brett burkhardt's definitions
“....and then I wanted to plant tulips but I just don’t think our soil is right for it...”
“Sir! I just need to know, soup or salad!” Said the poor waitress after a 5 minute story from the Back Story Bore on table 8.
“Can I get your name please, ma’am?”
“Well I called because I got this letter and I was going to call yesterday when I got it but then my sister called and then it started to rain so I had to....”
“MA’AM!!! I need your name before I can even help you!” Denise screamed at the back story bore who was eating into her lunch hour.
“Sir! I just need to know, soup or salad!” Said the poor waitress after a 5 minute story from the Back Story Bore on table 8.
“Can I get your name please, ma’am?”
“Well I called because I got this letter and I was going to call yesterday when I got it but then my sister called and then it started to rain so I had to....”
“MA’AM!!! I need your name before I can even help you!” Denise screamed at the back story bore who was eating into her lunch hour.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Back Story Bore mug.Marge lost her 401K and all her company stock was worthless but the Golden Parachute Punk who drove the company into bankruptcy got a severance package of 20 million...the douche.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Golden Parachute Punk mug.When you’re waiting on hold for someone and know that the second you answer another call or check another line they’ll answer and hang up when you don’t answer right away.
I’ve been a hold hostage for 8 minutes now. I know that if that whore in accounts receivable picks up when I try and answer this other line she’ll disconnect.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Hold Hostage mug.Named after the Greek prophetess. A way of saying “I told you so” or to remind people not to complain to your ass about shit because you warned them all about the problems you saw coming a mile away.
I filed a Cassandra Claim when you hired his dumb ass so don't start in with me. I told you he was a sticky fingered shifty bastard and you still hired him so it’s your fault that he stole over $9,000 worth of stock.
I’ve got a Cassandra Claim on your boyfriend cheating on you, Beth, because I warned your ass that I saw his car parked in front of the porn store just about every night on my way home from work.
I’ve got a Cassandra Claim on your boyfriend cheating on you, Beth, because I warned your ass that I saw his car parked in front of the porn store just about every night on my way home from work.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Cassandra Claim mug.When you have to clean up the mess an old person makes when moving to or from the place where the live during the winter.
Can also be used when cleaning up any other sort of mess a snowbird makes in their migration like a car accident, when they forget what they ordered at a restaurant and then bitch that you brought the wrong thing, or even if their camper catches on fire and burns down half the camp ground. All of this and much more is snowbird shit.
Can also be used when cleaning up any other sort of mess a snowbird makes in their migration like a car accident, when they forget what they ordered at a restaurant and then bitch that you brought the wrong thing, or even if their camper catches on fire and burns down half the camp ground. All of this and much more is snowbird shit.
Erik knew he was going to have to clean up a lot of snowbird shit with this bastard. He was demanding all sorts of fees waved because he was too stupid to have his bills forwarded to his winter address.
The traffic on the highway was backed up for miles because some old bitch in a Lincoln is driving down the center line at 7 miles an hour and she just won't pull over. This is some serious snowbird shit right here and if I'm late for work I'm going to scream
The traffic on the highway was backed up for miles because some old bitch in a Lincoln is driving down the center line at 7 miles an hour and she just won't pull over. This is some serious snowbird shit right here and if I'm late for work I'm going to scream
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Snowbird Shit mug.Someone who thinks that living downtown is the only way to go and that everyone else is an uncultured rube.
“I can’t visit her, she lives in the suburbs for God’s sake! You might as well ask me to go to the deep south or the dark heart of Africa or some other place with no running water or appletinis!” Shrieked the uppity urbanite.
“Oh...my...God....is that a cow?! Hold me, I’m scared, it’s going to be just like Deliverance”
“Shut the fuck up, Catherine. If you’re going to pull this uppity urbanite shit with me we will end this road trip right now.”
“Oh...my...God....is that a cow?! Hold me, I’m scared, it’s going to be just like Deliverance”
“Shut the fuck up, Catherine. If you’re going to pull this uppity urbanite shit with me we will end this road trip right now.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Uppity Urbanite mug.A moment of self denial, privation, or sacrifice that a person uses for sympathy and pity for years on end or to guilt people into doing what they want.
Ed knew that driving his girlfriend to the airport at 4am was just the martyr moment he needed to get more oral.
“Lilly, you can just jump down off that cross now. Staying three minutes after work is not a martyr moment worthy of asking for Friday night off.”
“Lilly, you can just jump down off that cross now. Staying three minutes after work is not a martyr moment worthy of asking for Friday night off.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Martyr Moment mug.