Awesome dude who lived in Italy a loong time ago. His best known book is "The Prince", which contains political tips for rulers. Some of his ideas from this book (and maybe a few from "The Discourses") as far as I can remember:
-The Prince must be ruthless.
-Effectiveness > good/bad.
-Power should be acquired, not hereditary.
-People are moral because others are watching. Political morality is lying and killing. Politicians must learn how NOT to be good.
-Be feared; cruelty is a part of the state. But remember that the best fortress that exists is to avoid being hated by the people. Three ways to avoid being hated: Don't be erratic. Don't be a coward, FIGHT. And don't do anything for no reason.
-Concept of seeming vs being: The Prince, while seeming human, must learn how to be a beast. Like a fox (cunning and tricky) or a lion (powerful).
-And my personal favorite, he talks about these two dudes named Agathocles the Sicilian and Oliverotto of Fermo who both held meetings/banquets with leaders and important people and killed them all and took over as ruler. Point is, the elite can be killed, they're not important. The people are important.
-Choose the people around you wisely. Ass kissers prevent you from seeing the truth cause they're always like "yes, you're awesome" to everything.
-For a strong society, you must assume that everyone has the potential to be evil and make laws accordingly. People act good only when forced, laws exist where desire is.
Lindsay Lohan was once photographed walking around with a copy of Machiavelli's book. True story.
H2O (or HOH) is the most abundant molecule on the surface of the earth. At room temperature it is a nearly colorless, tasteless, and odorless liquid. Boils at 100°C, freezes at 0°C. You should drink at least 8 glasses of it a day.
The Temperance Movement took a toll on the production and quality of american beer.
Myspace celebrity. Unlike other Myspace celebrities, she actually has a life. Known for her unphotoshopped pictures, sick make up, brutally honest blogs, random bulletins and shaving off her eyebrows. Likes things such as the Beatles, MAC Cosmetics, cute girls, taking showers, vegetarianism, cute guys, her sister, and Jesus. She is better than you, and that's a fact.
"Yo that Amanda Autopsy is a cool chick. I hope she replies to my comment."
Rationalist philosopher dude who lived a long time ago.
He basically said that substance is god, or nature, and that every existing thing is one. That kinda made Christian Europe mad and they actually started using the word "Spinozist" as almost a swear word for "atheist".
Then there was this huge intellectual controversy when Jacobi and Mendelssohn were both writing a book about Lessing, who had just died, and they started exchanging letters about it and things got kinda heated when Jacobi took things a little too seriously and competed to have his book printed first. Mendelssohn didn't get as aggresive as Jacobi, but the poor dude ended up dead when he caught a cold trying to send in his manuscript.
Anyway, the reason why this caused so much controversy was because Jacobi claimed that Lessing admitted to being a spinozist and Mendelssohn was friends with Lessing so everyone was like omg no way cause Mendelssohn was a leader of the Berlin Enlightenment and the starter of modern Judaism and being called an atheist or pantheist wasn't exactly a good thing back then.
Long story short, Jacobi's book got printed, in which he actually criticized Spinoza saying that yeah, Spinoza may be right in his ideas but reason leads to atheism and denial of free will so we should have faith. Or something like that. Bu interestingly enough, this criticism restarted an interest in Spinoza. And here we are today, still talking about the dude.
"Oh not much. Just writing a paper on Jacobi and Spinoza for my philosophy class."
"Wait, why are you even taking philosophy?"
"So I can show off my mad knowledge on random websites."