flatster's definitions

turf out

Excrete, empty one's bowels. The act of getting rid of last night's over-indulgence in curry and copious amounts of Newcastle Brown Ale. Dog's also turf out regularly, for no other reason other than to turf out in general... and pound for pound their's is bigger.

"You look relieved. Wassup?"
"Mate, I had a turf out this morning..."
"Big night?"
"Chicken tikka chilli balti phal and 12 pints of Newky"

by Flatster October 28, 2005

furry oyster

The female pubic hair region that vaguely resembles an oyster shape.

"Did she get her kit off, then?"
"Yeah! And good christ - she had some furry oyster on her!"

by Flatster October 28, 2005

carpet kaleidoscope

The puddle of vomit on the floor. Typically indoors hence the "carpet" prefix.

Show's evidence of one's last meal and therefore consists of many colours. Hence, "kaleidoscope".

Strangely, all spew consists of carrot's and tomato skins regardless of what one has eaten.

"I feel sick..."
"Don't you being doing no carpet kaleidoscope in my house!"
***barf***"
"eeeuuuwww duuuuude!"

by Flatster October 28, 2005

war face

Wide-eyed, adrenalin-filled psycho grimace on one's face as you charge in to battle/a fight/game of chicken. Exemplified by "Full Metal Jacket".

HARTMAN
Let me see your war face!

JOKER
Sir?

HARTMAN
You've got a war face? Aaaaaaaagh! That's a war face. Now let me see your war face!

JOKER
Aaaaaaaagh!

HARTMAN
Bullshit! You didn't convince me! Let me see your real war face!

JOKER
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

HARTMAN
You didn't scare me! Work on it!

by Flatster May 18, 2006

sarbanes oxley (SOx)

1) An industry created from nothing that creates nothing.
2) Sarbanes Oxley is also a swear word.
3) Something to hide behind when you need introduce bureaucracy to the nth degree.

SOX dweeb: Do have everything under control?
Office bloke: Yes
SOX dweeb: Can I see the documentary evidence?
Office bloke: We don't keep hard copy
SOX dweeb (smugly): The you have failed your control and I must report you to the highest possible echelon within the organisation who will inform of your failure and sack you. Sarbanes Oxley (SOx) is the alpha and the omega.
Office bloke: So fucking what? DIE!

/bang

SOX dweeb dies in a pool of it's own blood. Much rejoicing ensues.

by flatster October 24, 2006

fact

The distance between the anus and the vagina.

Example: hold up your left hand and make a "C" shape with your thumb and index finger.

That's the distance you're looking for.

A FACT: The distance between a fuck hole and a muck hole and if you miss yer inna shit 'n thassa FACT.

by flatster December 28, 2005

drood

A character in the Everquest MMORPG's. This is not a definable character type but rather one who exhibit's certain traits. For example: being a moron, having spell's that other characters would find useful but charging exhorbitantly for, inability to speak in English - can only speak l33tspeak, cannot spell, shits pizza and red bull, doesn't know how to play the game, think's he's l33t (strangely, only male's aspire to being a drood) and probably has a face like a meeting of the worlds worst acne.

In other words, the annoying prick in the game that spoils the enjoyment of others.

Player 1: /ooc Could someone please direct me to Fippy's hill?"
Drood: /shout n00b! u suxx its east out over TS!! no00b!
Player 1: /ooc Um...
/drood: /shout LOLOLO! /d me i r0ck00z
Player 1: Sorry?
/drood: /shout /d me n00b
Player 1: /quit

by Flatster October 28, 2005