brett burkhardt's definitions

Jewelry Junky

Someone who spends all their money on ugly, shitty jewelry and insists on wearing as much of it as possible.

April hated her jewelry junky roommate. You could hear the banging and clicking of her ugly necklaces, bracelets, anklets, and rings every time she moved around the house.

Annie was a pathetic jewelry junky. She’d parade around the office in 10 cheap gold chains and bracelets up to her elbows.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Girls Night Out Shepard

The girl who stays sober and keeps all of her friends together at the bar or a party. Usually the one who will step in and cock block you the second you start getting somewhere.

A girls night out shepard is like a Marine...she won’t leave anyone behind.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Drag Dowager

An older rich woman who dresses and does her hair and makeup in such a way that she resembles a drag queen.

“Girl, check out that drag dowager in isle three. I half expected to see an Adam’s apple on her.”

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Name Nabber

A customer who demands on getting your name even though you’ve already told them and you’re wearing a name tag because they want to bitch about shit that never happened or things that they imagined.

Mr. Gonzalez was a major name nabber. He’ll write that shit down and then bitch about you to a manager 3 weeks later for some made up bullshit.

Sheila knew the customer was a name nabber so she told him that her name was Sharon.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Nutrition Nazi

Someone who insists on getting in everyone’s face and insulting and belittling them on their food choices.

“Oh, girl, I just watched a Nutrition Nazi rip some poor girl a new asshole for having a carton of non-soy milk in her cart at the grocery store!”

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

tab abuse

When you pick up the tab for someone and their simple request turns into a dozen expensive things.

"When we go to the bar and he picks up the tab he limits us to tap beer but when I pick up the tab he insists on getting $10 martinis."
"That us such tab abuse, tell his ass he can buy his own drinks."

A common tab abuse situation.
"I forgot my purse at home, will you buy me a pack of gum and maybe a pack of smokes?"
"Sure."
"Sweet! In that case, I also need another pack of smokes, two frozen pizzas, some chips, a six pack, a box of tampons, and a bottle of vodka...oh and some orange juice..."

by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008

Clay Pit

Someone who really needs to clean out before anal but doesn’t.

“Dude, I was so psyched when that chick from the bar said she wanted to do anal but she was a total clay pit and now I need to buy some new sheets.”

Everyone knew that Brent was a clay pit, that’s why they never wanted to fuck him.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008