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flatster's definitions

auditor

The 21st century Gestapo. Will love you long time whilst going through your work to make sure everything is on the up-and-up but then will stab you in the back with an electrified letter-opener.

Scum of the office-world. The little prick who can hide behind company policy and get a hard-on when they find the dot above your "i" was 2 microns bigger than your company would like it to be
Auditor: "So pleased to be working with you! Could I see your ledger please?"

Worker: "No, fuck off you back stabbing, pedantic shit-stirrer. Come near me and I'll strangle you with your shoe laces".
by flatster December 16, 2008
mugGet the auditormug.

war face

Wide-eyed, adrenalin-filled psycho grimace on one's face as you charge in to battle/a fight/game of chicken. Exemplified by "Full Metal Jacket".
HARTMAN
Let me see your war face!

JOKER
Sir?

HARTMAN
You've got a war face? Aaaaaaaagh! That's a war face. Now let me see your war face!

JOKER
Aaaaaaaagh!

HARTMAN
Bullshit! You didn't convince me! Let me see your real war face!

JOKER
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

HARTMAN
You didn't scare me! Work on it!
by Flatster May 18, 2006
mugGet the war facemug.

pea soup

Extremely thick smog, characterised by early black-and-white films set in between-the-war-and-just-after settings.

Cue: really bad cockney accent...
Cockney chap: Cor blimey, guv! I carn eevin see me face in this!
Cheeky chappy: Nah! S' a right pea souper n' no mistake!
by Flatster November 18, 2005
mugGet the pea soupmug.

speedball

Speedball was one of the greatest games on the Commodore Amiga computer (and ST but let's not talk about that POS - spit).

Written by the Bitmap Brothers and published in 1991, it combined elements of the film "Rollerball" and... a computer game. Extreme violence coupled with super-smooth graphics and crunching sound ensured a two-player contest between you and your best mate ended up in fisticuffs.

A sequel was written, Speedball 2, which captured all of the elements of the first game but introduced eight-way scrolling, extra ways to gain points and even more violence.

Luvverly.
You: "Oi! Twat! Wanna game o' Speedball?"
Best Mate: "Ya! I'll fuckin' cream ya!"
You: "You reckon?"

5 minutes later

You: "Fuckin; cheat!"
Best Mate: "Bollocks! My joystick is better!"
You: "Mine got stuck! Cunt!"
by Flatster May 24, 2006
mugGet the speedballmug.

furry oyster

The female pubic hair region that vaguely resembles an oyster shape.
"Did she get her kit off, then?"
"Yeah! And good christ - she had some furry oyster on her!"
by Flatster October 28, 2005
mugGet the furry oystermug.

turf out

Excrete, empty one's bowels. The act of getting rid of last night's over-indulgence in curry and copious amounts of Newcastle Brown Ale. Dog's also turf out regularly, for no other reason other than to turf out in general... and pound for pound their's is bigger.
"You look relieved. Wassup?"
"Mate, I had a turf out this morning..."
"Big night?"
"Chicken tikka chilli balti phal and 12 pints of Newky"
by Flatster October 28, 2005
mugGet the turf outmug.

Chin pistons

Arms and fists when used in a fighting sense, particularly when landing a felling blow upon the opponents chin.
1: Did ya beat 'im up den?
2: Yer! Oi leddim 'ave wi' me chin pistons dinnai?
by Flatster October 27, 2005
mugGet the Chin pistonsmug.

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