A vomit that restores you to an earlier save point of soberness
"I don't feel too bad now but I don't remember anything between here and the club."
"Yeah, you hit the drunk reset on the way back."
"Oh, that's good."
"Not really dude, you were french kissing your girlfriend's brother when it happened."
, not again."
A prevert is a person who pre-empts a pervert by doing to the pervert what they would have done to them, e.g. when a ballerina takes an illicit sniff of a foot fetishists loafer or when a child rapes a paedophile
"Mrs. Robinson? Mrs. Robinson? Hi, I'm sorry to have to tell you this but your son Billy molested me last night. Molested me badly."
"Oh my god! Billy did?"
"Yes I'm afraid so."
"Hey, wait a minute, aren't you that paedophile that just moved into the area?"
"Err...yeah...Frank's the name. But I didn't initiate anything, I swear to god."
"Oh that's just mummy's little prevert taking matters into his own hands. I mean, you would have done it to him wouldn't you? Wouldn't you pervert?"
"Yeah...yeah I suppose I would."
"You have to wake up pretty early in the morning to surprise my Billy!"
Sidling crab-like whilst simultaneously making a high pitched, "w00p w00p w00p w00p," noise.
"Did you see Zoidberg sand crabbing on Futurama last night?"
"No, I had to slay that dragon-witch didn't I."
"It's a dragon with the powers of a witch. Or it was anyway. Now it's just 18 tonnes of value to premium grade dog food."
A form of preversion.
When a wily sheep dog catches a pervert breaking in and molesting its flock, it may decide to teach the offender a lesson by giving them a brutal doggy raping. The way they do this is by setting up a fake sheep with a mouse trap inside its fake anus. Obviously, the mouse trap catches the perv with his pants down leaving them open to a terrible raping. Which they then get. Doggy style.
"Come here sheepy. AAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!"
"Oh no!!!! Shepherd's delight!"
A Prestonian word for old men who exist as soon as the pubs are open. They're usually identifiable by their brown, slouched appearance and the musk of cheap tobacco and piss. They may surround themselves with a ring of empty pint glasses as if they were under siege from reality.
"Those fettlers are dying out."
"There’s not any less of them, dying out is just their style."
1) To find oneself in a public toilet that is lacking a door lock, a toilet seat or a loo roll
2) Any situation in which poo becomes a visible nuisance
1) "Aww man. there's no toilet paper up in this smelly joint. What a shitemare."
"I've got paper for you buddy, in return for a little something something that is."
"Ted? Is that you?"
"It was always me Bill, it was always me."
2) The Indian Commonwealth Games
A form of preversion. Involves inviting a group of foot fetishistists to a house in which shoes must be removed to gain entry. They'll all come assuming that they can sneak away at some point to have an illicit sniff of the shoes left by the door. However, what actually happens is you steal the shoes while they are in the other room and take them away for a horrible sniffing.
"Shoes?!? Where are the goddamn shoes?"
"You after the shoes too?"
"I was after the shoes, was everybody after the shoes?"
"Fuck! It's a funky trap!"