8 definitions by dalespelman2
Slap-nuts is a modern day derogatory slur that can be used against someone who is being an idiot or suffers from severe mental-retardation. Alternatively, you can also call someone this name if they are being obnoxious and you just want them to shut the fuck up. This is the perfect term for any of the above and more!
Example:
Noah: Logan can you please not wipe me the fuck out when I'm literally about to score, we're on the same team. Fucksakes.
Logan(Slap-nuts): Then stop getting in the way mate!! Seriously, it's not hard is it?!
Dale: Logan, really man, come on. Get your head in the game and stop licking windows!
Logan: *does the exact same thing and just wipes Noah out in front of an open-goal*
Noah: For fuck sake Slap-nuts!!!! What the fuck are you doing!!! I'm about to slap my nuts on your mums coochie after this game if you keep it up!!
Noah: Logan can you please not wipe me the fuck out when I'm literally about to score, we're on the same team. Fucksakes.
Logan(Slap-nuts): Then stop getting in the way mate!! Seriously, it's not hard is it?!
Dale: Logan, really man, come on. Get your head in the game and stop licking windows!
Logan: *does the exact same thing and just wipes Noah out in front of an open-goal*
Noah: For fuck sake Slap-nuts!!!! What the fuck are you doing!!! I'm about to slap my nuts on your mums coochie after this game if you keep it up!!
by dalespelman2 September 5, 2021
A derogatory slur to say to someone when they are being painfully cringe. When they are being so cringe you think you may die a premature death, you can drop this word on them.
Dale: Hey Andr-
Andrew: Cringelord Dale, For Cringe Sake! Go pull a Ric-Flair!
Dale: Fucksake cunt, I am going to fucking have a coronary if you don't shut the fuck up. Do you even know who Ric Flair is?
Andrew: Thats so wack and who the fuck is Ric Flair!?!? Irrelevant Warren!!!
Dale: You little fucking cringebaby, shut the fuck up and just sod off you cumlord.
Andrew: Cringelord Dale, For Cringe Sake! Go pull a Ric-Flair!
Dale: Fucksake cunt, I am going to fucking have a coronary if you don't shut the fuck up. Do you even know who Ric Flair is?
Andrew: Thats so wack and who the fuck is Ric Flair!?!? Irrelevant Warren!!!
Dale: You little fucking cringebaby, shut the fuck up and just sod off you cumlord.
by dalespelman2 September 24, 2019
'Witless Dishcloth' is a derogatory term used to insult someone when they are being obnoxious and time-wasting. This phrase was coined by James May on the first episode of season three of the Amazon Prime Exclusive and Original, The Grand Tour.
1st example (origin): I just wanna say, Hammond, you witless dishcloth!
2nd example: Patrick, are you repeating Year 11 at school? Dale asked
Patrick: Dale, I DON'T wanna talk about it mate. Alright?!? Just give it up moiiiite.
Dale: Oi dickhead, just fuckin tell me yeh?
Patrick: Just blud off, blud! Alright?!!
Dale: Oh Partick you fuckin witless dishcloth, just get the rest of the business notes down on the google doc dickhead.
2nd example: Patrick, are you repeating Year 11 at school? Dale asked
Patrick: Dale, I DON'T wanna talk about it mate. Alright?!? Just give it up moiiiite.
Dale: Oi dickhead, just fuckin tell me yeh?
Patrick: Just blud off, blud! Alright?!!
Dale: Oh Partick you fuckin witless dishcloth, just get the rest of the business notes down on the google doc dickhead.
by dalespelman2 September 23, 2019
A term used in Australia to define someone who is 'not quite there' in the head. Usually the typical person who is defined as such can be a little bit slow with some things in life or sometimes, for example, not catching on to what is otherwise something oblivious to the naked eye. Alternatively, it can be used for someone who is just having an off day and is stuffing everything up for everyone.
Example I:
Jack: *Starts licking windows*
The Boys: Gee, he really is not the full 100 today is he.
