Virgin Suicides's definitions

run a clear out

1. an offensive strategy in NBA basketball, whereby (since zone defenses are illegal) four players spread out several feet from the basket, thus taking their defenders with them, while allowing the ball handler to go one-on-one with the remaining defender, either opening up an opportunity to 'take it to the hole' or kicking the ball out to an open man for a potential three pointer.

2. any strategy used by an individual (or individuals) to remove several persons from a given area for the purposes of a one-on-one maneuver or encounter.

Alpha Dog At Club: Man, I'd like to hookup with that hottie across the room, but she's surrounded by four peeps who I know she's not interested in.
Alpha Dog's Wingman : So, why don't you just walk up, shove those fake players aside and show her who's boss ?
Alpha Dog: Naw, she might think I'm an asshole. I'd rather she think I was a gentleman.
Wingman : Okay, then let me recruit four memes from your entourage and we'll run a clear out . Then you can approach her one-on-one.
Alpha Dog: Now you're thinking !

by Virgin Suicides July 22, 2017

naked makeout lady

nerdspeak for female fuck buddy.

Nerd : hey, wanna be my naked makeout lady for the forseeable future ?
Woman : hmmm, that sounds like nerdspeak for something. Since I don't have my 'Nerdspeak To English' dictionary with me, what does it mean ?
Nerd : well, in your language it means 'female fuck buddy'.
Woman : Oh. Well, no thank you.
Nerd : Well, have intercourse in that direction, you birther of canine puppies.
Woman : More nerdspeak ?
Nerd : Yep.
Woman : what could 'have intercourse in that direction, you birther of canine puppies' possibly mean ?
Nerd : it means, 'fuck you, bitch' !

by Virgin Suicides June 7, 2017

666

The number of letters in President Reagan's first, last and middle names.

First Name : Ronald . Total # of letters - 6;
Middle Name : Wilson . Total # of letters - 6;
Last Name : Reagan . Total # of letters - 6.

666.

Gee, doesn't this make him the Anti-Christ ?

by Virgin Suicides April 20, 2018

15 minutes

about the time required these days when passing from one celebrity and corresponding fad to another, anyway one can achieve it.

Celebrity 1 : I was the 'it' girl in southwest Tanzania way back in 1979 !
Celebrity 2 : I was short listed for a Golden Globe for Best Sound Check Edit way back in 1985 !
Celebrity 3 : I was photographed with Cameron Crowe in 1996 - wayyyyy before he made 'Almost Famous'
Me : Really ? And I'm Gwyneth Paltrow's 49th cousin 117 times removed - on her great, great uncle's side - for anyone who's counting. Guess we all try for our 15 minutes anyway we can get them. LOL

by Virgin Suicides May 20, 2017

nowhere in particular

phrase derived from author James Howard Kunstler's influential work 'The Geography Of Nowhere' which, like similar tomes with a social conscience (e.g., 'Fast Food Nation', 'Bowling Alone', et al), challenged Americans to reassess the plight of their urban/suburban landscapes, especially since the end of World War Two. What Kunstler found was a terrain blighted by shopping and strip malls, fast food restaurants, twelve lane super highways, shoddily constructed business and residential developments or what he referred to as 'cartoon architecture'.

Bill : say Tom, where are you living these days ?
Tom : oh, out on 197th Mile Rd. in Paradise County, just east of the Rolling Meadows gated community, adjacent to a Chuckie Cheese's and Major Magic's Pizza Revue, in between the 467th and 468th exit and on ramps to the eighteen lane Interstate, right behind the Wonderland strip mall, right next to a nature band-aid consisting of wood chips and one-foot tall shrubs.
Bill : Wow. In other words, nowhere in particular.
Tom : That's right ! Ain't this country great !

by Virgin Suicides July 13, 2017

guy's heaven

beer, farts and boobs - not necessarily in that order.

There I was ... all slobbed out : sitting on my fat ass, drinking beer, blasting huge farts and watching scantily clad women walk by with all of their huge, pendulous cleavage hanging out. And I thought 'is this Iowa ?' (Field Of Dreams Homage). No, it's heaven. Guy's heaven.

by Virgin Suicides October 27, 2017

the mysteriously vanishing 40-year old actress

The worst kept secret in American entertainment - be it film, stage or television : be a woman, be an actor and turn 40 years old, and your career is effectively over. You're done.

The American actress Hilary Swank a few years back played the lead in a film called 'Amelia', a biopic about Amelia Earhart. Earhart, for those of you who may not recall, was a famous early 20th century American female aviator who, at the age of 40, mysteriously disappeared and was never seen again. Ever. Which, when you think about it, is right up Hollywood's alley because if you're an actress and you're in Tinseltown and you turn 40, you disappear, too. Never seen again. Never. Ever. The mysteriously vanishing 40-year old actress.

by Virgin Suicides November 5, 2017