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brett burkhardt's definitions

Secret Smoker

Someone who decries smoking during the day, but at night loves nothing more than a nice menthol.
Kim was a classic Secret Smoker. She would lecture her kids about the evils of smoking all day but, come 2 am, she would sneak behind the garage and relax with a nice cigarette.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Secret Smokermug.

Sweet 16 Succubus

A girl who acts like an out of control monster while planning her sweet 16 and should get an ass whooping instead of a party. She’ll also make outrageous demands and try to waste as much money on this event as possible.
“DADDDYYYYY!!!!! I wanted a BLACK Escalade, not a white one! You’re ruining my life!” Screamed the Sweet 16 Succubus

The Sweet 16 Succubus who’s parents had rented the yacht was rolling around screaming and crying on the floor like a five year old because the roses aren’t the right shade of pink. What a bitch.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Sweet 16 Succubusmug.

whorephaned

A person is whorephaned when they are left behind at the bar while their friend/ride leaves to have a one night stand with a stranger
Tina hated going to the bar with her hot roommate because she always ended up being whorephaned with no ride home by 1 am.
by Brett Burkhardt March 9, 2008
mugGet the whorephanedmug.

Uppity Urbanite

Someone who thinks that living downtown is the only way to go and that everyone else is an uncultured rube.
“I can’t visit her, she lives in the suburbs for God’s sake! You might as well ask me to go to the deep south or the dark heart of Africa or some other place with no running water or appletinis!” Shrieked the uppity urbanite.

“Oh...my...God....is that a cow?! Hold me, I’m scared, it’s going to be just like Deliverance
Shut the fuck up, Catherine. If you’re going to pull this uppity urbanite shit with me we will end this road trip right now.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Uppity Urbanitemug.

Guido Hair

Hair that looks greasy and disgusting from having too much product in it and can withstand winds of up to 90 miles an hour without even moving.
Anthony thought his hair was super sweet but what woman wants a man who’s hair could be used as a lethal weapon?

“March your ass upstairs right now and wash that crap out of your hair, no son of mine is leaving this house with Guido Hair.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Guido Hairmug.

Crusty tube sock

A slut. Someone who’s taken more loads than a crusty tube sock hidden under a 14 year old’s bed.
“Don’t date her, she’s a crusty tube sock.”

“I’ve known some whores in my day but that guy is the biggest crusty tube sock I’ve ever met.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Crusty tube sockmug.

Prowling for Predators

1. When police officers pretend to be pre-teens to lure out sexual predators on youth oriented websites and chat rooms.

2. When a teen goes into a sexually explicit chat room or website as if they don’t know what’s going to happen.
Robert loved his job prowling for predators. Sure pretending to be a 12 year old girl was a bit odd but he loved nothing more than busting pervs who tried to meet up with his alter ego at the park.

The girls at Stephanie’s slumber party thought it would be fun to go into the “hot nasty XXX NY/NJ” chat room and start prowling for predators until the creepy messages started.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Prowling for Predatorsmug.

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