brett burkhardt's definitions

Suicide by Slut

Someone who ruins their life by sleeping around in a stupid, careless, and self destructive manner.

The congressman was committing suicide by slut when he took those tranny hookers to the pay by the hour motel just three blocks down from the local tv station.

When Greg told us he doesn’t use condoms with the skanks he brings home from the bar we all knew he was committing suicide by slut.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Booty Buddy

Not exactly a fuck buddy but someone who you have friendly conversation with just before and after sex during regular booty calls.

“Nick is a great Booty Buddy but I just don’t think we’d get along if we spent time together not having sex.”

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Back Story Bore

Someone who refuses to answer a simple question and insists on giving you their entire life story.

“....and then I wanted to plant tulips but I just don’t think our soil is right for it...”
“Sir! I just need to know, soup or salad!” Said the poor waitress after a 5 minute story from the Back Story Bore on table 8.

“Can I get your name please, ma’am?”
“Well I called because I got this letter and I was going to call yesterday when I got it but then my sister called and then it started to rain so I had to....”
“MA’AM!!! I need your name before I can even help you!” Denise screamed at the back story bore who was eating into her lunch hour.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Golden Parachute Punk

A CEO who gets a fat paycheck after running a company into the ground.

Marge lost her 401K and all her company stock was worthless but the Golden Parachute Punk who drove the company into bankruptcy got a severance package of 20 million...the douche.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Name Defame

When someone creates a word and definition on Urban Dictionary just to defame someone.

“I can’t believe what that bitch wrote about me on Myspace...I’m going to name defame her ass so hard!”

“So your ex fucked the entire rugby team? Dude, you should SO name defame her!”

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Guido Hair

Hair that looks greasy and disgusting from having too much product in it and can withstand winds of up to 90 miles an hour without even moving.

Anthony thought his hair was super sweet but what woman wants a man who’s hair could be used as a lethal weapon?

“March your ass upstairs right now and wash that crap out of your hair, no son of mine is leaving this house with Guido Hair.”

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Scabies Sanctuary

A piece of furniture or person that is infected with scabies.

“Dude, you gonna help me move up that couch we found out by the dumpster?”
“Nah, that looks like it’s a scabies sanctuary.”

Tara thought that sweet almost chair from the second hand store was a steal. Too bad for her, it was a scabies sanctuary.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008