20 definitions by bromp
v. to top deck: a house guest who defecates in one's host cistern, rather than, more conventionally, in the toilet, for comic effect.
Tony Blair and his wife Cherie were invited round by the Browns to congratulate Gordon on his appointment as Prime Minister. Cherie was furious because she never liked Gordon and wanted her Tony to stay on another 10 years. She said to herself : “I know, I'll fix 'em with a good smelly top deck after the main course”.
by bromp May 15, 2008
a Velcrofart describes the situation where, to pluck an example out of thin air, a bloke called Binkie has been ordered out of the Dandy Lion Arms, because the fumes from his Arse are upsetting the licensee's children, but when he re-enters the bar, the gut-wrenching stench follows him back in.
Bert - Christ who ripped that one?
Sam - Oh No! Binkie's dropped another velcrofart; they stick to him like Bud Flanagan used to stick to Chesney Allen ...
Sam - Oh No! Binkie's dropped another velcrofart; they stick to him like Bud Flanagan used to stick to Chesney Allen ...
by bromp April 16, 2009
"Unfortunately Your Highness, my husband had some dodgy prawn chimichongas for lunch and has sat on a mortar, thus he will not be able to attend tea."
by bromp March 15, 2008
A house guest who defecates in one's host cistern, rather than, more conventionally, in the toilet, for comic effect.
Tony Blair and his wife Cherie were invited round by the Browns to congratulate Gordon on his appointment as Prime Minister. Cherie was furious because she never liked Gordon and wanted her Tony to stay on another 10 years. She said to herself : “I know, I'll fix 'em with a good smelly top-decking after the main course”.
by bromp May 15, 2008
"Mr Darcy, I find it most difficult to credit your assertion that Miss bennet was responsible for the beefy eggo that cleared the dance floor not five minutes ago.. For one thin, the miasma concerned was distinctly reminiscent of the casserole I observed you yourself consuming last night, whereas I have it on good authority that Miss Bennet is a vegetarian. If that was Fartistic Licence, Darcy, then it was dashed bad form."
by bromp February 18, 2010
A Uri Geller Smeller is named after the man who claimed he could bend spoons and stop clocks just by looking at them, and is the result of a violent incident of "sitting on a mortar" after a bad curry, when the foul miasma emanates from the WC and works its way around the house bending spoons and stopping clocks as it goes.
Postman: "I shouldn't go to number 10 Downing Street just yet without a gas mask, Officer. There's been a Uri Geller Smeller incident! Give it 20 minutes if I were you."
by bromp March 19, 2008
A Uri Geller Smeller is named after the man who claimed he could bend spoons and stop clocks just by looking at them, and is the result of a violent incident of "sitting on a mortar" after a bad curry, when the foul miasma emanates from the WC and works its way around the house bending spoons and stopping clocks as it goes.
Postman: "I shouldn't go to number 10 Downing Street with your warrant just yet without a gas mask, Officer. There's been an incident, a real Uri Geller Smeller."
by bromp March 19, 2008