6 definitions by emkay1

Joom

After yorkums took Jonny from Jack, he was filled with great grief and anger. He felt a great hatred for yorkums and sought to defeat it and find a way to revive Jonny. On one of his many journeys, he found himself before the great Filler God who offered him the chance to resurrect Jonny...but at a price. The Filler God forged a Forever Contract and had Jack sign it in blood. Jack, ignorantly, signed the contract without questioning the deity. The Filler God then revealed that it was all a ruse and that he had no intention of reviving Jonny at all. Instead, he intended to take Jack out of the picture for some unrevealed reason. Jack, desperately, asked the Filler God to show him mercy. The Filler God, in some sick, demented form of pity, turned Jack into a computer science teacher and forced him to teach high school students under the name Joom.

Jack: "Please show me mercy oh great Filler God!"
Filler God: "The only mercy you shall see is as the Joom."

by emkay1 April 24, 2021

yorkums

A demonic spell which summons a dog which has a demon sealed within it. To perform the spell, one must chant "yorkums" three times in front of a bathroom mirror, then flush the toilet in that same bathroom. After 5 seconds a small dog will appear in the room. What happens after is up to you to figure out.

Danny: Yo did you hear, Jonny performed the yorkums!
Jack: No way! No wonder he hasn't been at school for a week.

by emkay1 January 24, 2021

Forever Contract

An infinitely long contract that is thought to be 99.9% filler. The contract can only be written by the all-powerful deity known as the Filler God.

Filler God: "If you want me to resurrect Jonny, you must sign my Forever Contract with your blood."
Jack: "Yes! Sure! Anything to revive Jonny!"

by emkay1 April 24, 2021

Bic Velocity

A tool utilized by the Filler God for many of their greatest creations. It was used to write the Fate of the Universe, a scripture which would determine how the universe begins and ends. It is still in use by the Filler God to write Forever Contracts, a document that can grant great power to lowly mortals, but can take away so much more. The true form of the Bic Velocity is still largely unknown, however it is speculated that it is the same color as a tangerine.

Filler God: "What is that in your pocket?"
Jack: "Oh, that's just my BIC® Velocity Mechanical Pencil with 0.7mm le-"
Filler God: "BLASPHEMY! THERE IS ONLY ONE BIC VELOCITY. ALL OTHERS WILL BE ERASED BY YORKUMS."

by emkay1 November 7, 2021

smukroy

Smukroy was created after a failed project that was intended to replicate the powers of yorkums without the consequences. The project was shut down after 7 years in development as more and more of the people involved realized that the power of yorkums could never be replicated. However, before they were able to fully dispose of all experimental substances, an accident caused the creation of smukroy, now a botched clone of yorkums. Many of those who have witnessed the being have said that it is able to transform into any living thing. To this day, no one knows the true form of smukroy.

Jack: Maybe if we contact the smukroy we can have Jonny be reviv-
Danny: NO! The smukroy has taken too much from me. It can not be trusted.

by emkay1 January 29, 2021

Kiss and Tight

The chant of the Filler God. It is said that any who hear the Filler God recite those words, shall forever lose their sanity and become eternal slaves to the Filler God.

Jack: "I'M SORRY SIR, I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE BIC VELOCITY."
Filler God: "You have betrayed me lad, and now you must pay for it."
Jack: "NO, PLEASE SPARE ME."
Filler God: "Kiss and Tight."
Jack: "AHHHHHHHHHHH"

by emkay1 December 31, 2022