gateskeeper's definitions

bing

1) A verb indicating the action of flicking the clitoris bulb with one finger, or the head of the penis, so that a snapping motion is made.

2) The single nugget of poo that is shot out like rabbit pellets.

3) The north side of a fruit tree.

1) While we watched "Law and Order," I tended to bing Wendy's nub, almost absentmindedly, until I noticed she had her head thrown back and I heard her husky breathing.

2) The satisfying release of each bing was like the plucking of harp strings by angels.

3) "Mark ye randy traveler

The path both mist and dank

to shall pass the bing of Apple branch

before ye taste the stank."

by gateskeeper May 28, 2009

i-whore

person who buys anything that falls out of Steve Jobs ass. Probably had i-phone first day of release.

When Jessica was younger, she was a vivacious free-thinker. But the disappointments of life crushed her soul until she was reduced to little more than an itinerant i-whore, with a live feed to the the Apple Conference Center on I-TV, 24/7. It was easier this way.

by Gateskeeper January 22, 2008

iPod Envy

The feeling one experiences when one sees others canoodling and chuckling amiably amongst themselves, or sharing anything warm and intimate, while the person feeling this horrible feeling is trapped, alone and lonely, in the desolate atmosphere spun around them from the little block of hardware in their hand.

Miguel saw the young people laughing and teasing one another on the E train, and felt the suffocating rush of iPod envy. He turned up the volume on his Nano, but it only served to deepen his despair.

by gateskeeper January 24, 2008

iwhore

cultish person who waits at Steve Jobs sacred rear portal for fecal manna to fall, so he or she may purchase the item before it hits the floor. Mass e-mailings from apple directly stimulate this person's ispot.

Jamie enjoyed listening to Apple press conferences with her credit card between her legs. She was an unapologetic iwhore, even though it had cost her friends and family. See i-whore

by gateskeeper January 24, 2008

ispot

Pleasurable nexus of nerve endings stimulated only by purchasing things from Apple, inc. Able to receive instant bluetooth stimulation from Steve Jobs. Paralyzes critical thought centers in the brain.

Sarah could not speak as she opened the sleek packaging for her Macbook Air. She simply placed it on top of the various ipods, iphones, previous ibooks, imacs,mac minis, and her ol 7100. Then she sat back and let the device go to work on her ispot. She hadn't eaten in weeks, and a stale dead oder arose from her lower region.

by gateskeeper January 24, 2008

inus

the headphone jack on apple products

Brad was putting his downloads into Janet's Nano, when he missed the data port and accidentally put the plug into her inus. Janet didn't even flinch, and Brad knew he had found a keeper.

by gateskeeper January 25, 2008

iRiot

The emotional arc that begins with rage against the status quo, global warming, human trafficking, man's inhumanity to man, political corruption, The elimination of Gene Simmons from the Apprentice, etc, and ends with listlessly leaning back in your chair and turning up your Ipod.

MI5 was able to construct a time machine and hatched a plan to prevent the decline of the British Empire. Fully loaded solar powered Nanos would be sent back to Philadelphia in 1773, to New Delhi in 1902, to Dublin in 1910, and to Quebec and Sydney in 1860. Quebec and Sydney were dropped from the plan a few moments later, as no one in the room could think of a reason why they should bother. see also iRiot prevention

by gateskeeper January 25, 2008