The "THANK YOU" American University List: Part 2
1. THANK YOU AU for making me walk by leaking pipe behind McKinley that shoots out mustard gas and makes my eyes burn
2. THANK YOU AU for newly installed awning that looks like Star Trek Enterprise loading dock
3. THANK YOU AU for investing in $12,000 police tricycles so public safety can get to Z-Burger more quickly
4. THANK YOU AU for letting worthless organizations disrupt lectures so they can tell class about how to save centipedes in Guatemala
5. THANK YOU AU for plastic partition between boys and girls bathroom so that I can hear girls talking about their sorority little's while having massive diarrhea
6. THANK YOU AU for such thick walls between dorm rooms that let me hear what gay neighbor has to say to his lover over phone
7. THANK YOU AU for giving former school president Ben Ladner a $3.75 million departure package even though he embezzled over a million dollars
8. THANK YOU AU for spending money on inflatable playgrounds during Spring that continue to only attract ugly girls and gay guys
9. THANK YOU AU for making school spirit consist solely of taking pride in TDR holiday meals
10. THANK YOU AU for tricking half of student body into thinking they can be president one day
"Hey John, have you been to American University this year?"
"Yeah I think so, is it the school with a 1940's bomb shelter as their library?"
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