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brett burkhardt's definitions

Girls Night Out Shepard

The girl who stays sober and keeps all of her friends together at the bar or a party. Usually the one who will step in and cock block you the second you start getting somewhere.
A girls night out shepard is like a Marine...she won’t leave anyone behind.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Girls Night Out Shepardmug.

Douche Dispute

When someone disputes a purchase or service for some stupid reason.
That guy had a real douche dispute. He called in to demand free pizza because there were only 30 pieces of pepperoni on his pizza.

“I want to have all my money back from this flight, it was delayed by 45 minutes.”
“Ma’am, we were in the middle of a blizzard, you’re lucky your flight was even able to leave. If you want to continue with this douche dispute, I will be forced to disconnect this call.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Douche Disputemug.

Guido Hair

Hair that looks greasy and disgusting from having too much product in it and can withstand winds of up to 90 miles an hour without even moving.
Anthony thought his hair was super sweet but what woman wants a man who’s hair could be used as a lethal weapon?

“March your ass upstairs right now and wash that crap out of your hair, no son of mine is leaving this house with Guido Hair.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Guido Hairmug.

Crusty tube sock

A slut. Someone who’s taken more loads than a crusty tube sock hidden under a 14 year old’s bed.
“Don’t date her, she’s a crusty tube sock.”

“I’ve known some whores in my day but that guy is the biggest crusty tube sock I’ve ever met.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Crusty tube sockmug.

tab abuse

When you pick up the tab for someone and their simple request turns into a dozen expensive things.
"When we go to the bar and he picks up the tab he limits us to tap beer but when I pick up the tab he insists on getting $10 martinis."
"That us such tab abuse, tell his ass he can buy his own drinks."

A common tab abuse situation.
"I forgot my purse at home, will you buy me a pack of gum and maybe a pack of smokes?"
"Sure."
"Sweet! In that case, I also need another pack of smokes, two frozen pizzas, some chips, a six pack, a box of tampons, and a bottle of vodka...oh and some orange juice..."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
mugGet the tab abusemug.

Nutrition Nazi

Someone who insists on getting in everyone’s face and insulting and belittling them on their food choices.
“Oh, girl, I just watched a Nutrition Nazi rip some poor girl a new asshole for having a carton of non-soy milk in her cart at the grocery store!”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Nutrition Nazimug.

Shinanigans

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to your party but I was swamped at work.’
“Shinanigans! I saw those pics you posted on facebook showing you at the titty bar with your friends, asshole!”

“I called shinanigans on that plumber when he told me it was going to cost $780 to order a new lid for the toilet tank. Does he think I’m retarded because I’m a woman or something?”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Shinanigansmug.

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