20 definitions by TheMocker
by TheMocker December 30, 2014
"It will be inevitable that the children will each want their pound of flesh during the holidays, so in order for us to make this vacation feasible, we will have to stand firm to our budget."
by TheMocker October 12, 2011
When I first found out that George W. Bush was running for President, I was aghast. Not just aghast, but literally laughing out loud. The man is and was clearly an idiot, and his father was such a failure as President that we kicked his ass out of office after one term. Why the hell would anyone with half a brain prop this man up as a candidate, let alone vote for him? As the race rolled along and I realized the Republicans were serious about white-washing and selling this amoral, spoiled aristocrat/self-proclaimed newborn Christian to the American people, I stated that if he ever got elected I would have to leave the country. Sadly, I discovered that Americans are far more easily manipulated than I ever could have imagined. Of course after he stole a second election I knew it was time to get out. When he "won" (with the help of the kind folks at Diebold) the second time, my heart broke. I cannot drive down the road without seeing those repulsive "W" stickers proudly displayed on cars. And in the name of this great nation he and his cronies helped not build, but who are contributing to its downfall. It is sickening.
Initially I was going to take up a lot of space here typing in fact after fact about Bush’s war crimes, his cocaine abuse, his constant lying, his foul mouth, his hypocrisy, and his cluelessness, but I realized a number of things:
Firstly, many people have done this better than I ever could, and it is not making a damn bit of difference, as the people pointing out his secretiveness, scandals and lies do not have the deep pockets of industrialists at their disposal. Not enough to even begin to keep up with the far right’s well-funded propaganda machine. We are now in a world of shit, as CNN and FOX "News" have destroyed Democracy, journalism, and freedom of speech in America.
Secondly, having spent a lot of time talking with Christian conservatives, and even garden-variety right-wingers, I have realized that soundly researched facts cannot hold up against culturally entrenched (and often absolutely misinformed, if not truly absurd) rhetoric. Simply put, right-wing Christians are so desperate to believe in this man that they have abandoned all logic and any desire to search for, or even listen to, the truth. And, if you bother to try and point out facts that run contrary to the myths they stubbornly believe about the Bush administration, they, like monkeys, will all gang up, reach into their asses and fling gobs of hot stinking rhetoric until some of it actually sticks to their intended target. Sadly, in their desperation to make the world in their image, Christian conservatives are applying to George W. Bush the same blind faith they apply to the Bible. This willful pig-ignorance is not only dangerous, but unforgivable. George W. Bush is not Jesus Christ. Honestly, I think if Jesus were here he wouldn’t touch the Bush administration with a ten-foot cross. I am certain that come THEIR judgement day, these so-called Christians will have to stand and answer for their willful ignorance and for their idolatry in thinking of Bush as the Second Coming.
I have three questions:
#1 - Why was it so bad that Clinton lied about a blow job but it is OK that George W. Bush lied about every aspect of this pointless and unjustified war? And I don’t want to hear about how Saddam Hussein had to be removed, because the end does NOT justify the means. Or, perhaps for right-wing Christians and Republicans, it does. They seem to be working with a far more skewed moral compass than the rest of us. And don’t tell me Bush got bad intelligence reports. Bullshit! He lied, you know it, I know it, he knows it....the whole world knows it. And Clinton could have NEVER gotten away with such a cheap excuse as bad intelligence reports. At least the only casualty of Clinton’s lie was a spunk-stained dress.
#2 - How in the hell is it that Bush (and in many accounts, ONLY Bush) can be proclaimed as some sort of hero for protecting America? Bin Laden (remember him?) attacked us, not Hussein. Simply put, we got the wrong guy. Why? Because just like college, his oil business, and his time in the military, catching bin Laden was too difficult, so Junior Bush bailed out and went after something easier. Why else? Because the Bushes are in bed with the bin Laden family. They have a business relationship that has in recent years become something of a family feud with the bin Ladens, the end result creating a severe conflict of interests when it comes to foreign policy. Additionally, Poppa Bush was unable (or unwilling) at getting Hussein the first time, and he wanted blood, so Junior stepped up to the plate to clean up the dirty mess his incompetent father left behind.
#3 - Why was it so bad that Clinton smoked pot but it is OK that George W. Bush snorted cocaine and is still a drunkard? And, to make matters worse by far, now that Bush and Rove, and CNN and FOX "News" have seen how much they can get away with, things are going to get a lot worse after his second term is over. Bush was only the far right’s warm-up act. I will not stay here and watch rich sons-of-bitches turn America into a third world country. They have been working diligently at it, and will wipe out the middle class in my lifetime, reducing America to a feudalism - or perhaps even worse, a theocracy.
If another Christian-conservative Republican candidate wins in 2008, regardless of how comparitively less right-wing he or she may be to good ol' Dubya, mark my words.....it will only be the beginning of the end. American society as we know it will be plunged into a second millenial version of the medieval dark ages - hell, we're already practically experiencing a 21st century equivalent of Hitler's Third Reich (and possibly even Stalin's USSR).
Initially I was going to take up a lot of space here typing in fact after fact about Bush’s war crimes, his cocaine abuse, his constant lying, his foul mouth, his hypocrisy, and his cluelessness, but I realized a number of things:
Firstly, many people have done this better than I ever could, and it is not making a damn bit of difference, as the people pointing out his secretiveness, scandals and lies do not have the deep pockets of industrialists at their disposal. Not enough to even begin to keep up with the far right’s well-funded propaganda machine. We are now in a world of shit, as CNN and FOX "News" have destroyed Democracy, journalism, and freedom of speech in America.
