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ctrlU's definitions

serious

Used to differentiate between the two most common reasons for visiting the loo. Allows for open discussion of bathroom activities in public or in mixed company.

n. a bowel movement

v. to defecate
Bill: I need to go to the bathroom before we leave.
Tina: Is it serious?
Bill: Yes!
Tina: Then we'll never get out of here!

-or-

Bill: I know you're still putting on your makeup in here but I gotta go serious!

-or

Bill (with newspaper tucked under arm): I'll be back in 20 minutes, I have to conduct some serious research.
by ctrlU January 26, 2010
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Common Nonsense

Phrase describing a popular belief that is held and promoted but which is not actually true.

False information that has not yet made the transition to Old Wives Tale.
Examples of Common Nonsense:

1. Corporal punishment improves behavior.
2. If you don't wear a hat you'll catch a cold.
3. Saddam Hussein was behind 9/11.
4. If you shave something the hair grows back thicker.
5. Your hair and nails keep growing after you die.
6. The world used to be a safer place.
by ctrlU October 4, 2010
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velocipedophile

a person who is sexually attracted to bicycles.
In July of 2013 the Swedish police were looking for a man who had been having sex with parked bicycles. This velocipedophile had been filmed in the act by the owner of one of the defiled bikes.
by ctrlU September 23, 2013
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Swedish holiday

Police Officer: What are you doing, sir?
Perv: I'm on a Swedish holiday.
Police Officer: Yeah, this isn't Sweden. I'm arresting you.
by ctrlU September 19, 2013
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big mac

n. A unit of evil or unhealthiness against which all other things are measured.
1. Twice the calories than a big mac
2. Half the fat than a big mac
3. One eighth the sodium than a big mac
4. More racist than a big mac
5. Ten times more radiation than a big mac
6. More unprotected sex than a big mac
7. More greedy than a big mac
8. 18 more mpg than a big mac
9. Bigger boobs than a big mac
10. half as ugly as a big mac
11. More deadly than two big macs
12. Smells like a steaming heap of big macs

etc.
by ctrlU May 5, 2011
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Nerd Yoga

n. The bizarre contortions that are performed by tech support people to get at hard-to-reach equipment. Often practitioners surprise observers because they appear otherwise incapable or averse to any physically strenuous activity.
User #1: Did you get your mouse working again?
User #2: Turns out it was just unplugged. The IT guy came up and did a little Nerd Yoga to get it back in.
User #1: That guy can really bend himself into weird shapes.
User #2 True dat.
by ctrlU March 29, 2010
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texclude

v. To remove a thread's originator from the active conversation, sometimes completely changing the subject.
This thread started out as a post about my cat and now you people are arguing about French cinema. I hate it when you texclude me.
by ctrlU April 2, 2011
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