al benedict's definitions
A shibboleth that people that believe that the English language should be static use to find each other.
Kind of like a secret fraternity handshake.
Kind of like a secret fraternity handshake.
Q: "What is the correct way to say a word is not spelled properly?"
A: "Oh god. You're one of those 'misspelt' dumbasses, aren't you? Shoo! The thumbs down button is up and to the right."
A: "Oh god. You're one of those 'misspelt' dumbasses, aren't you? Shoo! The thumbs down button is up and to the right."
by Al Benedict August 21, 2011
Get the misspelt mug.Term used to identify recent arrivals to upper class areas in San Francisco nervous that they don't fit in.
Do they freak out and correct you when you use it? You've found a newbie.
Do they freak out and correct you when you use it? You've found a newbie.
Bob: "Nice weather for Frisco"
Bill: "Never call it Frisco! It's an insult! Only people that aren't from around here use the term!"
Bob: "How long have you lived here?"
Bill: "Three years. More than enough to be a local."
Bill: "Never call it Frisco! It's an insult! Only people that aren't from around here use the term!"
Bob: "How long have you lived here?"
Bill: "Three years. More than enough to be a local."
by Al Benedict September 17, 2013
Get the Frisco mug.When something malfunctions by virtue of not existing at all. Taken (but not precisely) from "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". In the original usage, a spaceship existed for a while and then spontaneously disappeared.
by Al Benedict October 22, 2009
Get the Total Existence Failure mug.Someone that is terribly, terribly offended at the very thought of being accused of being a NIMBY, but refuses on the grounds of "reasonable concerns" to allow any development in their area.
"OMG. The Traffic!"
"Been studied. It will be fine."
"OMG. The Sewage!"
"We're only using 1/3 of what we have."
"OMG! My view!"
"Of what? You won't even be able see it through your trees."
"Why are you being this way?"
"Because you're a total cryptonimby"
"Been studied. It will be fine."
"OMG. The Sewage!"
"We're only using 1/3 of what we have."
"OMG! My view!"
"Of what? You won't even be able see it through your trees."
"Why are you being this way?"
"Because you're a total cryptonimby"
by Al Benedict October 26, 2018
Get the cryptonimby mug.A phone call in which you choose your words carefully in an attempt to maintain a coherent conversation with the person on the end of the line while giving a completely different impression of what the conversation is about to anyone standing next to you. Usually involves more than the usual number of pronouns.
From "Tuvan Throat Singing", where you sing two different notes at once.
From "Tuvan Throat Singing", where you sing two different notes at once.
I had a Tuvan Phone Call last night with my girlfriend. We went on for half an hour and my Grandma had no idea we were having phone sex.
by Al Benedict April 17, 2010
Get the Tuvan Phone Call mug.Resort to extreme measures. A metaphor for putting aside conventional weapons and using nuclear ones.
"They aren't taking the hint? OK, time to bring the nuke and tell them to cut it out or we'll drag them off the premises."
by Al Benedict January 15, 2022
Get the bring the nuke mug.Driving a car with a small child in your lap. In the event of an accident, the child's body will help protect you from injury by cushioning the blow between yourself and the steering wheel.
Bob: Should you be talking on your cellphone while you're driving?
Bill: Relax, I'm Airbagging with the kid. Even if I hit something, I'll be fine.
Bill: Relax, I'm Airbagging with the kid. Even if I hit something, I'll be fine.
by Al Benedict April 15, 2008
Get the Airbagging with the kid mug.