42 definitions by argonak

Top Definition
A particularly nasty torture/execution device.

A hollow bull is cast entirely out of brass with a door on the side. After the condemed was placed inside, the door was closed and a fire was set underneath the bull. This caused the bottom of the bull to become "red-hot" and thus burning/roasting the victim.

The head of the ox was designed with a complex system of tubes and stops so that the prisoner's screams were converted into sounds like the bellowing of an infuriated bull.
Combine the horrors of claustraphobia, suffocation, and burning at the stake, and you have the brazen bull. This is some fucked up shit.
by Argonak April 12, 2008
noun:

One of the most appaling torture devices to ever be implimented. This is an iron pincer with hemicylindrical blades that formed a long narrow tube when closed together.

The inside was lined with sharp spikes (which are often heated red-hot before use). This device was clamped to the victim's penis and once the penis has been "cooked" enough, the penis was ripped off.
When I found out what crocodile shears were I barfed.
by Argonak April 11, 2008
Just as pistol whipping implies the use of a pistol to whip a person, pistol raping involves the use of a pistol to sexualy violate a person.

Pistol rape can be carried out in several ways, and most involve the victim's orfices being penetrated in one way or another.
Phillip: "As long as I had him at gun point, I thought that I might as well pistol rape him."

Rodion: "Cool."
by Argonak April 13, 2008
noun:
A torture device of many forms and shapes. The main purpose it serves is to inflict slow and excrutiating pain to the fingers or toes of a victim.

verb:
A sexual technique involving the thumb (or both thumbs) to screw or fuck their partner or victim. Usually performed in the "thumbs up" or "handshake" position.
1: After the thumbscrew was applied to the cookie monster, he confessed to taking all my cookies.

2: "If you insert your thumb in an orfice then you are thumbscrewing."
by Argonak April 11, 2008
noun:

A tool utilized in Medieval Europe to punish those who commit sodomy, heracy, etc.

This pearshaped tool with spikes is inserted into one of said victim's orfices and via a screw is cranked open, causing severe internal mutilation.
At first the pear can be pleasureful...but not for long.
by Argonak April 12, 2008
When the man slathers his veiny gopher in chili before participating in any form of sex (concentual or not).

Often utilized as an effective way to get a blowjob from a hungry obese person.
"Mrs.Folkman gave me a mean grand chili dog...the only problem was that I used spicy chili so my meat was burning for a whole week."
by Argonak April 15, 2008
A piss battle can be one of several types of piss oriented competition.

1. The contestants simply see who pisses farther...or pisses more. AKA a pissing contest.

2. The two contenders attach their urinary tracts via some form of tube with the use of a waterproofing substance and a glue of some sort. The two people proceed to drink a defined amount of a liquid (say one gallon per person or something of the sort)...then the waiting begins.

The two people then begin to piss. As the urge to urinate increases an epic piss battle begins to ensue. The golden liquid will then be pushed between the two people until eventually one of the combatant's bladders bursts. (More liquid may be ingested by combatants if a stalemate ensues or if not enough liquid is present for a bladder bursting...or surrender.)

History: Piss battles have been an effective way of testing the manhood of males for centuries. Since the prowess in battle is directly linked to the genitals of the combatant, the winner is said to be more sexually potent then the loser.
Piss battles rarely end with death as it takes a surprising amount of pressure to burst the bladder. The ones that DO end in death are particularly heinous. The victim will endure crippling pain and if untreated immediately setpic shock.

Piss battles are known to cause cancer in the state of California.
by Argonak April 13, 2008

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