Virgin Suicides's definitions

that's gay

stupid, sophomoric, reflexive response used by countless dull witted boobs who, in their many years on this planet, have yet to increase their vocabularies much less their minds (or hearts).

Me : Awwwww ... Chris Cornell of Soundgarden was found dead yesterday. Mannnnn ... (sorrow)
Dipshit Standing Next To Me : huh, that's gay

Me : WHA ? WTF - are you still in high school or somethin' ? That's your response ?

Dispshit Standing Next To Me : Eat Me
Me : No - up yours, fucktard. Guess YOU won't be getting a genius grant from the MacArthur fellowship anytime soon.

by Virgin Suicides May 20, 2017

tit shop

the clinic for plastic surgeons specializing in breast enhancement procedures.

Gina : say Carla, I'm feeling a bit flat in the chest area, let's go to the tit shop and buy us some boobs !
Carla: Great ! I hear they're having a special this month, too ' buy two boobs, get a third free'. Guess that's just in case one deflates or falls off or something.

Gina : Awesome !

by Virgin Suicides April 23, 2017

fascism

simply put, when capitalism gets MEAN.

Untold numbers of african-american communities have been decimated by government-ordered imprisonment of their largely male populations; low wage McDonald's and Walmart service jobs have been touted as reputable career options for some time now; the national economy is officially at full capacity despite millions of current unemployed and underemployed workers; the president says he openly admires the Russian prime minister and the way he manages its' kleptocratic economic and political systems; the 1% vs. the 99%. This is fascism.

by Virgin Suicides April 21, 2017

15 minutes

about the time required these days when passing from one celebrity and corresponding fad to another, anyway one can achieve it.

Celebrity 1 : I was the 'it' girl in southwest Tanzania way back in 1979 !
Celebrity 2 : I was short listed for a Golden Globe for Best Sound Check Edit way back in 1985 !
Celebrity 3 : I was photographed with Cameron Crowe in 1996 - wayyyyy before he made 'Almost Famous'
Me : Really ? And I'm Gwyneth Paltrow's 49th cousin 117 times removed - on her great, great uncle's side - for anyone who's counting. Guess we all try for our 15 minutes anyway we can get them. LOL

by Virgin Suicides May 20, 2017

catholic accident

The child caboose in a (roman) catholic family, generally several to many older siblings, normally younger by as many as five years or more. Most know the Church is vehemently against abortion (duh), but it also highly disapproves of birth control, as well. This makes the likelihood of accidental / unplanned births among the most devout families almost an inevitability.

In the O'Callahan family of Medford, there are six children : Mary, Patrick, the identical twins Rory and Maile, Kathleen, and Kevin. Did I forget someone ? Oh, yes, a seventh - Edward, called Teddy by everyone else, although the twins jokingly refer to him as John Thomas behind his back as he is seven years (!) behind the next youngest sibling. Teddy is the caboose of the family, or more appropriately, the Catholic Accident, as his birth was something of a surprise (i.e., unplanned).

by Virgin Suicides April 17, 2017

loser collector

akin to creep magnet; someone for whom, no matter what they try to consciously avoid, always wind up, one way or another, with the same bunch of chumps, dorks, dweebs, idiots, morons, pussys, yutzes, et al as unwanted acquaintances, no matter where they go to school, what job they work, or what city they live in.

Me : hey, wanna see my collection of losers ? I've been an avid loser collector for years, often without even trying, it seems. I even tried to unload them all on Craigslist a few times, but no one seems to be in the market for losers. Go figure.

by Virgin Suicides May 12, 2017

guy's heaven

beer, farts and boobs - not necessarily in that order.

There I was ... all slobbed out : sitting on my fat ass, drinking beer, blasting huge farts and watching scantily clad women walk by with all of their huge, pendulous cleavage hanging out. And I thought 'is this Iowa ?' (Field Of Dreams Homage). No, it's heaven. Guy's heaven.

by Virgin Suicides October 27, 2017