52 definitions by daltonjfk
Gair: "Bruh you usually look faded by this time on a Friday, what's up?"
Mikel: "Man I thought this was gonna be a sober thing so I didn't bring my herbs, now I'm looking back wishing I had come prepared."
Gair: "Damn that's why your eyes look so clear - your hindsight is 420."
Mikel: "Man I thought this was gonna be a sober thing so I didn't bring my herbs, now I'm looking back wishing I had come prepared."
Gair: "Damn that's why your eyes look so clear - your hindsight is 420."
by daltonjfk December 17, 2019
The mound of forgotten, forlorn groupchats piling up at the bottom of your messages list.
Tombstones in the groupchat graveyard often read “Ibiza 2016 🔥”, “Victoria’a bdayyyy”, or, more tragically, “4ever Squad” and “Ride-or-dies”.
According to legend, some of the groupchats in the graveyard may be haunted by the people who acquired your friends’ old phone numbers.
Tombstones in the groupchat graveyard often read “Ibiza 2016 🔥”, “Victoria’a bdayyyy”, or, more tragically, “4ever Squad” and “Ride-or-dies”.
According to legend, some of the groupchats in the graveyard may be haunted by the people who acquired your friends’ old phone numbers.
1: “What was the name of that guy I hooked up with at Sara’s brother’s wedding?”
2: “Check the groupchat graveyard hun.”
2: “Check the groupchat graveyard hun.”
by daltonjfk October 30, 2019
When vegetarians start beef
When Layla-Ann accused Melrose of having worn leather shoelaces on Monday, I knew the two of them were about to start tofu.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
Private parts belonging to your friend who will hook up with anyone.
Like public parks, but remain open at night time.
Like public parks, but remain open at night time.
Grace: "Girls, I must admit that after the Kappa party I may have stayed over in Thad's room."
Brianna: "You got up on that manslut's public parts??"
Brianna: "You got up on that manslut's public parts??"
by daltonjfk December 19, 2019
Dime baggies of drugs your friends have had stashed away in their bottom drawer since March 2020. You can tell from the anemic plastic and dustbuster-looking powder inside that these particular drugs have not seen the sweet inside of a dollar bill since before every bar stopped accepting cash.
You may have survived a pandemic, but with these uncertain dimes back in circulation, your Friday night at Kind Regards might be more dangerous than ever before.
by daltonjfk September 24, 2021
The circular imprint that develops in the skin of a wallet when a single man has carried an as-yet unused condom in it for too long.
Even after removing the contraceptive wang-sleeve (usually due to expiration rather than use), the single man's ring will usually persist for months to come. Upon close inspection, the single man's ring may occasionally be found pressed into banknotes and jeans pockets.
Even after removing the contraceptive wang-sleeve (usually due to expiration rather than use), the single man's ring will usually persist for months to come. Upon close inspection, the single man's ring may occasionally be found pressed into banknotes and jeans pockets.
Wandering the bars on Wednesday night, Pete realised the single man's ring which had developed in his wallet announced to all bartenders that he was wedded to the sadboi life.
by daltonjfk October 26, 2019
A tactical vomit effected in order to continue a night out.
The seventh-inning wretch normally occurs between 11pm and 1am, when partygoers who mixed whiskey and beer or rum and wine at the pregame dash to the restroom to pitch forward and re-serve their dinner plate. The seventh-inning wretch is normally a solitary event but can also be a team effort.
The seventh-inning wretch normally occurs between 11pm and 1am, when partygoers who mixed whiskey and beer or rum and wine at the pregame dash to the restroom to pitch forward and re-serve their dinner plate. The seventh-inning wretch is normally a solitary event but can also be a team effort.
When everyone decided spontaneously to go to a club after Neil’s pregame and the bar next door, I dashed to the facilities for a seventh-inning wretch so the bouncers wouldn’t see how plastered I was.
by daltonjfk November 4, 2019