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argonak's definitions

slipmeister

noun:

1. Literaly, a master of slipping. However, most often not associated with the act of slipping and falling, but rather the act of "slipping in" or "sneaking around".
The class had started 5 minutes ago, but Mr.Khoruzhenko slips into class undetected by the teacher.

A student whispers: "What a slipmeister..."
by Argonak April 11, 2008
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Judas Chair

This torture device, also known as the Judas Cradle, was implimented often by the Spanish Inquisition.

The victim was hoisted up by a rope and forced to sit on top of a pyramid shaped device, thereby causing rectal trauma of several kinds.
I heard that homosexuals find the Judas Chair quite pleasurefull...
by Argonak April 12, 2008
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backdoor sledgehammer

This can mean many things, all of which are (as the name implies) destructive to the recipient's anal opening.

Noun: Something which is used to inflict massive anal damage (broomhandle, monster dildo, armadillo, shoe, etc.)
Noun: The actual technique of using a tool (as described above) to pound the victim's anal opening into submission.
"After being tied down to prevent escape, the man was given a thorough backdoor sledgehammer."

"I will use this lampshade as a backdoor sledgehammer if you come near my house again."
by Argonak October 11, 2008
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Heretic's Fork

noun:

A medieval torture device which consisted of a two-sided fork which would be strapped to the victims neck so that any movement of the jaw caused extreme pain.

The victim was then forced to say the word "abiuro" which is latin for "I recant" or else they were hung or burned at the stake.

This device qualifies as a funkatron.
Tom: "I don't really think that god exists..."

Bill: "STFU or Im gonna tell the pope and he will strap a Heretic's Fork to your neck!"

Tom: "..."
by Argonak April 12, 2008
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grand chili dog

When the man slathers his veiny gopher in chili before participating in any form of sex (concentual or not).

Often utilized as an effective way to get a blowjob from a hungry obese person.
"Mrs.Folkman gave me a mean grand chili dog...the only problem was that I used spicy chili so my meat was burning for a whole week."
by Argonak April 15, 2008
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pistol rape

Just as pistol whipping implies the use of a pistol to whip a person, pistol raping involves the use of a pistol to sexualy violate a person.

Pistol rape can be carried out in several ways, and most involve the victim's orfices being penetrated in one way or another.
Phillip: "As long as I had him at gun point, I thought that I might as well pistol rape him."

Rodion: "Cool."
by Argonak April 13, 2008
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chicken tenders

noun:
1. Delicious chicken dish involving a slab of boneless chicken which is dipped and fried.

2. A term which can describe any body part that the speaker chooses.

3. Can really be substituted for any noun that the speaker chooses...if they want to make it akward.
Fatty: "I like chicken tenders"

Pedophile: "I have chicken tenders in my basement..."

Robber: "You will put the chicken tenders in the bag!"

Druggie: "So...you got any chicken tenders?"

Drug Dealer: "You want some...chicken tenders?"
by Argonak April 12, 2008
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