flashwildecard's definitions

Sick Day

A day when you go to work sick because you can't afford not to or because no one else can cover for you.

Ugh, I feel like hell.

You should stay home.

Can't afford it. Looks like I'll be working a Sick Day tommorrow.

by flashwildecard December 17, 2012

Transpant

To transplant the items in one pair of pants (keys, wallet, change, belt, etc.) to a new pair of pants.

1. Damn! I've got mustard on these pants time for a Transpant.

2. Shit, where are my keys? Don't tell me I forgot to Transpant.

by flashwildecard May 8, 2011

First On My Wrist

From the act of making notes in pen on ones wrist, arm, or other body parts.

Yep, got it first on my wrist.

by flashwildecard June 7, 2011

shit-douche

1. A terrible image to be used in place of a worse one.

2. A placeholder to be used rather than the actual name of a person you do not want to identify.

Used both to insult, and to prevent the target from gaining attention or free publicity.

1. From now on instead of saying the name of a terrorist or mass shooter we will refer to them as some shit-douche.

2. President-Elect Shit-Douche and President Shit-Douche of Russia met today to discuss how best to destroy the world.

3. Publisher Simon and Schuster has decided to give some shit-douche a book deal.

4. The year in which this was coined was a total shit-douche.

by flashwildecard December 31, 2016

Perv Shaming

Like Slut Shaming, except this is the act of shaming someone for being a pervert.

Essentially trying to force your version of what is acceptable sexual behavior on someone else.

1.

So she took a shit right on your chest? Gross.

Enough with the Perv Shaming.

2.

Whoa, you mean to tell me there are naked pictures of Jennifer Lawrence but you expect us not to look at them because they're a 'gross invasion of her privacy' ? Dude, that's Perv Shaming.

3.

Hath not a Pervert hands,
organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same
food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases,
heal'd by the same means, warm'd and cool'd by the same winter
and summer, as a puritan is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If
you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die?
And if you wrong us, do we not revenge?

Thou art engaged in the act of Perv Shaming!

From "The Merchant of Dick Pics"

by flashwildecard September 1, 2014

reader's remorse

When you read a series too fast and realize you'll have to wait several years for the next part.

"Why did I read all of George R. R. Martin's books at once? Why didn't I pace myself?"
"Ah my friend, you've got a case of Reader's Remorse."

by flashwildecard August 24, 2016

internet default

Internet Default is when you have to assume everyone on the Internet is an idiot because of past experience.

This can lead to mistaking sarcasm for factual statements.

I don't sweat because I use deodorant.

That's not how deodorant works.

I was being sarcastic.

Sorry, I'm running Internet Default.

by flashwildecard October 27, 2019