15 definitions by Uncle Kurtie

Top Definition
When your giant clam basher performs so well that your woman advertises to her friends causing your dance card to be full at all times.
She has a lot of little hottie girlfriends, so I gave her the all pro cock hammer! My phone hasn't stopped ringing !
by Uncle Kurtie October 21, 2006

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Titties that look like two fried eggs nailed to a 2x4. More commonly referred to as " banana titties ". Generally found on women that you wouldn't fuck on a bet.
We were at the party, she took off her shirt and scared the shit out of the whole crowd with her gnarly skim milk titties.
by uncle kurtie November 13, 2006

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Its when youre three days out from your last nut shave, and the stubble causes a rash on your partners chin and ass cheeks.
Beth: Maggie, what happned to your face?
Maggie: That goddamn Chuck has a bad case of stubble nuts, it's killin me!
Beth: Lets go buy him some edge gel or somthin'!
by Uncle Kurtie April 26, 2007

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Its when you're receiving a little head from your newest chick, you're kicked back in the reclining position. All the sudden you realize that this is the GREATEST blowjob ever. It feels like she has three hands wrapped on your junk. The balls are warm, the shaft is being massaged in two directions, it's like heaven for your package!
Dude, I was half asleep when she started, by the time she was done with the three hand magic, I blew like a buffalo!
by Uncle Kurtie May 31, 2007

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A girl so big and nasty that there's no other term to describe her. Generally over 5'9", over 200 pounds and lacking in hygeine.
Dude, look at that heinous bush pig! I haven't seen one so rough since last week when you caught the clap!
by Uncle Kurtie November 09, 2006

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It's the reverberating sound your nuts make against her ass when you're drilling your skank in a mens room stall.
Dude, you shoulda heard the schmecho tonite while I was bustin it with your sister in the can!
by Uncle Kurtie November 09, 2006

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Its when the labia of your woman covers the panocha completely, it looks like the exposed fangs of the Congo Bird spider ( tarantula ). Looks very inviting until she sinks the fangs in to fuck your life to pieces.
Man, she has the greatest lookin tarantuknuckle I've ever seen, I hope it eats my dong.
by uncle kurtie December 23, 2006

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