The abbreviated version of "Suck my Dick", used for texting and online chat purposes.
Bill: why didnt you show up at the bar last night? we waited
Bill: uncalled for
Ted: Garg the Smeg
When you miss a day or more of taking a dump and feel a little backed up, and then one glorious morning you drop a huge log and can clearly see, upon close inspection, that your shit log, while still one continuous piece, is split into two or more distinct sections. Each section of the log will have its own consistency/color and can, upon VERY close inspection, be classified by each backed-up day since the last dump. In rare situations and requiring years of training, one can produce the perfect Neopolitan Dump with three distinct sections: white, brown and pink.
Frank: Damn Tom, you should’ve seen this massive and magnificent dump I took this morning.
Tom: What was so amazing about it?
Frank: Well, I’ve been so backed up over the past few days, moving from Mexican to Thai to Japanese to Greek, that my log came out and had three distinct sections… each with its own color and consistency. I’ve never seen anything like it!!
Tom: I’ve heard of such dumps… they are the very rare and awe inspiring Neopolitan Dump. Did you take a picture?
Frank: You damn right I took a picture… check it out (hands Tom picture)
Tom: Garg the Smeg
Frank: WoW Noz
This is a person who would rather play WoW (World of Warcraft) instead of anything else... "anything else" being more respectable than playing WoW. This person, with regards to playing WoW, is a Noz (short for Douche Nozzle).
Andy: Hey, what's doing tonight?
Aaron: I got a raid from 6-11
Andy: Christ man, 5 hours of the same shit over and over...
Aaron: Every Wed, Thurs and Sun
Andy: You are a verifiable WoW Noz
Andy: Garg the Smeg
The sexual act of partially inserting ones penis into a female's (or male's if that's the way you swing) nostril, and emptying your bladder. Because of the anatomy of the sinus cavity, pee will come shooting out the other nostril... thus cleaning out the sinus of any impurities, more or less. Like the Neti Pot.
Shannon: what the helll do you think you are doing? get your penis away from my nose!
Andy: ever heard of the Neti Pot, or Neti Squeeze?
Shannon: yes, but what does that... oh no you don't!!!
Andy: oh yes I do... hold on tight, shut your eyes, here comes the Neti Pee. SHAZAAAAM!!
The act of loading enough smegma in your mouth to effectively gargle it.
I hope to christ that there is no man out there that accumulates enough smegma for another to effectively garg the smeg.