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5 definitions by The lol Bandit

 
1.
A badly written book by Stephenie Meyer about a sparkling "vampire" *coughfairycough* named Gary-SueCullen who falls in love with a human, Mary-Sue Swan.

Gary-Sue is an abusive, 100 year old virgin stuck in the body of a 17 year old. Mary-Sue is a complete idiot who can't think or do things for herself. Gary-Sue loves Mary-Sue ONLY because of the way she smells. (Time of the mont, amirite?) Mary-Sue only loves Gary-Sue because he's "hot", cold to the touch and his skin is as hard as stone. (Statue fetish, anyone?)

Mary-Sue also falls in love with Pedo Bear the werewolf.

Gary-Sue promises he'll never leave Mary-Sue and that he'll always love her. Then he dumps her and Mary-sue flings herself off a cliff because she's so emo and can't live without her sparklepire boyfriend.

Later on Gary-Sue fucks Mary-Sue so hard it hurts her and gets Mary-Sue pregnant and rips the baby out of Mary-Sue's stomach with his teeth.

Because Pedo Bear could not score with Mary-Sue, he imprints on the infant vampire mutant... demon... thing, making her his future wife. In 7 or so years the baby has the body of an 18 year old and Pedo Bear is happy.
Twitard: Like, OMG! Twilight is so deep and well thought out and the plot is UHMAZING!! It's an UUUUHHHHHMAAAAZZZZIIINNNGGG BUUUUUUKKK!!!!!!!

Normal person: No, Twilight does not have a plot, the writing sucks and it's nothing more than a 35 year old's wet dream of underage fairies.

Twitard: EXCUSE ME? HOW DARE YOU! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS YOU'RE NOT PRETTY LIKE BELLA AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE ANYONE LOVE YOU AND YOU CAN BURN IN HELL, LESBIAN BITCH!
by The lol Bandit May 10, 2009
 
2.
A twitard is an obsessed fan of the suck ass vampire series Twilight.

Twitards are dangerous. Many have attacked innocent people all for saying they didn't like Twilight.

If you see a twitard, act with caution. They may pull a knife on you, throw acid in your face, hit you with Twilight it's self across the face and scratch your eyes out, just to name a few attacks that have happened.
Damn twitard pulled a knife on my granny all because she had never heard of Edward Cullen. WTF?
by The lol Bandit February 25, 2009
 
3.
Haruhiko Ash is the coolest rock star to ever come from Japan. EVER. All you visual kei fangirls need to listen to REAL music like The Zolge (Ash's previous punk rock band) and Eve of Destiny. Ash's awesome gothic-ness kicks visual kei's ass!
I don't care if you don't think he's cute, you little lolita poser! Haruhiko Ash is the God Father, nay, the GOD of Japanese rock. Mana better step aside, bitches.
by The lol Bandit January 26, 2009
 
4.
Elfwood is a sucktastic "art" community for fantasy, scifi and fanart writers and artists.

They are so strict on rules that your drawing must be PERFECT to be put in your own gallery. The douchebag mods are picky as to who can actualy post anything. ONE thing wrong with your darwing, such as your scanner sucks and the color isn't right, but you can't fix it, and they reject it, no matter how much talent you have.

The writing section of Elfwood is the suckiest. How ANYONE can get their stories in there is amazing, seeing as how the mods are even more picky with that!

Younger artists on Elfwood are given no respect by older artists, no matter how talented and older artists can steal younger artists art and get away with it.

Elfwood is also a place you'll find alot of 13-year-old anime/manga fans spouting kawaii!!! at the anime fanart, which most of the time is traced.

Bottom line is, Elfwood sucks and has taken the true meaning of art and stomped all over it just to see the real artists cry... Way to go Elfwood.
WTF??? Elfwood rejected my drawing because of one microscopic flaw not visible to the human eye!
by The lol Bandit December 15, 2008
 
5.
The most kick ass Japanese rock band ever.

Before visual kei took over the minds of teenage girls like zombies, punk rock ruled the world. The Zolge was, and still is, the best Japanese punk rock band to date. Haruhiko Ash and his buds knew how to rock the house.
The Zolge can kick pussy emo rock ass!!!
by The lol Bandit February 20, 2009