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Tenacious Faulker's definitions

panic boner

Getting a sudden and uncontrollable boner from a sudden shock of fear. Usually happens when one freaks out during a public speaking .
According to Wikipedia, actor Thomas Lennon sufffers from panic boners. Apparently he's more nervous in front of crowds than he let's on.
by Tenacious Faulker March 29, 2015
mugGet the panic bonermug.

bar equity

The amount of time and money a guy spends on trying to hook up with a girl at a bar or night club.
Example 1:
Dude1: How'd it go last night?
Dude2: Terrible! I spent 3 hours and $45 of bar equity into some chick at the club only to have her fat cockblocker friend suddenly drag her away drunkenly shouting, "We gotta go now! Bye, Bye!"

Example 2:
Random bar ho: Hey Sexy! Wanna buy me a drink?
Guy: Uhhhh......
Wingman: (whispers) Wait, dude! You can't put any bar equity into a jersey girl. They can hold way too mch liqour and may drop you for some guido.
by Tenacious Faulker July 19, 2009
mugGet the bar equitymug.

Ken Doll

1) A meek or mild mannered man; a wuss, acting like you have no balls; no guts; no spine.
2) A poorly hung male remenicent of a Ken doll.
3) A male, overly attactive or primped, superficial, possibly straight, gay, bi or metrosexual. Also remenicent of a Ken Doll.
1) Clay is such a wuss that he never takes any risks or stands up for himself. What a Ken Doll.
Howard Stern admits he's hung like a Ken Doll
3) David Hasslehoff is an over the hill Ken Doll.
by Tenacious Faulker February 6, 2009
mugGet the Ken Dollmug.

tweetfreak

Reminiscent of a speed freak (aka: the tweeker) it is one who's OCD about memorializing everything they do at any given moment on Twitter; that is, one who tweets incessantly, constantly and/or needlessly.
(phone rings)
Candy: Hello?

Sam: Hey, babe! It's me. Just callin' to see what you're doing tonight. Wanna go out?

Candy: Wait a sec...(tweets this call)...check me out on Twitter. I just twatted you (giggles).

Sam: Uhhh...I'm driving right now...I'm not at a computer.

Candy: Oh that's ok. Check it out when you get home. Seeya (CLICK).

Sam: What the f...?! I gotta dump that Goddamn, tweetfreak!
by Tenacious Faulker May 2, 2009
mugGet the tweetfreakmug.

eyeball test

To scan over something or someone quickly; to measure without using any tools other than the naked eye; guessing; approximating. A term often used in sports scouting to see if a player or team passes muster without looking at any metrics.
We passed on that short receiver because he didn't pass the ball test.

I know that actress just walked in off the street, but but she passes my eyeball test. Get her signed and to the studio pronto!

I left a blind date before I even sat down. She didn't pass my eyeball test.

That presentation needs to be reformatted to read better. Its simply doesn't pass an eyeball test.
by Tenacious Faulker March 5, 2014
mugGet the eyeball testmug.

Beaming Schatner off the Enterprise

Yet another colorful coloquialism for taking a dump: "Beaming" for the act of evacuation, "Schatner" as in the past tense of To shit (shat), and "off the Enterprise" denoting out of the anus (as in "the prize to be entered").

Not to be confused with Beaming Dr. Bones onto the Enterprise; the act of anal sex.
Man! Your mom's cooking is so bad it had me beaming Schatner off the Enterprise all night!
by Tenacious Faulker October 16, 2008
mugGet the Beaming Schatner off the Enterprisemug.

brain drain

When an organization or community is doing poorly enough that its smartest people, seeing the writing on the wall, leave for better opportunities elsewhere. This is common in business and other organizations that perpetuate a common goal or mission and once purged it typically accelerates the demise of the organiztion.

For example: Facebook's poor stock performance since it's IPO and lack of favorable stock options for employees puts them at risk of brain drain. Many will likely head over to Google or Apple, but they'll be in trouble.
Mark Zuckerberg: Sheryl, can find me those repots on Zynga's...Hey?! Why are wearing a Google sweatshirt?!

Sheryl Sandberg: Sorry Mark. We had a good run, but your lack of focus on ad revenue and overvalued IPO has caused this drop in FB stock value with no end in sight. I and the others are leaving before the stock tanks.

Mark Z: The others? They're all leaving Facebook? You can't! We'll never survive this brain drain!

Sheryl: Yeah, sorry. You should've thought about that before going public.
by Tenacious Faulker August 21, 2012
mugGet the brain drainmug.

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