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11 definitions by Ur Daddie

 
1.
A pro crastinator is someone who takes procrastination to the next level.

The pro crastinator's motto is "Why put off something until tomorrow that I can put off until the day after tomorrow?"
Jim: It's April 30th. Did you get your tax refund back yet?

Joe: It's April already?

Jim: Joe, you aren't a procrastinator, you are a pro crastinator. Pass me your bong.
by Ur Daddie March 01, 2011
 
2.
A clusterfuckturducken phenomena is when a brand new clusterfuck muddle develops inside of a preexisting clusterfuck predicament. If you are observing several unbelievably deeply embedded clusterfuckturducken layers, most likely the outer layer is your federal government.
Bro, “no-fly zone” is a euphemism for war. Obama is getting in touch with his inner neocon by following France’s (of all countries) non-US national security risk-justified military incursion in a pseudo-country which is at best a loose collection of like 150 Arab tribes – mainly to protect European oil interests but in the guise of protecting armed anti-establishment Libyan rebels.

We have no congressionally certified entrance or exit strategy. UN Security Council Russian, Chinese, Indian, Brazilian and German members don’t support this. Defense Secretary Robert Gates himself warned against this. This whole thing could have been avoided by judicious CIA pressure on Gaddafi weeks ago before the killing started. Obama is now trying to wash his hands of this mission by handing, can you imagine, control of our US military over to some international political steering committee. All this during a time period when the US is already in two Middle Eastern wars, we are already in financial in dire straits, and Muslim nations worldwide are already significantly anti-US.

Has Obama even considered that he is unintended-consequence-like aligning with anti-Gaddafi Libyan al-Qaeda affiliates? After Obama specifically campaigned on his constitutional law professor opinion that US presidents do not have the power under our constitution to unilaterally authorize military attacks? The graphic of this make-it-up-as-you-go plan is a complicated embedded venn-diagram-like clusterfuckturducken.
by Ur Daddie March 23, 2011
 
3.
A Charlie Sheen is an enormous outrageously excessive kitchen-sink like cocktail of alcoholic and chemical intoxicants which will without any doubt immediately kill anybody whose heart does not pump Charlie Sheen's tiger blood, and which will surely be responsible some day for killing its namesake as well.

Often otherwise known as “a suicide” or "a 911".

Often served by hookers who plan to later steal your wallet.

Children, do not try this at home. Immediately call 911 if you even hear someone discussing let alone preparing a Charlie Sheen.
Coroner’s report: Just one more idiot who either was suicidal or who said to himself, “Ya, that makes sense to me, I got tiger blood too; I think I’ll make myself a Charlie Sheen”.
by Ur Daddie March 01, 2011
 
4.
Refers to the legal case in which Henry Louis Gates Jr, a Harvard Professor who teaches, among other topics, identity politics issues such as racial profiling accuses sergeant James Crowley of the Cambridge police force, who himself teaches other Cambridge police officers about racial profiling and how to avoid it, of racial profiling when sergeant Crowley arrested Professor Gates for disorderly conduct on July 16th 2009.
Pete: What's up with that thing about that black Harvard professor accusing the white cop of racial profiling?

John: Ya I've seen it. It's Gates gate. It's all over the news. Now get your fat brown eye off the remote so I can watch Red Eye.
by Ur Daddie July 24, 2009
 
5.
Excessive texting. Texterrhea is to texting what the galloping Hershey’s is to crapping.
Nancy: Every since that POS Jim broke up with his GF Sally, she’s had a nasty case of texterrhea.
Sam: AYTMTB?
Nancy: FU
Sam: A3
by Ur Daddie March 12, 2009
 
6.
Congressional legislation plugged as economic stimulus but crammed to the gills with pork and special projects.
Barack and Nancy's porculus bills were so obese they choked the US economy and contributed to the resulting Obama Depression.
by Ur Daddie March 12, 2009
 
7.
Viagrated political rhetoric found totally missing after a cursory double-o.

“He doesn’t have a chance.”

“What? You been ripping the bong dude? He'll win the nomination and the election because the average voting American can't detect vapor politics even when it's blowing their skirt.”
by Ur Daddie February 22, 2008