woman, especially because I update the avatar occasionally with an female friend's picture. But, it's getting harder and harder to talk her into posing for avatar pics these days. I may just have to drop the whole charade and admit she was an e-cepticon.
by hmb April 29, 2005
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(noun) From Ancient Greek dramatic tradition, this usually comes after a great revelation (anagnorisis) has occurred, and consists of a reversal of fortunes. Thus, a king who rules wisely for fifty years, then discovers that he killed his father and married his mother without knowing it, is at that point in time a participant in a peripetaeia.
Film Critic 1: "I was relaxing with a few porn vids the other night and it turns out one of them was a gay porn tape that I'd shoplifted by mistake. Well, guess who was starring in that gay tape?"

Film Critic 2: "Dude, I don't know. I don't watch gay porn."

Film Critic 1: "Me neither, but get this: it was Peter North."

Film Critic 2: "No way!"

Film Critic 1: "I swear, it was Peter North. And another guy was doing him up the butt and then he comes all over the schoolroom table."

Film Critic 2: "Well this certainly makes for a very dramatic peripetaeia, coming as it does hot on the heels of an anagnorisis."

Film Critic 1: "Yes, and we might even say that his latent homosexuality is his hamartia."
by hmb November 20, 2003
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