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ctrlU's definitions

Nerd Yoga

n. The bizarre contortions that are performed by tech support people to get at hard-to-reach equipment. Often practitioners surprise observers because they appear otherwise incapable or averse to any physically strenuous activity.
User #1: Did you get your mouse working again?
User #2: Turns out it was just unplugged. The IT guy came up and did a little Nerd Yoga to get it back in.
User #1: That guy can really bend himself into weird shapes.
User #2 True dat.
by ctrlU March 29, 2010
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minge crust

vegma deposited and dried onto a toilet seat
Jan's house is disgusting, from the rotten stuff in the fridge to the minge crust in the bathroom.
by ctrlU September 8, 2011
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Chunkle Fever

a skinny person's new-found preference after discovering the mind-blowing superiority of plus-sized sex partners.
Al: That girl is so hot, is that fat guy her brother?
Bob: Nah, that's her boyfriend, she's got Chunkle Fever

or

Richard: Check the giant booty on that one!
Wayne: Aw yeah...
Richard: Bro, you got Chunkle Fever
by ctrlU November 7, 2012
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velocipedophile

a person who is sexually attracted to bicycles.
In July of 2013 the Swedish police were looking for a man who had been having sex with parked bicycles. This velocipedophile had been filmed in the act by the owner of one of the defiled bikes.
by ctrlU September 23, 2013
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Common Nonsense

Phrase describing a popular belief that is held and promoted but which is not actually true.

False information that has not yet made the transition to Old Wives Tale.
Examples of Common Nonsense:

1. Corporal punishment improves behavior.
2. If you don't wear a hat you'll catch a cold.
3. Saddam Hussein was behind 9/11.
4. If you shave something the hair grows back thicker.
5. Your hair and nails keep growing after you die.
6. The world used to be a safer place.
by ctrlU October 4, 2010
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texclude

v. To remove a thread's originator from the active conversation, sometimes completely changing the subject.
This thread started out as a post about my cat and now you people are arguing about French cinema. I hate it when you texclude me.
by ctrlU April 2, 2011
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shit yer snatch

To completely overreact to a situation. Obviously meant to apply to women but doubly effective when applied to a man, implying they are, in fact, actually a woman.
Thomas: We're going to be late again! We have to leave and you're still sorting mail and need a wash!

Percy: Ok, don't shit yer snatch! The fat controller can wait two minutes!
by ctrlU October 20, 2010
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