37 definitions by h.s. willsy

Anything that can be penetrated with a penis, including:

vaginas, ani (anuses), mouths, tightly closed armpits, squeezed together breasts, holes in the walls of public toilets, wounds, empty eye sockets, flesh lights, nostrils, ear holes, pushed together feet, warm pies, ripe fruit, bin bags, two-week old corpses, animal cages and sauce bottle with the lids removed.

It should be noted that most of these are not reccomended in any way, shape or form.
"That girl had more penetrateables than a two-week dead pirate."
by h.s. willsy August 23, 2011
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A prevert is a person who pre-empts a pervert by doing to the pervert what they would have done to them, e.g. when a ballerina takes an illicit sniff of a foot fetishists loafer or when a child rapes a paedophile
"Mrs. Robinson? Mrs. Robinson? Hi, I'm sorry to have to tell you this but your son Billy molested me last night. Molested me badly."

"Oh my god! Billy did?"

"Yes I'm afraid so."

"Hey, wait a minute, aren't you that paedophile that just moved into the area?"

"Err...yeah...Frank's the name. But I didn't initiate anything, I swear to god."

"Oh that's just mummy's little prevert taking matters into his own hands. I mean, you would have done it to him wouldn't you? Wouldn't you pervert?"

"Yeah...yeah I suppose I would."

"You have to wake up pretty early in the morning to surprise my Billy!"
by h.s. willsy August 22, 2011
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A form of preversion. Involves inviting a group of foot fetishistists to a house in which shoes must be removed to gain entry. They'll all come assuming that they can sneak away at some point to have an illicit sniff of the shoes left by the door. However, what actually happens is you steal the shoes while they are in the other room and take them away for a horrible sniffing.
"Shoes?!? Where are the goddamn shoes?"

"You after the shoes too?"

"I was after the shoes, was everybody after the shoes?"

"Fuck! It's a funky trap!"

See preversions and prevert
by h.s. willsy August 23, 2011
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The act of using Urban Dictionary to impress the object of your desire by listing their first name with a definition that's somewhere along the lines of:

X is the most amazing girl in the world, she is really pretty and amazing and she was kind to an animal and when she smile it light up all of the world and she would make anyone fall in love with her because she is amazing and I am lucky to know her and I thank god every day for making such an amazing girl and hope please that she on love with me also.

Almost certainly doesn't get these dweebs the sex they think it will.
"Hey X, have a look at this what I have done for you."

"Err...are you UD wooing me you fucking mong?"

"...no?"

"Die. Die now. Kill yourself while I watch and eat these Doritos."

"Okay..."
by h.s. willsy August 24, 2011
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An alternative name for manatees, a.k.a. the speed bumps of the sea
"Ten points if you hit any sea bumps!"

"That's sick Ted."

"Yeah...I gues you're right...I've just not been the same since I got ill and turned that bunga bunga orgy into a scat fest...The horror. The horror."
by h.s. willsy August 23, 2011
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When semen is used for any purpose other than impregnating your lovely wife, it is more correctly known as depraviar

A combination of depravity and caviar (man seed)
"Leave it in honey, maybe we can make a baby?"

"Fuck that!"

"Jeez! You got it in my eye! Fuck, now it's just depraviar."
by h.s. willsy August 23, 2011
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When someone is wasted to the point that they are indiscriminately unloading their weapon on a busy street, they are Robert Downy Juniored
"The fuck's that noise?"

"It's this guy outside, he's Robert Downey Juniored!"

"It's Robert Downey Jr?" Ted asked, having misheard over the drunken gunfire. "I gotta go get his autograph!"

"No!" Billy screamed over the hail of gunfire that met his friend. "No!"
by h.s. willsy August 24, 2011
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