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Tenacious Faulker's definitions

Big Data

Modern day version of Big Brother. Online searches, store purchases, Facebook posts, Tweets or Foursquare check-ins, cell phone usage, etc. is creating a flood of data that, when organized and categorized and analyzed, reveals trends and habits about ourselves and society at large.

Search engines and marketing companies have gathered and sorted 90% of all information on our habits ever created by our species in just the past 2 years and 10% of all photographs taken in the history of cameras and videos where taken in 2011 all from the electronic devices which we are either unable or unwilling to live without.
Girl: Hey did you see those crazy photos I posted on Facebook? Sexy, right?

Boy: No.

Girl: No? I tweeted them and sexted them to you too.

Boy: I'm trying to stay off the grid.

Girl: What on Earth for?!

Boy: Because Big Data is watching, that's why, and I don't I don't want the government knowing my business!

Girl: You're weird.

Boy: And you're just another rat in the maze.
by Tenacious Faulker December 8, 2012
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Grande

A spanish word, supposedly meaning "large", bastardized by the Starbucks marketing machine to mean medium; their 16oz coffee.
I hate going into a Starbuck's for coffee. The dumbass baristas always treat me like an idiot because I confuse a "Tall, "Grande" and "Vente". Grande is spanish for large, right? "Short" is the only size that makes any sense and "Vente" is an Italian word! WTF is that?! Why can't they just call them small, medium, large and extra large anyway?
by Tenacious Faulker May 18, 2009
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throw my hat

To throw one's hat in (as "in the ring") is to:
1) to challenge or contend for something.

2) nominate someone or oneself for something. To volunteer.

A boxing metaphor that originated in the early 19th century when one who wished to challenge a boxer would throw his hat into the ring as a way of having your challenge noticed in a crowded ring.
In 1912 Theodore Roosevelt, who was an advid boxer, was the first presidential candidate to use "throw my hat in the ring" to announce his run at the U.S. presidency.
by Tenacious Faulker April 5, 2009
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nasty ass

Someone who is foul and disgusting in appearance, attitude, speech and/or deed even by ghetto standards.
Darnelle: I got busy with dis bitch last night, Yo! She did everything! She pissed on me, threw up in my mouth, shit on my chest, and put big ass beads in my ass!

Tavone: And you came here without a bath?! Damn, D! Get yo' nasty ass away from me, Yo!
by Tenacious Faulker November 22, 2011
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panic boner

Getting a sudden and uncontrollable boner from a sudden shock of fear. Usually happens when one freaks out during a public speaking .
According to Wikipedia, actor Thomas Lennon sufffers from panic boners. Apparently he's more nervous in front of crowds than he let's on.
by Tenacious Faulker March 29, 2015
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eyeball test

To scan over something or someone quickly; to measure without using any tools other than the naked eye; guessing; approximating. A term often used in sports scouting to see if a player or team passes muster without looking at any metrics.
We passed on that short receiver because he didn't pass the ball test.

I know that actress just walked in off the street, but but she passes my eyeball test. Get her signed and to the studio pronto!

I left a blind date before I even sat down. She didn't pass my eyeball test.

That presentation needs to be reformatted to read better. Its simply doesn't pass an eyeball test.
by Tenacious Faulker March 5, 2014
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Ex-lax

noun. A name for a person who fouls something up; a fuck up, a schelmiel.
Hey! Smooth move, Ex-lax!
by Tenacious Faulker April 16, 2009
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