26 definitions by Urban humor

Sexual Distancing

The excuse you are given when your significant other doesn’t want to have sex and has run out of all other excuses.

Him: How about we go to bed and get busy?
Her: We shouldn’t because the government issued a mandate on sexual distancing and I don’t want to run the risk of hurting you.
Him: That is total BS.

by Urban humor March 18, 2020

Hurricane Anal

When a hurricane passes by you on the coast, but circles back and comes in the back door.

Bob: Hurricane Matthew is a Cat 4 coming our way!
Tom: I know, but it's coming back for some Hurricane Anal as a 2!

by Urban humor October 6, 2016

Trump Golf

The art of lying about anything on the golf course

Trump: I had a hole-in-one today
Ivanka: You didn't play golf today daddy
Trump: I had 3 hole-in-ones today and one was on a par 6 and it skipped through the water before it hit a democrat in the head going through his brain and went in the hole
Ivanka: So you played Trump Golf again!

by Urban humor August 24, 2017

trumpis

A penis so small it's owner has to defend its' existence

Carol: I finally hooked up with Bob and he has a Trumpis.

Cindy: I'm sorry, did he try to tell you it was over an inch long?
Carol: yes, and then he said it was Bigly!

by Urban humor June 27, 2017

wipelash

Injury caused by attempting to wipe too fast from behind.

gary: I really hurt my wrist this morning.

Sheila: what happened?
Gary: I took a bad poop and tried to wipe too fast. Now I've got wipelash!

by Urban humor August 12, 2017

Painting the Porcelain

When the food you pass explodes in the toilet and there is no white left to be seen

I had Mexican for dinner last night and within 2 hours I was sitting in the bathroom Painting the Porcelain. Why don't they just make toilets in brown?

by Urban humor May 23, 2017

jizinal

A device found in upscale restaurants and homes for the purpose of male masturbation and the "catching of the jizz"

We had dinner at a 5 Star steak restaurant and it was so good when I finished I had to use the jizinal to release my pleasure!

by Urban humor September 24, 2015