brett burkhardt's definitions
That guy had a real douche dispute. He called in to demand free pizza because there were only 30 pieces of pepperoni on his pizza.
“I want to have all my money back from this flight, it was delayed by 45 minutes.”
“Ma’am, we were in the middle of a blizzard, you’re lucky your flight was even able to leave. If you want to continue with this douche dispute, I will be forced to disconnect this call.”
“I want to have all my money back from this flight, it was delayed by 45 minutes.”
“Ma’am, we were in the middle of a blizzard, you’re lucky your flight was even able to leave. If you want to continue with this douche dispute, I will be forced to disconnect this call.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Douche Disputemug. We all laughed when she told us that she spent $300 on that blue zebra print dress. For the same price, she could have had 35 dresses exactly like it from the bargain bin at K-Mart.
We knew we hit the goldmine when we opened this trendy boutique. Fashion fools will pay a fortune to get a “one of a kind” dress no matter how ugly it is.
We knew we hit the goldmine when we opened this trendy boutique. Fashion fools will pay a fortune to get a “one of a kind” dress no matter how ugly it is.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Fashion Foolmug. When someone with a hard on grinds it against your ass while dancing, cuddling, spooning, or just standing behind you.
Tanya loved spooning but hated when her boyfriend used it as an excuse to go knocking at the back door all night.
“That guy at the bar was cute but he was knocking at the back door all night on the dance floor and that’s why I didn’t go home with him. Why bring someone home if you know he’s just packing half a roll of Life Savers in his pants?”
“That guy at the bar was cute but he was knocking at the back door all night on the dance floor and that’s why I didn’t go home with him. Why bring someone home if you know he’s just packing half a roll of Life Savers in his pants?”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Knocking at the back doormug. Rick didn’t mind working for the county health dept but he hated having to try and give exposure disclosures when all he had to work with were screen names.
Mrs. Manners says, if you’re going to make an exposure disclosure you should at least have the balls to do it by phone.
Mrs. Manners says, if you’re going to make an exposure disclosure you should at least have the balls to do it by phone.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Exposure Disclosuremug. To avoid answering questions directly because you don't know the answer, or you don't want the person to talking to knowing the real answer, and talking about another subject you do know something about, or something to flatter or distract the other person, instead. Also resorting to speaking in talking points, folksy colloquialisms, or buzz words to avoid answering questions while trying to look like you know what you're talking about and to keep from having to give an honest or valid answer.
"I didn't do any research for my oral report on raising chickens so I pulled a Palin and started talking about how to make fried chicken."
"I knew that car salesman was full of crap when he pulled a Palin on every question I asked about the car. The last straw was when I asked him about gas mileage and he just said, 'Little lady, I can tell you all day about how few times you'll need to take this pony to the trough but we ought to close the barn door on it before some eagle eye rustles it up from ya. Why don't we just talk about it in the office while I get the papers ready' I ran as fast as I could.
"When I asked my boyfriend about the rumor he was doing gay porn, he pulled a Palin and mumbled something about my friends trying to pull a smear campaign."
"If he asks you what you were doing afternoon, pull a Palin and talk about your new car and how cute his kids are."
"I knew that car salesman was full of crap when he pulled a Palin on every question I asked about the car. The last straw was when I asked him about gas mileage and he just said, 'Little lady, I can tell you all day about how few times you'll need to take this pony to the trough but we ought to close the barn door on it before some eagle eye rustles it up from ya. Why don't we just talk about it in the office while I get the papers ready' I ran as fast as I could.
"When I asked my boyfriend about the rumor he was doing gay porn, he pulled a Palin and mumbled something about my friends trying to pull a smear campaign."
"If he asks you what you were doing afternoon, pull a Palin and talk about your new car and how cute his kids are."
by Brett Burkhardt January 16, 2009
Get the Pull a Palinmug. Alicia was an expert at flirt and divert. She'd approach a guy at the bar, flirt with him all night so long as he paid for the drinks, and then left towards the end of the night when he went to the bathroom.
"I'm going to give her a ride home but she wants to stop at the gas station first."
"Dude, it's just flirt and divert, she's done it at every party I've seen her at. She's going to ask you for some smokes and then will run up a huge tab. The second you pull up she'll jump out and run up to her apartment without so much as a thank you."
"I'm going to give her a ride home but she wants to stop at the gas station first."
"Dude, it's just flirt and divert, she's done it at every party I've seen her at. She's going to ask you for some smokes and then will run up a huge tab. The second you pull up she'll jump out and run up to her apartment without so much as a thank you."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
Get the flirt and divertmug. Someone who sends in post cards to Post Secret about things that everyone already knows or who brags about their secret being picked.
Josh was a Post Secret poser and would send in post cards every week about the time he pissed his pants at prom. Like no one would figure that one out.
"Tony, don’t be such a Post Secret poser. If you’re going to send in secrets shut up about it."
"Tony, don’t be such a Post Secret poser. If you’re going to send in secrets shut up about it."
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Post Secret Posermug.