al benedict's definitions
Driving a car with a small child in your lap. In the event of an accident, the child's body will help protect you from injury by cushioning the blow between yourself and the steering wheel.
Bob: Should you be talking on your cellphone while you're driving?
Bill: Relax, I'm Airbagging with the kid. Even if I hit something, I'll be fine.
Bill: Relax, I'm Airbagging with the kid. Even if I hit something, I'll be fine.
by Al Benedict April 15, 2008
Get the Airbagging with the kid mug.A phone call in which you choose your words carefully in an attempt to maintain a coherent conversation with the person on the end of the line while giving a completely different impression of what the conversation is about to anyone standing next to you. Usually involves more than the usual number of pronouns.
From "Tuvan Throat Singing", where you sing two different notes at once.
From "Tuvan Throat Singing", where you sing two different notes at once.
I had a Tuvan Phone Call last night with my girlfriend. We went on for half an hour and my Grandma had no idea we were having phone sex.
by Al Benedict April 17, 2010
Get the Tuvan Phone Call mug.Derogatory term for someone politically far to either the right or left. Implies an unwillingness to evaluate issues one at a time.
If there's one thing wingers can unite around, it's their hatred of moderates.
I'm anti rent control, pro gun control, pro abortion and think welfare should be tightened. Something for every winger to hate on.
I'm anti rent control, pro gun control, pro abortion and think welfare should be tightened. Something for every winger to hate on.
by Al Benedict July 2, 2024
Get the winger mug.The only concession to safety that a motorcycle needs. Time was, you were expected to wear visible clothing and a helmet and drive predictably. Now it's OK to dress completely in black (no helmet) and pop in and out of lanes at will. As long as you have really loud, low pitched, non-directional exhaust noise.
Loud pipes endanger lives.
Loud pipes endanger lives.
"Boy, these loud pipes rock. Everybody takes their eyes off the road to figure out where the hell the racket is coming from and get into massive pileups. Then I just drive around the mess."
by Al Benedict June 4, 2013
Get the Loud Pipes mug.When something malfunctions by virtue of not existing at all. Taken (but not precisely) from "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". In the original usage, a spaceship existed for a while and then spontaneously disappeared.
by Al Benedict October 22, 2009
Get the Total Existence Failure mug.A phrase used by someone who wants any critical analysis of what they are saying to stop immediately.
by Al Benedict June 11, 2009
Get the Common Sense mug.Term used to identify recent arrivals to upper class areas in San Francisco nervous that they don't fit in.
Do they freak out and correct you when you use it? You've found a newbie.
Do they freak out and correct you when you use it? You've found a newbie.
Bob: "Nice weather for Frisco"
Bill: "Never call it Frisco! It's an insult! Only people that aren't from around here use the term!"
Bob: "How long have you lived here?"
Bill: "Three years. More than enough to be a local."
Bill: "Never call it Frisco! It's an insult! Only people that aren't from around here use the term!"
Bob: "How long have you lived here?"
Bill: "Three years. More than enough to be a local."
by Al Benedict September 17, 2013
Get the Frisco mug.