The Gonzo Lecture's definitions
Someone appointed from another institution by a university to question every little, trivial detail of an assessment or graded paper in order to justify their own hefty stipend, make lecturers' lives annoyingly miserable (thus reminding them they are still only employees) and to feign the appearance of academic quality.
Elvira: Leo the external examiner has returned your examination for review because some of the questions require commas to be added. Make sure you do this before you leave the office at 2.30pm today.
Chuck: If all Leo has to do for his money is correct my grammar, then I'd be grateful if you'd ask him to stick that examination paper up his fat arse.
Chuck: If all Leo has to do for his money is correct my grammar, then I'd be grateful if you'd ask him to stick that examination paper up his fat arse.
by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010
Get the external examinermug. A word used by academics to confuse students and justify all manner of outrageous crimes against humanity in the name of education. It is primarily applied in situations when an academic requires the ability to smokescreen their own maladjusted intention and win unwinnable arguments with the minimum amount of effort.
Jane "Professor, I'd like you to explain to me why I got such a low grade."
Professor "Well I don't really have the time to explain the inner workings of pedagogy to you young lady. Even if i did, I'm not sure I could help you to understand."
Jane "Huh? What are you talking about?"
Professor "You see? Exactly."
Professor "Well I don't really have the time to explain the inner workings of pedagogy to you young lady. Even if i did, I'm not sure I could help you to understand."
Jane "Huh? What are you talking about?"
Professor "You see? Exactly."
by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010
Get the pedagogymug. A slang term for a woman. Considered by many (mostly women) to be a derogatory term used by people (usually men) to suggest a particular woman enjoys the practice of having men ejaculating semen into and onto various parts of her body.
by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010
Get the Cum Catchermug. A learning strategy devised by academics to divert attention from themselves and their own activities, cut down on teaching time and cause the maximum amount of stress and discomfort to their students. Groupwork involves the administration of complex, indecipherable assessment tasks which students are left to spend long hours together in each others' company to figure out leading often to short periods of abusive conflict and sometimes even longer periods of fornication and even marriage.
Jemima: Professor, can you please answer me a question about our assignment?
Professor: No I can't. You see, it's groupwork. You have to figure it out together with your team mates. Why not go and ask Brad to help you. He looks like he'd be happy to straighten you out. I have to go now and see if that infernal coffee bar is open yet.
Professor: No I can't. You see, it's groupwork. You have to figure it out together with your team mates. Why not go and ask Brad to help you. He looks like he'd be happy to straighten you out. I have to go now and see if that infernal coffee bar is open yet.
by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010
Get the groupworkmug. A process carried out by university administrators in the Autumn term which involves shedding students who don't turn up regularly to classes to ensure they aren't charged fees and become an unnecessary financial burden to the institution. This is performed by the student being summarily "deregistered" on the grounds that they are "inadequately engaged" on their programme of study. As a result, students find they are suddenly unable to submit coursework or access any university facilities whatsoever, thus providing proof that they are indeed no longer engaged.
Chris the student: Hey professor! Why can't I submit coursework or access any online library facilities in order to complete my term papers?
Professor: You've probably become an unwitting victim of the most recent "Autumn Courtesy Flush."
Chris: What's that?
Professor: You've been deregistered because you haven't been coming to class.
Chris: My God! But if I can't submit assignments I'll fail the year.
Professor: Yes, well you should have thought of that, shouldn't you? Anyway, good luck with your career.
Professor: You've probably become an unwitting victim of the most recent "Autumn Courtesy Flush."
Chris: What's that?
Professor: You've been deregistered because you haven't been coming to class.
Chris: My God! But if I can't submit assignments I'll fail the year.
Professor: Yes, well you should have thought of that, shouldn't you? Anyway, good luck with your career.
by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010
Get the Autumn Courtesy Flushmug. Jase the Needle: So Chaz, tell me how you like your tattoo...
Chaz the victim: Fuck! What the hell is that? What have you done?!!
Jase the Needle: That's ink rape, my friend, pure and simple.
Chaz the victim: Fuck! What the hell is that? What have you done?!!
Jase the Needle: That's ink rape, my friend, pure and simple.
by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010
Get the Ink Rapemug. The indisputable importance of Jon Stewart was confirmed by the Family Guy character, Mort Goldman who exclaimed “Protect Jon Stewart! He's our most important Jew!”
by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010
Get the Jon Stewartmug.