dr. badwrench's definitions

Captain of the Carpet Ship

A title bestowed upon one who is drunk and passed out on the floor, like they are piloting the carpet.

Shit, man! You were Captain of the Carpet Ship last night.

by Dr. Badwrench September 22, 2006

pickled Jesus candles

Those tall jar candles with the bizarre, often gruesome, Catholic iconography on the outside of the jar. Usually found at Mexican markets, religious gift stores, and the ethnic food section at the supermarket.

Shop 'n' Rob in Bay Point has a great selection of pickled Jesus candles.

No, I'm not Catholic, I just like pickled Jesus candles.

by Dr. Badwrench July 12, 2007

scar merchant

An amateur tattooist or "professional" of bad reputation and low-quality (and low priced) work. Usually an amateur or "a friend who works out of their house", scar merchants, or scratchers are unschooled, unsanitary and generally a big mistake. Going to one is literally buying a scar.

Dude, fuck that guy! Billy Bob is a scar merchant. Go to Tattoo City on Lombard for good work.

by Dr. Badwrench November 8, 2007

franistan

A fictitious or unknown auto part.

Well, your franistan housing is cracked. We're looking at about $1500 total, parts and labor.

by Dr. Badwrench July 14, 2007

Bronson rock

Any object, such as a rock, stick, shoe or butterknife used as an emergency or field-expedient tool. From the old TV series "Then Came Bronson" when Bronson (Michael Parks) uses a rock to pound dents out of his bike's fender and gas tank.

That guy can fix anything with a Bronson rock and a smokewrench

by Dr. Badwrench October 29, 2008

Murphy scam

A robbery scam where a woman poses as a prostitute and lures the john/mark into a room. When they are in bed, the woman's male partner rushes in, usually brandishing a gun and posing as a jealous husband or jilted lover. The mark leaves in a hurry, without his clothes or valuables. The perpetrators, or "Murphy artists" collect their loot and escape.

A similar version was used in the movie Porky's as a prank involving a black guy with a machete, chasing the naked crew into the woods.

New Orleans used to be the capital of the Murphy scam.

by Dr. Badwrench February 22, 2008

wooden music

Acoustic music, from the largely wood instruments such as acoustic guitars and basses, banjos, fiddles, dobros, etc.

Acoustic Sunrise on KFOG plays a lot of great wooden music.

by Dr. Badwrench March 29, 2008