7 definitions by earlsgarage

1. noun - A hypothetical person who is always a bit cooler than everyone, has more stuff than you, is better in every way.

2. verb - Doing something a little beer than someone else, or buying a better version of something.
"Schmitty has one of those."
"She's not as hot as Schmitty's girlfriend."
"The world record is 23 chicken legs, but Schmitty ate 24."
"Schmitty's car is a little faster."

"I bought a new tv that's an inch bigger than yours. I schmitty'd you."
"Everytime I get something new for my boat, Joe has to go and buy something a little bit better just to schmitty me."
by earlsgarage April 26, 2006
1. noun - A human being that has such extraordinary goblin like qualities that the term 'goblin' alone doesn't do it justice. Hob goblins are just a tad creepier than your basic goblin, they tend to have a little stronger hitch in their getalong, a little stronger smell, etc. There's probably some perfectly natural explanation for the rampant existence of these types- poor nutrition, bad hygeine, and bad breeding in the first place.
"Have you seen that hob-goblin lookin' mother fucker that works at the sports bar? Hopefully he's not the one that makes the popcorn."
by earlsgarage April 26, 2006
Another word for semen. Used especially when you want to remind a civilized gentleman of the possibility of fatherhood that always lingers whenever you haphazardly spread your seed around.
Any girl who takes a shower sandwich with those two guys is gonna end up with fatherin' sauce all over her body.
by earlsgarage April 26, 2006
A breakfast eater is someone who has a stable life and actually has their shit together. So much together in fact, that it is actually quite annoying to the rest of us who don't have their lives in order. Breakfast eaters are driving erratically in your community right now and probably most Sunday mornings as well.
1. The breakfast eaters buy up all the good shit at the garage sales before I even get out of bed.
2. "Sorry I'm late, some BREAKFAST EATER was driving 45mph on the highway."
3. My lawn is fine, but looks like shit compared to all my breakfast eating neighbors with their fancy lawn vacs and hired lawn-care guys.
by earlsgarage November 02, 2008
Low down dirty slang term for a woman.
The boy's night out was fun until those panty soilers kept begging us to buy them drinks.
by earlsgarage August 13, 2005
Lots of uses:
1. verb - dance like an idiot.
2. verb - to eat or drink at a rapid pace
3. verb - to fuck somebody
4. verb - to dismantle a Hercumer Battle Jitney or anything for that matter.
5. Make up your own!
1. The crowd really junks it down when we play the fast songs.
2. Man, Buckley sure can junk down a bowl of oatmeal!
3. Did Drew and that one bitch junk it down last night?
4. Mr. Furious: "Actually, that jeep, it's some sort of armored vehicle."
— OLD LADY: " I said JUNK IT!"
by earlsgarage March 03, 2006
The small bits of food left over on the plate, or the bottom of the frying pan, inside the toaster, etc., which normal people don't eat without a little peer pressure.
1. "Here buddy, eat these leavins so we can make another batch."

2. "You have to eat all the leavins if you want to get the free t-shirt."

3. I didn't even know my toaster had a cleanout flap, so when I finally discovered it there were enough leavins in there to make a whole meal. But I wisely chose to leave them leavins in there, so the years of flavors come out in each and every thing we toast.
by earlsgarage November 02, 2008

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