harry flashman's definitions

Proctologist

That specialty in the medical profession that seems to attract doctors with large, outsized hairy knuckles and are loathe to trim their fingernails.

Dr. Hamfist, my proctologist, apologized for his recent weight gain and said he would be unable to remove his ring, but, that he would proceed gently.

by harry flashman July 12, 2003

all over it

A variation of the phrase "on it", e.g., ...on it like a fly on shit, ...on it like white on rice.

The last time I made a math error the IRS was all over it like a duck on a junebug.

by harry flashman July 14, 2003

frosts my balls

An expression used to indicate annoyance at something or someone.

Every time I hear a politician pontificate about the Earned Income Credit or tax rebates for people who didn't pay taxes it frosts my balls.

by harry flashman July 23, 2003

vienna sausages

A potted meat considered fine dining in Alabama when consumed in quantity with the resulting breath odor being much prized in attracting potential marriage partners; sometimes served at family gatherings with tragic results.

Jarleen, don't give DeWaine no vienna sausages for dinner until he finishes his homework conjugating them Latin verbs.

by harry flashman July 16, 2003

Hortense Vagino

An utterly repulsive proto-typical woman you wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

Don't get divorced over the age of 70; most of the women in the dating pool are like Hortense Vagino.

by harry flashman July 24, 2003

fuck me to tears

A cry of angst.

As the first M-1 Abrams rolled into Baghdad, Saddam cried out, "Fuck me to tears", shaved his beard, donned a dress, lightly applied make-up and then slipped out the back door and joined the fleeing refugees.

by harry flashman August 5, 2003

almoranha

Spanish slang for hemorrhoid, combining the words for "almond" and "piranha"

Deus mio..Ai-yi-i-i-i...los almoranha es grande caliente mi cuolo.

by harry flashman July 9, 2003