Example II:
Dale: Accidentally pukes everywhere whilst extremely intoxicated
The boys: Fuck, when this cunt is on the piss, he is not the full 100 exactly is he.
Jack: *Starts licking windows*
The Boys: Gee, he really is not the full 100 today is he.
Example II:
Dale: Accidentally pukes everywhere whilst extremely intoxicated
The boys: Fuck, when this cunt is on the piss, he is not the full 100 exactly is he.
by dalespelman2 September 2, 2021
An 'insufferable oaf' is a term used to describe someone when they are deliberately being quite obnoxious. Most famously used by James May on Top Gear when they were all participating in a race along the arctic to the North Pole, and himself and Jeremy were paired together. James sat on the toilet seat on the rear exterior of the Toyota Hilux when Jeremy slowly pulled away, resulting in an angry outburst from James.
'CLARKSON!' yelled James. 'I know it's you you Insufferable Oaf, I'm on the bloody throne!' he shouted, frustratedly.
by dalespelman2 September 19, 2019
A term coined by Noah Thurbon (twitter @noahthurbo) on Wednesday, 1st of September 2021 to describe one of our friends. 'Spedtacular' is used to describe someone that is Not the full 100 and can downright be an idiot and just make some not-so-smart decisions. This term can also be used to describe the type of people that when told a joke/they are being joked about, it just goes straight over their head and they are simply oblivious as to what is going on in the environment around them.
Example I:
Logan (Spectacular in this example): Noah, I really don't want to play Rocket League to be honest. Games shit.
Noah: Alright Spedtacular, just fucking leave then. Not stopping you.
Logan: You literally forced me to come on in the first place!!!
Dale: All right, all right, calm down Spedtacular, don't get so fucking antsy.
Example II:
Jack (Spedtacular in this instance): Not everyone can get a 15 minute break at my workplace (local supermarket pleb) which they are legally entitled to under law; it simply would not work in our workplace with the way we run things.
Noah: Then why not change things and arrange things so you can fit these breaks in for the employees?
Jack: It would not work. We have been running it like this for years and it works. No point in change.
Dale: Jack you literally are the definition of Spedtacular shut the fuck up.
Jack: cries
Logan (Spectacular in this example): Noah, I really don't want to play Rocket League to be honest. Games shit.
Noah: Alright Spedtacular, just fucking leave then. Not stopping you.
Logan: You literally forced me to come on in the first place!!!
Dale: All right, all right, calm down Spedtacular, don't get so fucking antsy.
Example II:
Jack (Spedtacular in this instance): Not everyone can get a 15 minute break at my workplace (local supermarket pleb) which they are legally entitled to under law; it simply would not work in our workplace with the way we run things.
Noah: Then why not change things and arrange things so you can fit these breaks in for the employees?
Jack: It would not work. We have been running it like this for years and it works. No point in change.
Dale: Jack you literally are the definition of Spedtacular shut the fuck up.
Jack: cries
by dalespelman2 September 2, 2021
'Shat my dacks' is the past tense for 'Shit my dacks'. This term is commonly used when someone was scared shitless when looking back on past events.
Morgz: Oi dickhead, we're gonna go see IT Chapter 2 on Friday night. You coming?
Dale: Ahh fuck I dunno aye, last time I watched a horror movie, I nearly shat my dacks... not a good fuckin time.
Daryl: *laughs hysterically*
Teacher: THAT LANGUAGE DOES NOT RELATE TO THE GEOGRAPHICAL CHANGES IN BUSINESS, DALE!!!!!
*class laughs so hard they all shit their dacks*
Dale: Ahh fuck I dunno aye, last time I watched a horror movie, I nearly shat my dacks... not a good fuckin time.
Daryl: *laughs hysterically*
Teacher: THAT LANGUAGE DOES NOT RELATE TO THE GEOGRAPHICAL CHANGES IN BUSINESS, DALE!!!!!
*class laughs so hard they all shit their dacks*
by dalespelman2 September 24, 2019