darren o'donnell's definitions

Shovel-Ready

A state of readiness, needing only a shift in resources - monetary, emotional, psychological - in ones favor.

I'm shovel-ready for a relationship with Betty, if only she knew I existed.

by Darren O'Donnell January 28, 2009

flirtcast

A sexy email sent to a friend or acquaintance in the hopes that s/he will take the bait and a hookup will ensue.

I'm really stressed these days because I sent out a bunch of flirtcasts yesterday and haven't heard back from any of them.

I'm supposed to be working on a grant but, instead, I'm spending the whole day flirtcasting.

I did some pretty heavy flirtcasting with that woman who works at the Drake and now I'm paranoid I've pissed her off.

by Darren O'Donnell February 25, 2007

videlusion

a delusional impulse while video chatting with someone.

While videochatting with Yvonne, she went to the bathroom. I had the videlusion that I could hide in her closet and scare her when she came back. (true story)

by Darren O'Donnell June 25, 2008

shovel-ready

A state in which one's various projects only need a whack of cash thrown at them for them to roll.

My next novel is shovel-ready, I just need to receive that pesky arts grant.

by Darren O'Donnell January 27, 2009

procrasturbation

n. to avoid work by masturbating.

I didn't feel like working on my novel so, instead, i just lay around procrasturbating.

by darren o'donnell July 17, 2004

douchebait

A comment, status update or tweet designed to illicit idiotic responses.

Almost any mention of politics is great douchebait. Take a firm position and watch the feeding frenzy.

I criticized some parents for using their child's image as a profile pic on Facebook and it proved to be a perfect piece of douchebait.

by Darren O'Donnell May 2, 2011

Google Twitch

(noun) An irrational impulse to google or otherwise use the internet to search for something completely impossible to locate on the WWW.

(verb) To experience the desire to google something ungoogleable.

(noun) When I realized I had misplaced the keys to the safe I experienced such a strong google twitch that I actually sat down in front of my computer and typed "keys to safe" before I recognized my foolishness.

(noun) Jimmy lost track of his girlfriend, Yvonne, at the mall and while searching for her had a momentary google twitch as he walked past a computer store.

(verb) I was trying to remember where we were when we first kissed and I totally google twitched.

by Darren O'Donnell June 11, 2006