brett burkhardt's definitions
Someone who spends all their money on ugly, shitty jewelry and insists on wearing as much of it as possible.
April hated her jewelry junky roommate. You could hear the banging and clicking of her ugly necklaces, bracelets, anklets, and rings every time she moved around the house.
Annie was a pathetic jewelry junky. She’d parade around the office in 10 cheap gold chains and bracelets up to her elbows.
Annie was a pathetic jewelry junky. She’d parade around the office in 10 cheap gold chains and bracelets up to her elbows.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Jewelry Junkymug. Someone who has to supervise at a camp or hotel to make sure that none of the high school students at an event sneak in and out of rooms to have sex. Also known as PPP.
With the cheerleading camp sandwiched between the football camp and soccer camp, Joel knew he’d be on pregnancy prevention patrol until his replacement came at dawn.
Mrs. Rivera was an expert at pregnancy prevention patrol. It’s like she could hear a hotel room door opening from two floors away and that’s why they always had her go on the band trips.
Mrs. Rivera was an expert at pregnancy prevention patrol. It’s like she could hear a hotel room door opening from two floors away and that’s why they always had her go on the band trips.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Pregnancy Prevention Patrol mug. Hair that looks greasy and disgusting from having too much product in it and can withstand winds of up to 90 miles an hour without even moving.
Anthony thought his hair was super sweet but what woman wants a man who’s hair could be used as a lethal weapon?
“March your ass upstairs right now and wash that crap out of your hair, no son of mine is leaving this house with Guido Hair.”
“March your ass upstairs right now and wash that crap out of your hair, no son of mine is leaving this house with Guido Hair.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Guido Hairmug. “Don’t date her, she’s a crusty tube sock.”
“I’ve known some whores in my day but that guy is the biggest crusty tube sock I’ve ever met.”
“I’ve known some whores in my day but that guy is the biggest crusty tube sock I’ve ever met.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Crusty tube sockmug. When you’re waiting on hold for someone and know that the second you answer another call or check another line they’ll answer and hang up when you don’t answer right away.
I’ve been a hold hostage for 8 minutes now. I know that if that whore in accounts receivable picks up when I try and answer this other line she’ll disconnect.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Hold Hostagemug. 1. Someone who spells their name when they don’t need to, especially if they start using words. The words chosen are usually random or far more interesting than the person.
2. Someone who has a fucked up name but just won’t spell it and expects you to know how it should be spelled.
2. Someone who has a fucked up name but just won’t spell it and expects you to know how it should be spelled.
"My name is Pam Jones....That’s P-A-M....J-O-N-E-S." Said the spelling bee-otch
“My name is Joe Smith...J as in Jammin’, O as in Octopus, E as in Enlightenment....S as in Socialism, M as in Macho, I as in Illicit, T as in Tangerine, and H as in Heavenly”
“Sir, could you stop being a spelling bee-otch for one minute here.”
“My name is Jaxq Villaxiquocal.”
“Can you spell that please, Sir.”
“No, you should know how to spell that it’s a very simple name.”
“Well, if you’re going to be a spelling bee-otch I’m afraid that I just can’t help you today, sir.”
“My name is Joe Smith...J as in Jammin’, O as in Octopus, E as in Enlightenment....S as in Socialism, M as in Macho, I as in Illicit, T as in Tangerine, and H as in Heavenly”
“Sir, could you stop being a spelling bee-otch for one minute here.”
“My name is Jaxq Villaxiquocal.”
“Can you spell that please, Sir.”
“No, you should know how to spell that it’s a very simple name.”
“Well, if you’re going to be a spelling bee-otch I’m afraid that I just can’t help you today, sir.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Spelling Bee-otchmug. Named after the Greek prophetess. A way of saying “I told you so” or to remind people not to complain to your ass about shit because you warned them all about the problems you saw coming a mile away.
I filed a Cassandra Claim when you hired his dumb ass so don't start in with me. I told you he was a sticky fingered shifty bastard and you still hired him so it’s your fault that he stole over $9,000 worth of stock.
I’ve got a Cassandra Claim on your boyfriend cheating on you, Beth, because I warned your ass that I saw his car parked in front of the porn store just about every night on my way home from work.
I’ve got a Cassandra Claim on your boyfriend cheating on you, Beth, because I warned your ass that I saw his car parked in front of the porn store just about every night on my way home from work.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Cassandra Claimmug.