duckbutt's definitions

douchebag index

The douchebag index (DBI) is a statistic that yields the number of days since a person last bathed. It is found by multiplying the number of visible tattoos (VT) by the number of missing teeth (MT).

DBI = VT X MT

This dude's douchebag index is 27, meaning that he hasn't bathed in about four weeks. He has nine gross tattoos and three missing teeth.

by Duckbutt January 9, 2008

candyass

An ineffectual person; someone who is afraid of risk or shrinks from conflict.

Only a candyass drinks lite beer; heroes specify Guinness!

by Duckbutt November 9, 2004

uninstalled

A slang synonym for getting fired.

Wally had second thoughts about his making out with the boss's secretary/mistress in the copy room after he was uninstalled from the Ripoff Systems Analysis Corporation.

by Duckbutt October 1, 2005

Nine F-er

A medical slang expression to refer to the typical gallbladder patient: Fat, fortyish, fecund, flatulent female with foul, foaming, floating feces.

Marge was your typical nine F-er: gallbladder problem likely.

by Duckbutt September 18, 2005

airborne coitus

Periphrastic speech for flying fuck, usually preceded by "I don't give a . . . . ".

I don't give an airborne coitus what Massachuetts senators think!

by Duckbutt November 20, 2005

Beta dog dance

An occasion where non-alpha males attempt to act more dominant than they are.

Jack's assessment of the Fraternal Order of Fowls meeting: a beta dog dance for middle management aspirants.

by Duckbutt December 27, 2003

screw the pooch

This expression means to make a catastrophic error or failure.

Watch him screw the pooch at the last minute and the deal fall through.

by Duckbutt January 29, 2006