108 definitions by frank klaune
Damn, Frank got so fucked up the other night he had to deliver street pizza on his girlfriend's bird bath. Now the birds don't come by anymore. Frank is such an imbecile!
by frank klaune June 24, 2006
Damn, Frank drank the rest of that fifth of Jim Beam. By the end of the afternoon, he was super glued!
by frank klaune April 23, 2005
An oxymoron. Very simply stated.
by frank klaune August 8, 2005
A small-town, provincial putz of a policeman. The name represents "Barney Fife", the bumbling, inept deputy sherfiff from the "Andy Griffith Show." The typical small-town Barney is a doughnut-chomping fat bastard whose only purpose is to write as many speeding tickets and seat belt "safety" violations to out-of-town licence plated cars as humanly possible. This daily pattern continues until the barney has padded his resume sufficiently to move on to a real job far from the provincial putzville which was his first job for a couple of years. The outrageous pattern of excessive ticket-writing also works in the favor of the inbred, corrupt, fuck-headed town officials who reap an obscene profit from the fine largesse. This, in turn, self justifies the continuance of the salary for the Barney. This pattern is particularly effective in towns which are so ridiculously quiet and small that an actual "law enforcement officer" has no substantive reason to be on the public payroll. The next time you are pulled over in some backward Hooterville for driving 4 MPH over the posted limit, remember where your fine money is going.
by frank klaune April 25, 2005
Humorous euphemism used to explain the (how shall we say this nicely...) ritualistic non-surgical dislocation of the head from the torso. It's becoming a useful term when attempting to relate to the antics of certain deranged individuals in the mideast who are mired in 9th century mentality.
(person 1)"Did you hear about those hostages in Iraq? Can you believe they..."
(person 2 interrupts) "..yeah I heard... they got the islamic Haircut."
(person 1 shaking head in disbelief)"I thought that was the great peaceful religion...."
(person 2 interrupts) "..yeah I heard... they got the islamic Haircut."
(person 1 shaking head in disbelief)"I thought that was the great peaceful religion...."
by frank klaune July 8, 2006
Term pertaining to the deleterious effect of the sweat from your nut sack upon surrounding tissue and material. Nut rot causes your underwear to prematurely fail in the crotch area immediately beside where your sack rides. Nut rot becomes visible as a tan or brown stain in the area where your crotch is on the inside of the underwear. Next, the seam and the stretchy elastic gives way and eventually the entire crotch area of the underwear gives out and your nuts hang out from beneath your underwear in the area where the underwear material used to be. Nut rot also affects the skin of the crotch in cases where a person uses poor hygiene and / or lack of bathing or showering. See crotch rot.
Damn, when Frank was on the campout, his nards hung out of his skivvies. He must have major nut rot in his tighty whities.
by frank klaune April 23, 2005
Plugging one nostril by placing the index finger on it while blowing out the other one in order to discharge nasal mucus on the ground. The "farmer snort" is a quick, efficient way to blow your nose. Unfortunately, it's also a quick, efficient way to guarantee you won't get a second date either.
Damn, Frank was pretty glued when he was at Mike's house. First he farted out loud, then he did a farmer snort on the living room carpet. Mike dial toned him on the spot.
by frank klaune May 2, 2005