dr. badwrench's definitions

redneck engineering

The use of unorthodox methods and tools to build, modify or repair machinery, vehicles, etc, usually with little regard to finesse or technique.

Common tools include: sledgehammers, cutting torches, arc welders, come-alongs, jacks, porta-power kits, large prybars, sawzalls, lengths of pipe and 2 X 4s

So named for the stereotypical redneck who fixes things through brute force and duct tape.

The popular TV shows Monster Garage and Junkyard Wars often feature great masterpieces of redneck engineering

by Dr. Badwrench September 22, 2006

shit shark

a person employed to pump out and clean septic tanks or portable toilets

I can't believe Joe makes $22 an hour. He's a fuckin' shit shark.

Union job, dude.

by Dr. Badwrench September 22, 2006

preload

To drink at home before going to the game, concert, bar, party, wedding, etc. where the drinks will either be expensive, crappy, or non-existent. To get buzzed, or even drunk, before going out.

Beers are $6 at the game, so let's preload.
I preloaded before the wedding. The church doesn't allow alcohol.

by Dr. Badwrench April 5, 2008

Captain of the Carpet Ship

A title bestowed upon one who is drunk and passed out on the floor, like they are piloting the carpet.

Shit, man! You were Captain of the Carpet Ship last night.

by Dr. Badwrench September 22, 2006

pickled Jesus candles

Those tall jar candles with the bizarre, often gruesome, Catholic iconography on the outside of the jar. Usually found at Mexican markets, religious gift stores, and the ethnic food section at the supermarket.

Shop 'n' Rob in Bay Point has a great selection of pickled Jesus candles.

No, I'm not Catholic, I just like pickled Jesus candles.

by Dr. Badwrench July 12, 2007

Murphy scam

A robbery scam where a woman poses as a prostitute and lures the john/mark into a room. When they are in bed, the woman's male partner rushes in, usually brandishing a gun and posing as a jealous husband or jilted lover. The mark leaves in a hurry, without his clothes or valuables. The perpetrators, or "Murphy artists" collect their loot and escape.

A similar version was used in the movie Porky's as a prank involving a black guy with a machete, chasing the naked crew into the woods.

New Orleans used to be the capital of the Murphy scam.

by Dr. Badwrench February 22, 2008

goofer dust

Graveyard dirt, a powerful ingredient in hoodoo conjures, charms and mojo.

If you want someone to go away, sprinkle goofer dust in their footprints

by Dr. Badwrench June 27, 2006