The the most individual in the entire world, obsessed with the colour grey. No one should have the misfortune of being turned into such a grey abomination by this person. He is so uptight, and boring- that a device (rumoured to be used by Hitler himself) has been attached to his testicles to remove them from the inside of his body- rumoured to be the cause of his blandness.
Guy1: Hey, it's sunny and there's not a cloud in the sky- let's just be outside!
Guy1: I think I'd like to go inside and sit in a wet cardboard box instead.