42 definitions by argonak

Top Definition
noun:

One of the most appaling torture devices to ever be implimented. This is an iron pincer with hemicylindrical blades that formed a long narrow tube when closed together.

The inside was lined with sharp spikes (which are often heated red-hot before use). This device was clamped to the victim's penis and once the penis has been "cooked" enough, the penis was ripped off.
When I found out what crocodile shears were I barfed.
by Argonak April 11, 2008
A particularly nasty torture/execution device.

A hollow bull is cast entirely out of brass with a door on the side. After the condemed was placed inside, the door was closed and a fire was set underneath the bull. This caused the bottom of the bull to become "red-hot" and thus burning/roasting the victim.

The head of the ox was designed with a complex system of tubes and stops so that the prisoner's screams were converted into sounds like the bellowing of an infuriated bull.
Combine the horrors of claustraphobia, suffocation, and burning at the stake, and you have the brazen bull. This is some fucked up shit.
by Argonak April 12, 2008
noun:
A torture device of many forms and shapes. The main purpose it serves is to inflict slow and excrutiating pain to the fingers or toes of a victim.

verb:
A sexual technique involving the thumb (or both thumbs) to screw or fuck their partner or victim. Usually performed in the "thumbs up" or "handshake" position.
1: After the thumbscrew was applied to the cookie monster, he confessed to taking all my cookies.

2: "If you insert your thumb in an orfice then you are thumbscrewing."
by Argonak April 11, 2008
Just as pistol whipping implies the use of a pistol to whip a person, pistol raping involves the use of a pistol to sexualy violate a person.

Pistol rape can be carried out in several ways, and most involve the victim's orfices being penetrated in one way or another.
Phillip: "As long as I had him at gun point, I thought that I might as well pistol rape him."

Rodion: "Cool."
by Argonak April 13, 2008
noun:
1. Delicious chicken dish involving a slab of boneless chicken which is dipped and fried.

2. A term which can describe any body part that the speaker chooses.

3. Can really be substituted for any noun that the speaker chooses...if they want to make it akward.
Fatty: "I like chicken tenders"

Pedophile: "I have chicken tenders in my basement..."

Robber: "You will put the chicken tenders in the bag!"

Druggie: "So...you got any chicken tenders?"

Drug Dealer: "You want some...chicken tenders?"
by Argonak April 11, 2008
noun:

A tool utilized in Medieval Europe to punish those who commit sodomy, heracy, etc.

This pearshaped tool with spikes is inserted into one of said victim's orfices and via a screw is cranked open, causing severe internal mutilation.
At first the pear can be pleasureful...but not for long.
by Argonak April 12, 2008
When the man slathers his veiny gopher in chili before participating in any form of sex (concentual or not).

Often utilized as an effective way to get a blowjob from a hungry obese person.
"Mrs.Folkman gave me a mean grand chili dog...the only problem was that I used spicy chili so my meat was burning for a whole week."
by Argonak April 15, 2008

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