19 definitions by bachelor bob
A category of fatality invoked during, and due to, the self-taking of a photograph. Like a 'Darwin Award' recipient, but a true event.
Did you hear about the couple's fatal fall in Yosemite National Park while taking a cliff edge photo in October 2018? Just another case of natural selfielection.
by bachelor bob October 31, 2018
Any medication in pill form that causes a penile erection (e.g. Viagra). After the once popular breath mint "tic tac."
Viagra would be even more popular if it came in a clear dispenser, had about 100 pills for $1, was made in an array of flavors, freshened your breath, and had just 1 calorie each. Yeah, dic dacs should be sold at every check-out line.
by bachelor bob March 7, 2010
Paul: "Yo Spammond, what happened to the latest 'love of your life'?"
Kris: "After I finally hit that shit, she somehow didn't seem so perfect anymore."
Paul: "Sounds like you nutted your way out of her VDF."
Kris: "After I finally hit that shit, she somehow didn't seem so perfect anymore."
Paul: "Sounds like you nutted your way out of her VDF."
by bachelor bob January 13, 2012
ca•rap•ture | kə 'RAP chər |
noun
1. The highly publicized 'Carmageddon' event of Los Angeles, California's closure of I-405 beginning on July 16, 2011, which was in actuality as much of a non-event as the highly publicized 'Rapture' event of May 21, 2011 (i.e. car-rapture). Emphasis, both in pronunciation and interpretation, are placed on the crap component.
noun
1. The highly publicized 'Carmageddon' event of Los Angeles, California's closure of I-405 beginning on July 16, 2011, which was in actuality as much of a non-event as the highly publicized 'Rapture' event of May 21, 2011 (i.e. car-rapture). Emphasis, both in pronunciation and interpretation, are placed on the crap component.
Just like the recently predicted Rapture, lots of live T.V. reporters were standing by for the I-405's Carmageddon. Unfortunately for their ratings, it turned out to be a Carapture.
by bachelor bob July 16, 2011
Like the notorious reality distortion field (RDF) of Steve Jobs, a Vagina Distortion Field (VDF) affects perception, which thereby alters behavior. When someone is affected by a woman's VDF, every aspect of her being seemingly improves in that person's view. A woman's VDF typically only influences those who have not yet had access to said vagina. Being warped by a VDF is different than being pussy whipped. With the latter, the whipped individual behaves abnormally to maintain access to the pussy, but perception of the vagina owner is not altered. The VDF often has the greatest affect on the owner of the vagina, making her vastly overestimate her worth, influence, and potential.
Spock: "Captain, you are once again risking the lives of the entire crew in the pursuit of some green slag."
Kirk: "Mr. Spock, your libido-less Vulcan logic fails to grasp the enormity of the daily Pon Farr that starship command subjects on a man."
Spock: "Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov, move the Enterprise as far as is necessary and raise whatever shield is needed to protect the captain's mind from the insidious Vagina Distortion Field that is destroying his judgement."
Kirk: "Spawwwwwwwwwk!!!"
<cue Kirk fight music>
Kirk: "Mr. Spock, your libido-less Vulcan logic fails to grasp the enormity of the daily Pon Farr that starship command subjects on a man."
Spock: "Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov, move the Enterprise as far as is necessary and raise whatever shield is needed to protect the captain's mind from the insidious Vagina Distortion Field that is destroying his judgement."
Kirk: "Spawwwwwwwwwk!!!"
<cue Kirk fight music>
by bachelor bob January 13, 2012
n. A person who is sexually attractive due to the entirely natural state of their body; the person's defining characteristic. Not intentionally masculine, feminine, or androgynous, as those labels are continuously redefined by each society. Rather, a person who is overtly real, unmodified, and physically defined only by their genes and their interaction with the environment.
adj. (of a person) sexually attracted to unmodified people.
• involving or characterized by sexual attraction to natural body image : hikersexual desire.
adj. (of a person) sexually attracted to unmodified people.
• involving or characterized by sexual attraction to natural body image : hikersexual desire.
Oh Shari. I just can't take it anymore. All society offers me are metrosexuals, poofs, prettyboys, armchair warriors, billboard cowboys, and emos. I'm gonna' thru-hike the A.T. in hopes of finding one of those dreamy hikersexuals. You know; a *real* man!
<beeeep> Hey Bob... just wanted you to know. I threw my trophy wife out yesterday. I got tired of waking up next to someone I didn't recognize or want until after she'd spent 3 hours putting herself together every morning. I quit my job, put my place on the market, and am headed for the P.C.T. to locate one of those backcountry hikersexual babes. You know; a chick with brown body hair, everywhere nature intends.
<beeeep> Hey Bob... just wanted you to know. I threw my trophy wife out yesterday. I got tired of waking up next to someone I didn't recognize or want until after she'd spent 3 hours putting herself together every morning. I quit my job, put my place on the market, and am headed for the P.C.T. to locate one of those backcountry hikersexual babes. You know; a chick with brown body hair, everywhere nature intends.
by bachelor bob December 4, 2007
colloquialism
In India, all litter, urine, and feces eventually makes its way into the rivers, thanks to a complete lack of waste collection and water treatment, much like pre-20th Century Europe, USA/CAN, etc. Indians know this, but try not to/do not think about it, especially when 'cleansing' themselves by 'bathing' in the brownish-grey, litter and sewage filled 'sacred' waters of the Ganges/Ganga, which they further pollute with religious offerings (i.e. decorative litter) and dead bodies (not an exaggeration). Such (willful) ignorance eventually bites everyone in the ass. Ergo, any flagrant environmentally damaging human behavior can be lumped under the colloquialism 'blessing the Ganges.'
In India, all litter, urine, and feces eventually makes its way into the rivers, thanks to a complete lack of waste collection and water treatment, much like pre-20th Century Europe, USA/CAN, etc. Indians know this, but try not to/do not think about it, especially when 'cleansing' themselves by 'bathing' in the brownish-grey, litter and sewage filled 'sacred' waters of the Ganges/Ganga, which they further pollute with religious offerings (i.e. decorative litter) and dead bodies (not an exaggeration). Such (willful) ignorance eventually bites everyone in the ass. Ergo, any flagrant environmentally damaging human behavior can be lumped under the colloquialism 'blessing the Ganges.'
Cop: "Seeing how your McDonald's bag and Bacon McDouble wrapper are still stuck to my windshield, you won't mind this citation for littering."
Dwayne: "Yo, that ain't trash. That's just me usin' my's Constitutional right to freedom of religion. I was blessing the Ganges, dolla' menu style."
Elizabeth: "Why are you coming back in from outside? I thought you went to the bathroom."
Elly-May: "There was too long of a line for the one stall, so I headed for the alley beside the bar and blessed the Ganges."
Thaddeus: "Um, was that used engine oil I saw you dumping into the storm water drain this morning when I was leaving for the farmers market?!"
Ted: "Naw, Cuz. I just used 10W/40 to totally bless the Ganges."
Dwayne: "Yo, that ain't trash. That's just me usin' my's Constitutional right to freedom of religion. I was blessing the Ganges, dolla' menu style."
Elizabeth: "Why are you coming back in from outside? I thought you went to the bathroom."
Elly-May: "There was too long of a line for the one stall, so I headed for the alley beside the bar and blessed the Ganges."
Thaddeus: "Um, was that used engine oil I saw you dumping into the storm water drain this morning when I was leaving for the farmers market?!"
Ted: "Naw, Cuz. I just used 10W/40 to totally bless the Ganges."
by bachelor bob December 16, 2013