Secondly, having spent a lot of time talking with Christian conservatives, and even garden-variety right-wingers, I have realized that soundly researched facts cannot hold up against culturally entrenched (and often absolutely misinformed, if not truly absurd) rhetoric. Simply put, right-wing Christians are so desperate to believe in this man that they have abandoned all logic and any desire to search for, or even listen to, the truth. And, if you bother to try and point out facts that run contrary to the myths they stubbornly believe about the Bush administration, they, like monkeys, will all gang up, reach into their asses and fling gobs of hot stinking rhetoric until some of it actually sticks to their intended target. Sadly, in their desperation to make the world in their image, Christian conservatives are applying to George W. Bush the same blind faith they apply to the Bible. This willful pig-ignorance is not only dangerous, but unforgivable. George W. Bush is not Jesus Christ. Honestly, I think if Jesus were here he wouldn’t touch the Bush administration with a ten-foot cross. I am certain that come THEIR judgement day, these so-called Christians will have to stand and answer for their willful ignorance and for their idolatry in thinking of Bush as the Second Coming.
I have three questions:
#1 - Why was it so bad that Clinton lied about a blow job but it is OK that George W. Bush lied about every aspect of this pointless and unjustified war? And I don’t want to hear about how Saddam Hussein had to be removed, because the end does NOT justify the means. Or, perhaps for right-wing Christians and Republicans, it does. They seem to be working with a far more skewed moral compass than the rest of us. And don’t tell me Bush got bad intelligence reports. Bullshit! He lied, you know it, I know it, he knows it....the whole world knows it. And Clinton could have NEVER gotten away with such a cheap excuse as bad intelligence reports. At least the only casualty of Clinton’s lie was a spunk-stained dress.
#2 - How in the hell is it that Bush (and in many accounts, ONLY Bush) can be proclaimed as some sort of hero for protecting America? Bin Laden (remember him?) attacked us, not Hussein. Simply put, we got the wrong guy. Why? Because just like college, his oil business, and his time in the military, catching bin Laden was too difficult, so Junior Bush bailed out and went after something easier. Why else? Because the Bushes are in bed with the bin Laden family. They have a business relationship that has in recent years become something of a family feud with the bin Ladens, the end result creating a severe conflict of interests when it comes to foreign policy. Additionally, Poppa Bush was unable (or unwilling) at getting Hussein the first time, and he wanted blood, so Junior stepped up to the plate to clean up the dirty mess his incompetent father left behind.
#3 - Why was it so bad that Clinton smoked pot but it is OK that George W. Bush snorted cocaine and is still a drunkard? And, to make matters worse by far, now that Bush and Rove, and CNN and FOX "News" have seen how much they can get away with, things are going to get a lot worse after his second term is over. Bush was only the far right’s warm-up act. I will not stay here and watch rich sons-of-bitches turn America into a third world country. They have been working diligently at it, and will wipe out the middle class in my lifetime, reducing America to a feudalism - or perhaps even worse, a theocracy.
If another Christian-conservative Republican candidate wins in 2008, regardless of how comparitively less right-wing he or she may be to good ol' Dubya, mark my words.....it will only be the beginning of the end. American society as we know it will be plunged into a second millenial version of the medieval dark ages - hell, we're already practically experiencing a 21st century equivalent of Hitler's Third Reich (and possibly even Stalin's USSR).
We are not the land of the free or the home of the brave, contrary to what the George W. Bush regime may try to have us believe. There are numerous countries more free than we are, and I want to see them. I am tired of living in a country that does not back up its boasts of freedom for all. America talks the talk but it does not walk the walk. If there are any "righties" out there reading this, instead of jerking your knees, do a little research, you might be upset to find out that this is true! Or, you could just reach into your asses and fling more stinking rhetoric at me.
Either way, I am urging all American citizens of voting age who have at least a thread of common sense and intelligence to do the right thing in 2008.
After all, no matter how bad things are, or could still get...remember and have faith that history could very well repeat itself, that these "dark ages" could recede....and we may yet live to see another Renaissance once again.
Either way, I am urging all American citizens of voting age who have at least a thread of common sense and intelligence to do the right thing in 2008.
After all, no matter how bad things are, or could still get...remember and have faith that history could very well repeat itself, that these "dark ages" could recede....and we may yet live to see another Renaissance once again.
by TheMocker October 28, 2006
I hit the wall around 3 yesterday. I had a couple of hours left to work but I just wanted to go home and crash.
by TheMocker August 7, 2010
"It's here nor there Kyle that I should of taken the cat in to be declawed by now!! It was your responsibility to keep an eye on him, and since you didn't, he went into my room and tore my pantyhose to shreds! Now I gotta go and buy all new pairs and guess what...it's coming out of your allowance mister!!"
by TheMocker January 19, 2008
"The ONE day I call in sick at work, and the fucking boss, who happens to leave work early... sees me at the strip joint...go figure!!!"
"Whoaaa.....bad scene, dude!"
"Whoaaa.....bad scene, dude!"
by TheMocker September 14, 2006
A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes
in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an escapee. Try using a camo cough with an Astaire.
in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an escapee. Try using a camo cough with an Astaire.
after eating his aunt's renowned recipe of spicy jerk chicken, a havana omelet came back and struck fat eldon with a vengeance!
by TheMocker November 1, 2005