32 definitions by Vampira Andres
The worst writer in the history of the world. Known for her shitty Twilight series, her books make me sick. If you're thinking about reading Twilight, don't. It's all about some weak ass slut who's afraid of her own shadow who is also anorexic and falls in love with a "vampire". He's really just some stupid fuck who wears body glitter to be more attractive, but makes him look gay and climbs trees. Both Bella and Edward combined have the intelligence of a jellyfish (meaning that both of them have no brains). All they like to do is have sex with each other. So Stephanie Meyer is a really bad writer who can't take criticism.
Damn, I really want to send Stephanie Meyer some negative feedback.
I'm on team Dracula if anything.
I'm on team Dracula if anything.
by Vampira Andres January 8, 2019
Next to porn and horror movies, Cocomelon is one of the absolute worst things to let your child watch.
Things you will notice in your kid if you let them watch Cocomelon:
1. An increase in tantrums.
2. Delays in mental development.
3. Withdraw symptoms similar to what a smoker might go through mentally when trying to quit smoking if the child goes for a certain amount of time without watching it.
4. Verbal impairment.
Things you will notice in your kid if you let them watch Cocomelon:
1. An increase in tantrums.
2. Delays in mental development.
3. Withdraw symptoms similar to what a smoker might go through mentally when trying to quit smoking if the child goes for a certain amount of time without watching it.
4. Verbal impairment.
Yeh, I babysat a little girl who watched Cocomelon, and I could hardly understand anything she'd try to say. I'm not being mean when I say she needs to stop watching Cocomelon and begin going to speech therapy so people can understand her. Fuck Cocomelon!
by Vampira Andres July 12, 2023
A fucking delicious mocktail that you should try!
Ingredients:
1 can Monster Zero Sugar (the red or white can)
1/2 cup Daily's Strawberry Mix (alcohol free)
A few squirts of liquid fruit punch or cherry drink mix
Directions:
Put ingredients into a cup or a bottle with a lid, then shake. Pour over ice in a glass, then garnish with a cocktail umbrella and fruit of your choice if you wanna get fancy. Add a couple shots of cherry or strawberry vodka for a Drunk Bleeding Lili if desired.
WARNING:
DO NOT DRINK IF YOU'RE PREGNANT, BREASTFEEDING, OR CAFFEINE SENSITIVE! NOT RECOMMENDED FOR YOUNG CHILDREN. CONSUMING TOO MUCH CAN CAUSE HEART PROBLEMS. DRINK RESPONSIBLY!
Ingredients:
1 can Monster Zero Sugar (the red or white can)
1/2 cup Daily's Strawberry Mix (alcohol free)
A few squirts of liquid fruit punch or cherry drink mix
Directions:
Put ingredients into a cup or a bottle with a lid, then shake. Pour over ice in a glass, then garnish with a cocktail umbrella and fruit of your choice if you wanna get fancy. Add a couple shots of cherry or strawberry vodka for a Drunk Bleeding Lili if desired.
WARNING:
DO NOT DRINK IF YOU'RE PREGNANT, BREASTFEEDING, OR CAFFEINE SENSITIVE! NOT RECOMMENDED FOR YOUNG CHILDREN. CONSUMING TOO MUCH CAN CAUSE HEART PROBLEMS. DRINK RESPONSIBLY!
Damn, it was a long day at work! Since I'm not old enough to drink, I'll make a Bleeding Lili, and drink that while I eat a cheese steak sandwich from Boxwood Café.
by Vampira Andres September 14, 2021
Someone who uses herbs like sage or lavander to make potions for spells and uses a wax melter as a cauldron like i do. Generally to benefit herself or others.
by Vampira Andres October 22, 2018
1. A six sided box that we all end up in
2. What vampires sleep in during the day after drinking blood all night
2. What vampires sleep in during the day after drinking blood all night
Barnabas Collins: There were so many women that had delicious blood in their veins last night! The sun's about to rise, so I better go downstairs and get in my coffin.
Willie Loomis: Uhh... Barnabas, the sheriff was here earlier. He wanted to ask you about what happened to Sky Rumson.
Barnabas Collins: Ugh, of course. Can't tell the sheriff that I made that bastard shoot himself, so I'll just say he shot himself.
Julia Hoffmann: Barnabas, before you go downstairs, I need to tell you that you'll be receiving your final injection at just before dawn tomorrow.
Barnabas Collins: Very well. If the sheriff comes by later, tell him I'm not here, but he can come back tonight after dark.
Willie Loomis: Uhh... Barnabas, the sheriff was here earlier. He wanted to ask you about what happened to Sky Rumson.
Barnabas Collins: Ugh, of course. Can't tell the sheriff that I made that bastard shoot himself, so I'll just say he shot himself.
Julia Hoffmann: Barnabas, before you go downstairs, I need to tell you that you'll be receiving your final injection at just before dawn tomorrow.
Barnabas Collins: Very well. If the sheriff comes by later, tell him I'm not here, but he can come back tonight after dark.
by Vampira Andres May 29, 2023