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10 definitions by gateskeeper

 
1.
The feeling one experiences when one sees others canoodling and chuckling amiably amongst themselves, or sharing anything warm and intimate, while the person feeling this horrible feeling is trapped, alone and lonely, in the desolate atmosphere spun around them from the little block of hardware in their hand.
Miguel saw the young people laughing and teasing one another on the E train, and felt the suffocating rush of iPod envy. He turned up the volume on his Nano, but it only served to deepen his despair.
by gateskeeper January 24, 2008
 
2.
cultish person who waits at Steve Jobs sacred rear portal for fecal manna to fall, so he or she may purchase the item before it hits the floor. Mass e-mailings from apple directly stimulate this person's ispot.
Jamie enjoyed listening to Apple press conferences with her credit card between her legs. She was an unapologetic iwhore, even though it had cost her friends and family. See i-whore
by gateskeeper January 24, 2008
 
3.
Pleasurable nexus of nerve endings stimulated only by purchasing things from Apple, inc. Able to receive instant bluetooth stimulation from Steve Jobs. Paralyzes critical thought centers in the brain.
Sarah could not speak as she opened the sleek packaging for her Macbook Air. She simply placed it on top of the various ipods, iphones, previous ibooks, imacs,mac minis, and her ol 7100. Then she sat back and let the device go to work on her ispot. She hadn't eaten in weeks, and a stale dead oder arose from her lower region.
by gateskeeper January 24, 2008
 
4.
the headphone jack on apple products
Brad was putting his downloads into Janet's Nano, when he missed the data port and accidentally put the plug into her inus. Janet didn't even flinch, and Brad knew he had found a keeper.
by gateskeeper January 25, 2008
 
5.
person who buys anything that falls out of Steve Jobs ass. Probably had i-phone first day of release.
When Jessica was younger, she was a vivacious free-thinker. But the disappointments of life crushed her soul until she was reduced to little more than an itinerant i-whore, with a live feed to the the Apple Conference Center on I-TV, 24/7. It was easier this way.
by Gateskeeper January 22, 2008
 
6.
iDo
What all members of the Apple cult must say when they buy their 4th apple product. This effectively marries them to Steve Jobs, be they male or female. Look around. Everyone on their 3rd iPod is actually engaged to Steve Jobs, the iPhone is actually a wedding present. Don't you wonder how the marriage is consummated?
When he checked my profile at the Apple Store, the Mac Concierge walked me down the Aisle and gave me away. I felt warm flush spread all the way to my iNus when I heard myself say "iDo!" The Specialist lowered tried to raise the veil but it got caught on my razor stubble. I didn't mind. I blushed like a schoolgirl.
by gateskeeper January 25, 2008
 
7.
The strength that comes from frequent use of apple products. iMight is 60 % of regular might, much the same as the moon's gravity is to the earth's.
I tried to lift a regular sized laptop after using my macbook air for 3 months, but I was unable to. I had the iMight of a flea.
by gateskeeper January 25, 2008