14 definitions by The Cap N'

1. A diseased or poisoned garment given to someone in order to infect or afflict them.

2. A reference to smallpox blankets allegedly given to the Pontiac Indians.

See: Ottawa jizz rag, Nessus shirt, Shirt of Nesus, Nessus Snuggy, Tunic of Nessus
I woke up with a cold sore after crashing at Dan's apartment after the party. I'm pretty sure he gave me the ol' Pontiac blanket because I cock-blocked him.
by The Cap N' August 11, 2020
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1. Urban Dictionary Illiterate.

2. When someone is too stupid to spell or grammar check a post that they want to be in Urban Dictionary.

3. When someone doesn't read or ignores the guidance on defining words in Urban Dictionary so they try to post the names of their love interest or perceived antagonist in an effort to satisfy their own ego while also neglecting to understand the finer points of stalking, slander, and libel.
1. These udilliterate kids don't seem to understand enough about real words to be able to articulate the made up definitions of fake words. They're literally unrelatable.

2. Why would these udilliterates try to define somebody's name on Urban Dictionary thinking it's going to get you laid or be a big enough slight to change the way someone is? I could list exactly how many times that's worked. Zero.

2.
by The Cap N' July 20, 2020
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The one man on the Police Squad who hasn't given up looking for the real killer(s) of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman.
Officer Nordberg has remained dogged about finding the real killer since he accidentally contaminated and ruined the crime scene with his own DNA.
by The Cap N' July 21, 2020
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A neurological disorder generally presenting itself in males aged 18-40 as a result of deploying to environments that are so hot the brain cooks inside of a helmet that is bombarded by high frequency radio waves and X-ray radiation while simultaneously trying to figure out exactly what the mission is. The people who are handicapped by this syndrome return noticably impaired in both mental and physical capabilities.
My uncle has Deployment Driven Down Syndrome (DDDS). He spent 9 months looking at the same patch of desert for 8 hours a day during OSS while running a backscatter.
by The Cap N' August 21, 2023
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1. A made up legal term that has no statute because the law sees these creatures as nuisance animals.

2. The completely legal and responsible activity of eliminating trash pandas from your neighborhood or property so as to preserve the cleanliness of the area and rid it of diseased pest.
1. Some turds went on YouTube and accused this guy of raccoon murder. Turns out, there's no such thing.

2. I was tired of half the trash cans being tipped over and the garbage being scattered throughout the neighborhood. So I went on a raccoon murder spree.
by The Cap N' July 21, 2020
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1. Operation Spartan Shield (OSS), Operation Enduring Freedom, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, and OSS again without ever having your unit in the same place for the same unified effort so as not to mass force and be effective.

2. A tour in Southwest Asia that is analogous to plugging a hole in a dam with your fingers only to find it springing a leak somewhere else.

3. The worst 14 months of your life.
1. Remember OSSOEFKSAOSS when we were spread all over the place and had a scavenger hunt for those slack jawed idiots equipment?

2. Oh, by the way, before you go home from OSSOEFKSAOSS, you're going to have to quarantine for two weeks after quarantining for two weeks after living in an isolated population where you quarantined for two weeks.

3. OSSOEFKSAOSS was the worst deployment of my life.
by The Cap N' May 19, 2021
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1. Any cloth article that has been saturated with jizz and worn for a prolonged period of time to the point that the fibers have been broken down and holes are now present. This item is usually a serious risk of infection to the wearer and others who come into contact with it.

2. A Snuggy.
Karl has been in quarantine for two weeks. He's not sick but, if he keeps wearing that Ottawa jizz rag, he will be.
by The Cap N' August 10, 2020
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