6 definitions by gurgoob

Top Definition
when a woman who identifies as a lesbian on occasion likes to have sex with a man, but has no other feelings for him, he, or a certain body part of his, serves as her dykepike, for the duration of the...piking.
I love being with Susan, but every once in a while I need to go off and find me a dykepike for the night.

Gary? No she's not with him. She's gay, but she lets him be her dykepike sometimes
by gurgoob June 08, 2011
When you meet someone and at first think they're cool, but later learn (generally after having slept with them) that they are, in fact, a douchebag.
If you go to that bar alone in that dress, expect to be douchebagged.

Because we had some mutual friends, I thought he was a safe bet and went home with him, but when he didn't call after a week, I realized I'd been douchebagged.
by gurgoob January 09, 2012
More than just being celibate or asexual, one is zerogamous when one is celibate for reasons that make one feel like a loser. One is not zerogamous out of choice, and one is not happy about it.
Ever since my girlfriend went back to Spain, I've been so zerogamous I'm starting to forget how it works.

I'm pretty sure that if I don't start hitting the gym more often, I'm going to be zerogamous for the rest of my life.
by gurgoob December 22, 2011
Someone who is sexually attracted to people based on their level of hotness, as in how in shape they are, rather than the kind of genitals they have.
Well, generally I'm straight, but I'd much rather get down with a fit woman than a fat man, so I guess that makes me a hotosexual.

I used to be a hotosexual, but then decided that men really are idiots and I can't deal with it anymore.
by gurgoob January 15, 2012
1. A woman you are dating who wants to be monogamous.
2. A 'miss' when you attempt monogamy but screw it up.
1. -How's your monogamiss doing since you gave up other women?
-All good. She likes having a monogamister.

2. I told Kenny I'd stop seeing other guys, but then I did tequila shots all night and ended up having a monogamiss. Think I should tell him? I'll never have another monogamiss...as long as I stop drinking tequila.
by gurgoob September 20, 2012
A man who insists that his lover become monogamous with him.
I had a great time with Ralph, but when he got all monogamister on me, I had to explain that monogamy isn't really my thing. I can't help it; I'm just not a monogamiss.
by gurgoob January 09, 2012
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