ctrlU's definitions

velocipedophile

a person who is sexually attracted to bicycles.

In July of 2013 the Swedish police were looking for a man who had been having sex with parked bicycles. This velocipedophile had been filmed in the act by the owner of one of the defiled bikes.

by ctrlU September 23, 2013

texclude

v. To remove a thread's originator from the active conversation, sometimes completely changing the subject.

This thread started out as a post about my cat and now you people are arguing about French cinema. I hate it when you texclude me.

by ctrlU April 2, 2011

Nerd Yoga

n. The bizarre contortions that are performed by tech support people to get at hard-to-reach equipment. Often practitioners surprise observers because they appear otherwise incapable or averse to any physically strenuous activity.

User #1: Did you get your mouse working again?
User #2: Turns out it was just unplugged. The IT guy came up and did a little Nerd Yoga to get it back in.
User #1: That guy can really bend himself into weird shapes.
User #2 True dat.

by ctrlU March 29, 2010

decimal phone

n. a mobile phone without a full QWERTY keyboard.

Unlike a dumb phone, the decimal phone can have any number of advanced features but simply lacks the (crucial) above-mentioned I/O device.

Thomas: How come you never reply to my text messages?

Percy: I've still got a decimal phone and it sucks for texting!

by ctrlU April 9, 2011

R2D2

abbrev.: "Ready To Drop Two"

meaning: pregnant and carrying twins

Bill: Hey have you seen Kate lately? She's HUGE!
Rob: I know man, she's R2D2.

by ctrlU December 10, 2012

scumpipe

n. a hotdog, usually sold by a street vendor

I was so drunk last night I had a scumpipe after the show and now I feel awful.

by ctrlU August 14, 2012

serious

Used to differentiate between the two most common reasons for visiting the loo. Allows for open discussion of bathroom activities in public or in mixed company.

n. a bowel movement

v. to defecate

Bill: I need to go to the bathroom before we leave.
Tina: Is it serious?
Bill: Yes!
Tina: Then we'll never get out of here!

-or-

Bill: I know you're still putting on your makeup in here but I gotta go serious!

-or

Bill (with newspaper tucked under arm): I'll be back in 20 minutes, I have to conduct some serious research.

by ctrlU January 26, 2010