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26 definitions by do I have to put something here?

 
1.
Technically, an American is someone from the Americas - i.e. North or South America. However, it is so commonly referring to people from the USA that we'll just ignore that point for now.

An American is someone who lives in the USA. Not all americans are overweight, ignorant pricks with an addiction to burgers and flag waving. Some of them are actually friendly, intelligent people!

Remember, kids: just because meet or hear one person from a certain place doesn't mean that everyone from there is like it. Oh, and did I mention that the actions of the US government don't ALWAYS speak unanimously for every last citizen of the USA? Just wanted to clear that up.

They do think some wierd things, though.. They call football soccer, American football football, aluminium aloominum, jam jelly and so on. But belittling them for differences like that would be a bit petty of me, wouldn't it?
While playing a game, I once met an American who was a mindless, stereotyping, bigoted, ignorant prick. But did that make me hate all Americans? Well, yes. But eventually I got over it. I would like to find that guy and cave his skull in, though..
 
2.
Archaic swearword originating in England, originating from the even more archaic phrase 'By God's blood', but nobody really knows that or cares. DOESN'T mean 'fucking' you screwheads.. We use that word too!
"Bloody buggering hell!!"

- Rimmer from Red Dwarf

Why the hell is this 'example too short?' I swear, if this one doesn't work, I am going to track down those urbandictionary guys and use their spines as glockenspiels
 
3.
The ironic way to spell moron.
"Get a brain! Morans"
 
4.
The quality or condition of judging someone or a group of people before you meet them, usually using stereotypes.
"The secret is to say that you're prejudiced against all rascists"

- Homer Simpson
 
5.
Someone who posts the name of people only they know on urbandictionary.
"Im gonna make a definition about some guy I know even though nobody knows or cares.. God, I'm an imbecile"
 
6.
N. A very common and largely ignored affliction. Approximately 97% of all people suffer from it. They can be split into two fairly equal halves: Democrats and Republicans.
"Stupidity rules this world by sheer force of numbers"
 
7.
The funniest thing on TV, about three priests living on a remote island off the coast of Ireland. Who cares whether it's technically Irish or British? It's still fantastic.

Father Ted is the central character. He is often very dishonest, making up lies to get out of trouble almost every episode. He is desperate to work in the US or/and go on TV.

"I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do. Whereas priests... ...More drink?"

Father Dougal is a very dimwitted young priest, who often forgets that he is a priest. He is guilty of the following acts: convincing a bishop to become an atheist, causing fires and explosions while doing a funeral, and generally being an eejit.

"God, I've never seen a clock at 5 a.m. before!"

"I'm no good at judging the size of crowds Ted, but I'd say there's about seventeen million of them out there"

Father Jack is an ignorant, violent, bigoted old alcoholic who enjoys sleeping, throwing stuff at the TV, and physically abusing his fellow priests. He only generally knows four words: FECK, ARSE, DRINK and GIRLS. He has a great fear for nuns. Possible paedophile.

"Don't tell me I'm still on that feckin' island!"

"I love my brick!"

"That would be an ecumenical matter!"

If you haven't seen this show, you haven't lived. 'nuff said.
Father Ted is only three seasons long, because of Dermot Morgan's, the actor who played Ted, unfortunate death. May he rest in peace.

Relevant quote:
Priest: "*Shaking fist at the sky* You bastard!"