a Velcrofart describes the situation where, to pluck an example out of thin air, a bloke called Binkie has been ordered out of the Dandy Lion Arms, because the fumes from his Arse are upsetting the licensee's children, but when he re-enters the bar, the gut-wrenching stench follows him back in.
Bert - Christ who ripped that one?
Sam - Oh No! Binkie's dropped another velcrofart; they stick to him like Bud Flanagan used to stick to Chesney Allen ...
Sam - Oh No! Binkie's dropped another velcrofart; they stick to him like Bud Flanagan used to stick to Chesney Allen ...
by bromp April 16, 2009
Get the velcrofartmug. That miraculous sensor situated in the anal tract that enables the operator to determine whether the chamber is loaded with gas or solid matter, before risking a fart. The Bombay barometer may give faulty readings when, for example, swamped by large quantities of beer and curry, with disastrous results.
by bromp January 20, 2009
Get the Bombay barometermug. leaker n. Aus. A sexually alluring female, that is to say, one who "has holes that need to be plugged up".
O. was a leaker and would fuck anything that would help her into a job. She was a leaker who had a penchant for back door love.
by bromp March 14, 2010
Get the leakermug. A Uri Geller Smeller is named after the man who claimed he could bend spoons and stop clocks just by looking at them, and is the result of a violent incident of "sitting on a mortar" after a bad curry, when the foul miasma emanates from the WC and works its way around the house bending spoons and stopping clocks as it goes.
Postman: "I shouldn't go to number 10 Downing Street just yet without a gas mask, Officer. There's been a Uri Geller Smeller incident! Give it 20 minutes if I were you."
by bromp March 19, 2008
Get the uri geller smellermug. Humph's and Magna Farta's def. is all very well, yet if I may venture to suggest another meaning: the term could equally well be used to define the onset of defecatory cramps caused by the aroma of ground coffee. Therefore:
" I am sorry, Your Honour, that the Defendant has not yet appeared. He is not however absent in Contempt of Court as I am able to instruct the Jury that Pavlov's Log is held and recongized here by the Court as Mitigating Circumstances. We can confirm that Starbuck's coffee house outside the Courthouse was indeed repsonsible for the onset of my client's bout of Pavlov's Log. He has been detained in the Couthouse restroom and will be appearing in due course."
by bromp May 10, 2008
Get the Pavlov's Logmug. The Magna Farta defines Pavlov's Log as the "conditioned reflex action causing one's Bomb Bay to start opening upon seeing a Restroom. From the famous Russian psychologist Ernst Pavlov, who rang a bell every time his dog done a Shit."
" I am sorry, Your Honour, that the Defendant has not yet appeared. He is not however absent in Contempt of Court as I am able to instruct the Jury that Pavlov's Log is held and recongized by the Court as Mitigating Curcimstances. In mitigation, my client has just called me by cellphone from the Courtroom Shitehouse with the message: "I'd give it another 10 minutes if I were you".
by bromp April 10, 2008
Get the Pavlov's Logmug.