brett burkhardt's definitions
“Don’t date her, she’s a crusty tube sock.”
“I’ve known some whores in my day but that guy is the biggest crusty tube sock I’ve ever met.”
“I’ve known some whores in my day but that guy is the biggest crusty tube sock I’ve ever met.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

“If that receptionist says one damn thing about my hair, I will declaw her ass so fast.”
"If she starts getting catty, just say something about her husband leaving her for another woman. That'll declaw her in a second."
"If she starts getting catty, just say something about her husband leaving her for another woman. That'll declaw her in a second."
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

A man on the DL who lurks around public restrooms, parks, truck stops, porn stores, the locker room and shower at the gym, etc. looking for some random stranger(s) to have sex with.
I hate going to the gym on Thursdays after work. There’s this creepy DL Lurker who always seems to be hanging around in the shower or wandering the locker room in a towel.
I swear to God, her boyfriend is a down low lurker. I see him hanging around by the library bathroom three nights a week.
I swear to God, her boyfriend is a down low lurker. I see him hanging around by the library bathroom three nights a week.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

When Jasmine figured out that slow burn comment from the girl at the bar, she was so pissed.
He’s an idiot, you can say any sort of shit to his face and it’ll be a slow burn. He won’t figure it out for days.
He’s an idiot, you can say any sort of shit to his face and it’ll be a slow burn. He won’t figure it out for days.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

When people from the coasts have an attitude about people who live in the Midwest and the Midwest in general.
If you’re going to come to town with a big bag of coastal crap then why the fuck did you decide to go to college in Iowa?
Once again, Mandy has to pull some coastal crap when she went on a rant about just how “quaint” the sushi places in Chicago are.
Once again, Mandy has to pull some coastal crap when she went on a rant about just how “quaint” the sushi places in Chicago are.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Someone who insists on getting in everyone’s face and insulting and belittling them on their food choices.
“Oh, girl, I just watched a Nutrition Nazi rip some poor girl a new asshole for having a carton of non-soy milk in her cart at the grocery store!”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

"When we go to the bar and he picks up the tab he limits us to tap beer but when I pick up the tab he insists on getting $10 martinis."
"That us such tab abuse, tell his ass he can buy his own drinks."
A common tab abuse situation.
"I forgot my purse at home, will you buy me a pack of gum and maybe a pack of smokes?"
"Sure."
"Sweet! In that case, I also need another pack of smokes, two frozen pizzas, some chips, a six pack, a box of tampons, and a bottle of vodka...oh and some orange juice..."
"That us such tab abuse, tell his ass he can buy his own drinks."
A common tab abuse situation.
"I forgot my purse at home, will you buy me a pack of gum and maybe a pack of smokes?"
"Sure."
"Sweet! In that case, I also need another pack of smokes, two frozen pizzas, some chips, a six pack, a box of tampons, and a bottle of vodka...oh and some orange juice..."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
