al benedict's definitions
Telling someone that the solution to a problem is to simply not do anything that exposes the flaw that causes the problem. From the old Henny Youngman joke: "Doctor, it hurts when I do this!" "Don't do that." Usually, but not always, associated with computers.
"The program crashes when I try to print!"
"Don't try to print."
"Do you have a real solution or just a Henny Youngman solution?"
"Don't try to print."
"Do you have a real solution or just a Henny Youngman solution?"
by Al Benedict January 4, 2008
Get the Henny Youngman solution mug.In theory, any form of Rock and Roll that requires a prefix to add focus: Emo Rock, Folk Rock, Punk Rock etc. In practice, a term used to describe a form of rock music that the speaker doesn't consider "authentic".
by Al Benedict April 4, 2008
Get the Prefix Rock mug.A bruise that consists of an inner white circle (dead skin) surrounded by a blue ring (regular bruise) surrounded by a red ring (pissed off capillaries).
Red, white and blue. Get it?
A badge of honor in close contact, high velocity sports like Racquetball.
Red, white and blue. Get it?
A badge of honor in close contact, high velocity sports like Racquetball.
by Al Benedict October 18, 2020
Get the patriot bruise mug.Setting up your house to ward off long term ninja infestations. It's considered impossible to keep ninjas out entirely. In fact, attempting to do so can attract their attention and just make the problem worse.
1) Coat the walls and ceilings with steel backed teflon. If the steel isn't thick enough, they can still use their claws. Make sure it's at least a 1/4 inch thick.
2) Install random rotating magnets. This makes it difficult to throw shurikens accurately.
3) Set up a DVD of old "Kung Fu" reruns in infinite reply. Warning: This may cause Seppuku incidents, which are really messy. Take my word on it. Spread plastic in front of the TV.
Avoid using pirates. I know it's tempting, but they're worse than ninjas (really loud and smelly and treasure chests are hard to find).
1) Coat the walls and ceilings with steel backed teflon. If the steel isn't thick enough, they can still use their claws. Make sure it's at least a 1/4 inch thick.
2) Install random rotating magnets. This makes it difficult to throw shurikens accurately.
3) Set up a DVD of old "Kung Fu" reruns in infinite reply. Warning: This may cause Seppuku incidents, which are really messy. Take my word on it. Spread plastic in front of the TV.
Avoid using pirates. I know it's tempting, but they're worse than ninjas (really loud and smelly and treasure chests are hard to find).
by Al Benedict December 3, 2010
Get the Ninja Proofing mug.A member of the species Homo Sapiens, esp. when being discussed in a way that only makes sense in an anthropological context. Popularized by Howard the Duck.
by Al Benedict October 2, 2008
Get the Hairless Ape mug.Someone that is terribly, terribly offended at the very thought of being accused of being a NIMBY, but refuses on the grounds of "reasonable concerns" to allow any development in their area.
"OMG. The Traffic!"
"Been studied. It will be fine."
"OMG. The Sewage!"
"We're only using 1/3 of what we have."
"OMG! My view!"
"Of what? You won't even be able see it through your trees."
"Why are you being this way?"
"Because you're a total cryptonimby"
"Been studied. It will be fine."
"OMG. The Sewage!"
"We're only using 1/3 of what we have."
"OMG! My view!"
"Of what? You won't even be able see it through your trees."
"Why are you being this way?"
"Because you're a total cryptonimby"
by Al Benedict October 26, 2018
Get the cryptonimby mug.A phrase used by someone who wants any critical analysis of what they are saying to stop immediately.
by Al Benedict June 11, 2009
Get the Common Sense mug.